Masquerade
by dithemo
Summary: Quinn's life is finally getting on the rails again. But after everything that has happened to her, she notices that she has lost sight of what's been happening to her former best friend Santana. Can she find out what's wrong and help the girl, or give up?
1. Chapter 1

Quinn was walking through the halls of McKinley, her head held high.

So she wasn't a Cheerio anymore, at least she wasn't a skank anymore either. She'd gotten herself together again, and even though she wasn't at the top of the food chain anymore, she felt pretty happy about herself.

Shelby had finally understood that it would be best to keep a distance between Beth and her, they had won regionals, Rachel had understood that marrying Finn would be the most stupid thing to do – ever, _(writers of a certain tv show did not nearly kill her off in a car accident, nvdr)_ and she herself had gotten into Yale.

_Freaking Yale_.

She wasn't used to swearing, but she just couldn't think of it in any other way.

Even with everything that had happened to her, she had been able to struggle through, and she had even been able to get into a great college – she got accepted to _freaking_ Yale!

Just thinking about it made her smile, which caused the Glee clubbers to look at her in amusement as she walked into the classroom.

"Wow, looking pretty happy there, Q!" Mercedes said, motioning her over to sit next to her. "Care to explain?"

"Indeed, Quinn, you do seem particularly pleased today. It is almost as if you're glowing! Not that there is anything wrong with that, I might add, but I suppose we are just curious as to what has occurred to make you feel so… dare I say it – gleeful."

The rest of the club had filed in by now and sat down, and they all smiled and rolled their eyes at Rachel's use of words. Good thing everybody had pretty much gotten used to it by now.

Well… everybody…

Quinn looked expectantly at the Latina that had gone to sit behind her and saw her make a finger-in-the-throat-puking-motion to show the rest what she thought of Rachel's rambling, but she didn't add a snappy remark.

If she thought about it, the blonde figured that Santana hadn't been doing that for a while now. I mean, she was still sarcastic and unfriendly, but not as… mean anymore.

Quinn just figured it was because she too was starting to consider glee club as her family, and she was glad about that. The past two years with these people had really been amazing, after all.

She went back to the conversation when she realised that she still hadn't answered Rachel's question, and that the brunette was obviously five milliseconds away from going into another rant.

"Geez, guys, can't a girl just be happy?" she smiled even brighter as she said it.

"No", came Kurt's immediate and dry response from the second row, his legs crossed, quirking an eyebrow at Quinn as if to say 'duh!'.

They all laughed at his joke, and were still laughing when Mr. Schue came in.

He smiled immediately. "Wow guys, I'm glad to see your moods have improved since we won regionals last week!"

They all continued smiling, and chuckled when Rachel went to the front.

"Indeed, Mr. Schue, and I wanted to talk to you all about that. Now, I now you were all very disappointed when Finn and I decided not to get married yet, and some even worried, but to ease your worries: your power couple is still together and already working hard on a duet for Nationals. Also-"

Quinn pretty much tuned out after that. Sure, she was friends with Rachel now, but that didn't mean she was going to listen to every thing the girl said. She didn't exactly want her brain to implode.

As she was zoning out, she looked around the room to see the others do the exact same thing. Finn was intently looking at Rachel with a smile on his face, but Quinn could see that his mind had gone elsewhere. Mike and Tina had their heads on each others' shoulders, smiling dreamily. Kurt and Mercedes were already talking with one another, as true gossip queens. Brittany was sitting on Artie's lap, and kissed him on the nose as he smiled at her lovingly, and-

_Hold up._

Quinn frowned. What the hell was happening here?

She looked behind her and saw that Santana was filing her nails, apparently not caring about anything that was happening in the room. When she noticed that Quinn was looking at her, the Latina gave her infamous eye-roll, and went back to her nails.

The blonde turned back, and her thoughts were racing.

_How did this happen? I thought they were together? Like, fine and together after Quinn had outed her. I just have to think back… At regionals, they were… I can't remember what they were doing then… But, definitely, at Valentine's day, Santana… gave her a gift? No, wait… I saw Brittany with a heart-shaped box, so that must have been… Santana's? But that wasn't really the girl's style though…. But they've been sitting together in glee, right? They always sit together in glee?_

Quinn pained her head thinking about it, but she could only come up with one thing.

_Oh… my… god…. I've completely forgotten about my best friend! I know everything Rachel thought before the wedding, I know what Mike and Sam have done over the weekend, I even know that the Irish and Sugar went on a date last weekend, hell… I even know what Britt had for breakfast this past week! Why the hell don't I know about Santana?_

As she was completely lost in thought, she was suddenly shocked awake by Mr. Schuester loudly clapping his hands together.

"Okay guys, I'm afraid that's all the time we have today. But tomorrow, we'll start preparing for nationals!"

The group cheered – _not sure whether it's because they didn't have to listen to Berry anymore, or really because of nationals_ – and loudly started packing up.

Mercedes started talking to her again as they packed up, but Quinn noticed that Santana didn't participate in any conversation and was already slipping out the door.

The blonde wanted to go after the girl, but Rachel blocked her path and asked her what her plans were this afternoon. Apparently the glee girls – and Kurt - had had the idea of going to the mall, seeing as the guys had decided to meet up for a game-marathon.

She absentmindedly agreed to meeting up with them, and as they walked out the room she looked around to see if she could find Santana anywhere, but the girl had already gone.

_Ah well, I'll see her at glee-girl time this afternoon anyways. Besides, she's probably just in a hurry today, she didn't rush out this fast last week,… right?_

On her way home, Quinn pondered again on how she didn't know anything about Santana anymore. What had happened?

It's not like the girl changed or anything. She was still all bitching and glaring at everyone, although she was nicer to the gleeks of course, but she had been kind of nicer since their second year.

_I mean, she hasn't changed, like, at all. The sarcasm is still intact. The attitude as well. Her bitch-face is so perfect it probably makes Sue extremely proud… So why do I get the feeling something's wrong?_

She wanted to shrug it off, saying it was probably just hormones like when she was pregnant, but she couldn't use that excuse anymore.

_Although… The whole situation with Shelby could be seen as some kind of post-natal stress disorder or something… Yeah, that's probably it. I'll just talk with her later and try to reconnect, it'll all be fine!_

When she got home, she quickly threw her stuff into her room and hurried back downstairs.

"Notttt so fast young lady!" Her mom appeared from the kitchen. "Where are you rushing off to? Or should I say, who…?" She wiggled her eyebrows, and Quinn chuckled as she rolled her eyes. Her mother had really become much more pleasant after she had kicked her father out.

"To the mall with the glee girls mom. Well, the girls and Kurt, but he doesn't exactly count as your kind of 'who' anyways."

Judy smiled at her daughter, glad that the girl was finally happy again.

"True, true… Alright sweetie, have fun, but don't be home too late, okay? It is a school night!"

"I won't mom, see you later!" she shouted as she hurried out the door. She loved her mom, but right now she really looked forward to being happy with her friends… And to finally find out what's going on in their lives, especially in a certain Latina's!

She arrived at the mall a bit later, and noticed that the others were already waiting for her at their usual meeting point.

"Hey Quinn, just in time!" Brittany waved at her, beaming. The others smiled as well. Quinn did a quick head count.

_So… Mercedes, Brittany, Rachel, Tina, Sugar, Kurt,… the only one missing is-_

"Okay guys, let's go! HM first or what?" Mercedes spoke up and the rest nodded and already started moving towards the shop.

"Wait, hold up", Quinn shot in, "aren't we going to wait for Santana?"

The others stopped and looked at her in surprise.

"Santana?" Even Tina, probably the smartest and most sensible one of the group looked at her questioningly.

"Yeah, Santana", Quinn answered, getting slightly annoyed. "You know, feisty Latina, our age, little bit smaller than me,… _also a glee girl_?"

The others looked at her with a confused expression. Mercedes finally answered.

"Well yeah, of course we know, but… I mean, she always turns down these types of things, so we kinda… stopped asking her. I mean, it makes sense, right?" She turned to look at the others, "Right?" They nodded in response.

"As Mercedes said, Quinn, Santana has never been the most pleasant person and we all know she has only been around us leisurely because she harboured feelings for Brittany, but now that their relationship has ended-"

"Yeah, when did that happen, exactly?" Quinn quickly shot in. She understood what Rachel was saying, Santana was never very enthusiastic, but at the same time she thought it was pretty awful. And on top of that, she still didn't know what had happened between her two best friends!

Brittany looked at her bashfully, her head down as she played with her fingers.

"I was still in love with Artie, and he went through a lot of trouble to make things right with me, so…"

"Wait, when was this?"

"Um, around Christmas, I guess? Yeah, it was probably around the time of that silly tv-thing we did. Artie and I worked together pretty closely and… we reconnived…"

"Reconciled?" Brittany nodded, but when she saw Quinn's angry expression, she quickly added:

"Oh, but not like cheating or anything! I told Sannie right away and she understood and now we're friends again!"

Quinn looked around her as the others all nodded. So... she was the only one who didn't know this?

Kurt shot in to help Britt. "Yeah, Quinn, Santana seemed pretty okay about it. I told her she might want to sing it off in a song, but she just said she was fine and made a comment about my girly face, so I'm pretty sure she's alright."

Quinn just nodded. What could she say? That her 'spider-sense was tingling'?

One: that would be way too geeky, and two: she wasn't even sure what was wrong, or if anything was wrong at all.

All she knew, is that she wanted to find out. Her former best frenemy needed her, and whether the girl liked it or not, Quinn was determined to help…

* * *

**_A/N: Started a new story, but I'm not too sure about this one. I have the feeling that I suck at things that don't include action, and that include actual emotions as the main theme and stuff... But, it doesn't hurt to try, right? Hope you enjoyed it!_**


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Quinn woke up to a sunny day, and she started smiling as she got up in bed, but her smile quickly faded when she thought of what had happened yesterday.

As she got out of bed, her thoughts went back to Santana and how she had no idea of what happened to the girl in the past few months.

_I mean, fine, I've been a bit self-absorbed, sure. But I know about everybody else, just not her. Except the Brittany-Artie thing… How did I not see that? Or maybe I saw it, but never noticed it… They do look pretty natural together…_

"No!" She felt like slapping herself for thinking like that. Quinn frowned at herself in her bathroom mirror. Brittany and Santana were perfect together, and she knew for a fact that Santana had loved the girl more than anything in the world.

She thought of what Kurt had said – _"she seemed okay with it."_

How could anyone be okay with that? Fine, Santana is usually pretty good at masking her emotions, but usually Quinn could see right through it; Santana would be even bitchier than usual, every once in a while she could see her shoulders slump when the girl thought no one was watching her, and in the end she would come to either Quinn or Brittany for help.

Quinn thought back about the past weeks – or judging by what Britt had said, months – and tried to figure out if Santana had done anything differently.

She was still breaking her head about it when she got downstairs, and was frowning as she said down at the table.

"Wow!" Her mother's voice broke her from her thoughts.

"What?", Quinn asked snappily, obviously not happy that her thoughts got disturbed.

"No need for the attitude, missy." Her mother quirked her eyebrow – the infamous Fabray-move – and crossed her arms.

Quinn sighed. "Sorry mom, I was just… lost in thought."

"Yeah, I've noticed. You were so lost in thought, you didn't even notice that I'm making bacon! Normally, you fly downstairs when you so much as smell –"

Judy didn't get any further in her explanation, because Quinn's eyes had widened at the information, and the girl had jumped up to fill her plate with bacon-strips.

She was completely focused on her food now, and figured that thinking about Santana could wait till school… Or talking to her, that would be better…

But now: BACON.

* * *

When she pulled up at school, she had one mission in her head ( - after bacon she became very energetic):

Talk to Santana.

That was pretty much it, she just wanted to finish her own pondering and put her head at rest for a bit. And she figured this would be the easiest way to do that.

So after she had gotten her books from her locker, she went looking for the Latina. But she soon noticed that that was easier said than done.

Normally she would have just gone looking for Brittany, and wherever the blonde was dancing around at that moment, Santana would be.

But when she saw Brittany jumping up and down, the only one she noticed next to her was Artie. Quinn went up to them.

"Hey Quinnie!" Brittany beamed at her as she came closer. Artie gave a little wave-and-smile as well.

"Hey Britt, Artie. How are you two?"

"Fine, thanks!" Brittany was all smiles again as she answered, but her face became more serious afterwards, as Artie wheeled away to his first class. "Listen, Quinn, I know the news about me and Artie came as a shock to you 'cause you hadn't noticed it 'cause your hair was cotton candy and stuff, but I really didn't mean to hurt San or anything, so…"

Quinn felt guilty for being so irritated by the news about the two of them, and she knew it wasn't fair of her to have acted that way yesterday. After all, they had openly been a couple again for months, and she hadn't even noticed.

"Hey, Britt, don't worry about it. I feel bad for not seeing anything anyways, so it's fine. But… About Santana, where is she? I feel like I haven't talked to her in forever."

Brittany frowned as she obviously thought deeply about Quinn's question.

"Dunno… She usually comes to say hello to me if she sees me at my locker… But I haven't seen her today yet, I think… She's pretty ninja these days."

This time it was Quinn's turn to frown.

"Ninja?"

Brittany grinned as she answered. "Yeah, cool, right! It's like she's there one moment, and the next she's gone. And sometimes you don't even notice she's there! Kinda like coach Sylvester!"

Brittany then leaned closer to Quinn, and put her hand to her ear conspiringly.

She whispered: "_I'm pretty sure Santana is, like, Sue's karate kid, y'know?"_

Quinn was sure she didn't know, but before she could respond the bell rang.

"Oh no!" Brittany's face suddenly went from solemn to panicked. "Ms. Bailey told me she'd fail me if I ever got to class late again!" and she ran off.

Quinn stood in the hallway for a moment longer before finally going to class as well.

_What was that all about?_

* * *

As she entered her history classroom, she saw that she actually wasn't too late, which was pretty amazing seeing as she had just been mind blown by Brittany.

_Karate kid... what?_

She moved to her usual second row seat out of instinct and sat down next to Mercedes, when she noticed that Santana was actually sitting behind her to her right.

_Did I have this class with San? But I've been in it all semester and I've never sat with her… _

She wanted to stand up and sit next to the Latina, but at that moment the teacher burst in with the words "POP QUIZ!", and Quinn decided to quickly focus on the test rather than on the mystery girl.

After an hour of complete boredom and tiring her brain with stupid questions about the industrial revolution, Quinn was pretty literally shocked awake when the bell rang.

She had only started putting her stuff in her bag when she saw a flash of red strut out the door.

_Santana?_

She quickly threw the rest of her stuff in her bag, ignoring Mercedes and rushing after the Latina.

"Hey, Santana!" She shouted, and – kind of to her surprise – the Latina actually stopped and turned around with her usual eyebrow-and-smirk.

"What's sticking up your butt, Fabray?"

Quinn chuckled. This was the Santana she was used to. Why was she even worried?

"I see you haven't changed. But anyways, what's going on with you? We haven't talked in forever!"

"Missing me already, are you?" Santana smirked and shifted the books in her arms a bit. Her eyes stayed focused on Quinn's face, and Quinn just rolled her eyes in response.

"Yeah, yeah, I call it belated baby-hormones. Seriously, though, wanna go to the Lima Bean later on?"

Santana thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, sure, whatever. See ya after class then!"

And before Quinn could say anything else, Santana was gone, and Quinn couldn't even see her in the hallway anymore.

_Oh, a ninja. I get it._

She went on to her next class, happy about how things had gone. They had talked, Santana had been her usual self, and they were going out later. Santana had even said "see you after class."

_Wait… After class? What about lunch?_

Her thoughts went to Santana once again, until the math teacher stepped into the classroom and she had to conjure up her algebra-skills.

* * *

She was waiting at Santana's locker now. Classes were over, and like the Latina had predicted in the morning, Quinn hadn't seen her anymore indeed.

She thought back to lunch. The glee club was sitting at their table, except of course the football guys, who sat at their own, more popular table. Brittany and Artie sat with the club, of course, but Santana was nowhere in sight.

When Quinn started looking for her, she saw the Latina sit at the Cheerio table, sometimes joining in on conversation, her smirk plastered on her face the entire time.

"Hey", Quinn asked the rest of the glee club, her eyes still trained on the cheerio, "does any of you think Santana is acting weird or something?"

The others just shrugged.

"I mean, why isn't she sitting with us anymore?"

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Q, I told you yesterday. You know she never liked us, she just put up with us for Brittany. I'm betting she's just trying to make something out of her senior year. Cheerios are probably a lot more fun for her to be with than us, 'losers'."

But Quinn didn't exactly agree with her. Fine, it was usually Britt who dragged Santana to their table, and she looked grumpy a big part of the time, but she would laugh, genuinely _laugh_ a lot too. Right now, all she could see was Santana's smirk, but no smiles or – genuine – laughter.

"Besides," Quinn looked up as Mercedes went on, "she was never _really_ a part of our group, right?"

Quinn frowned at that. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know…" Mercedes didn't look too sure under Quinn's scrutinizing glare, so Rachel chipped in.

"Quinn, I think what Mercedes here is trying to say, is that Santana never really made any attempt to fit in. She's quite mean the biggest part of the time, and always tells us how much she dislikes us, so I don't really think she even wants to fit into our little 'family', as I like to call it."

Quinn didn't know what to say now. She paused to recollect her thoughts.

"But, Rach,… I was mean to you all too. And so was Brittany, and the guys. Why do we all get to be a part of our family, but not Santana?"

Rachel seemed truly shocked by that, just like the rest of the group that was listening, and obviously didn't know how to respond, so this time Tina went ahead and helped her out.

"It's not like she's not _allowed_ to become a part, Quinn. She just… never said she wanted to. But if she did-", she quickly continued when she saw that the blonde was about to interrupt her, "-she would be totally welcome, right guys?"

The others nodded and smiled. "Yeah, yeah sure!"

Quinn looked like she wanted to say something about that, but decided to drop it. After all, Santana really had never actually tried to fit in, so they did somewhat have a point.

Still… It seemed kind of sad, and as she continued to eat, she was already planning to ask Santana about it at the Lima Bean.

So here she was now, waiting for the girl to arrive. She was almost afraid Santana wouldn't show, when she heard something behind her.

"Ready, Q?"

She turned around and smiled at her former best friend.

"Yeah, let's go!"

They went to the parking lot, where they both decided to take their own car. Santana thought it would probably be more practical.

When they finally sat down with their coffees, Quinn pretty much froze. She really didn't know what to say. Luckily for her, but also to her surprise, Santana was the first to speak up.

"So, Q, did you see what Jew-Fro wrote on his blog this time?"

With that question, the two fell back in their old ways, laughing at what the creep had said, and at what the jocks had done to him – something involving a slushy-bucket – and just gossiping about people at school in general.

Quinn was still giggling about a particularly funny remark from Santana about Mister Schue's hair today, when Santana looked at her watch and scraped her throat.

"Well, it was really nice catching up, Fabray. We should do it again sometime, but I really got to go now. See ya at school!"

And with that, Santana was gone, and Quinn was left baffled.

They had fun, everything went the way it used to go before they became enemies, which was nice, but something was just… off about everything.

As she went home, Quinn wondered what had bothered her the entire time during their time together. She'd had fun, sure, Santana had been laughing and it looked genuine enough, so it wasn't that…

She kept thinking about everything during dinner, homework, and even sometimes while she was watching _Grey's_, but she just couldn't put her finger on it.

It was only when she was laying in bed and dozing off that she got it, and she shot up.

Santana, during the entire time they'd been talking that day, had never, not once, looked directly into her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Quinn was wide awake now, and started pacing around in her room to think about her 'discovery'.

_I'm right, aren't I? I mean, she always looked at my face and stuff… But now that I think about it, it's like she was looking through me rather than looking at me. Even earlier in the hallway… did we ever literally 'lock eyes'?_

She plopped down on the bed and stared at the dark ceiling of her room. She hadn't turned on the lights when she got up, because the moon was shining brightly outside, and she preferred thinking in the light of the moon. It felt… serene.

She looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table. 3:21 am. She slapped her hands over her eyes.

_Damn it, Santana! What is going on with you! I haven't had anything to do with her for months, and _now_ suddenly she doesn't leave my thoughts!_

Quinn sighed at the thought, and dropped her hands back down on the mattress, next to her head.

_It's not her fault though, is it? I should've been there for her. I should've noticed. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten this far if I had been there for her?_

Guilt was eating away at her by now. She really did wonder if it was her fault. After all, if she had just done something, or… she should just have noticed, right?

She tangled her fingers in her hair in frustration, groaning internally. A dozen _what-ifs_ went through her head.

What if something really was wrong with Santana?

What if something horrible had happened to the girl?

What if she'd been trying to get someone to help her, but nobody noticed?

What if she had needed _her?_

Quinn shut her eyes tight, only to open them wide later.

_No_, she thought, and she propped herself up on the bed, leaning her back against the headboard.

_I couldn't have seen this coming. It's like Britt said, she's a ninja. She's always been good at hiding what she feels, and if she doesn't want you close, you won't be able to get close. Maybe I should have noticed, but she obviously didn't want anyone to see… whatever was going on with her. All I can do, is find out what the hell is going on now, and be there for her, whatever the reason may be._

And with that determined thought, Quinn finally laid back down under the covers and fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, Quinn woke up with the same determination she went to sleep with.

She quickly got dressed and had breakfast, and left before her mother even had the chance to start a conversation.

Judy was left behind surprised by the girl's switching moods, but Quinn didn't think too hard about that. She was thinking up ways to find out about Santana.

She knew it wouldn't be easy. It was obvious Santana was trying to hide certain things, and confronting the girl head-on had never been a good way to get her to talk.

So Quinn figured she should start gathering information by talking to the people Santana was 'closest' with, which, sadly but luckily for Quinn, weren't a lot of people.

As she arrived at school, she immediately made a bee-line for the one place she'd never thought she would ever voluntarily enter again:

Sue Sylvester's office.

When she arrived at the door, she almost backtracked. After all, Sue didn't exactly have friendly relationships with _anyone_, and she didn't exactly care about anyone either, but Quinn quickly found her courage again.

After all, Santana spend a lot of time at Cheerios, with the coach, and it was like Brittany had said.

_Santana is like Sue's karate kid._

So she lifted her head up high, took a deep breath, and just as she was about to knock she heard a voice bellow from inside.

"Would you come in already, stretch-marks!"

Quinn was shocked, but quickly regained her composure and went inside.

Sue was sitting at her desk, and leaned back with an eerie smirk on her face as her former captain walked in.

"Finally. Now close the door and sit down, and make it quick. The stench of failure is already becoming too much for me to handle."

Quinn sighed and did as she was told. The woman obviously hadn't changed.

Coach took off her glasses and put her hands together on her desk.

"Now then, to what do I owe the _dis_pleasure of your presence? And please don't tell me you're pregnant again, because if that is the case I might just have to grab a bucket in advance. To vomit in disgust."

Quinn rolled her eyes. She wanted to make a snappy remark, after all, coach didn't own her anymore, but for the purposes of her 'investigation', she couldn't really afford to be on the woman's bad side.

"Don't worry coach, everything is fine. With me, that is." She sat up a bit straighter and looked Sue in the eyes, to show she was serious. "I'm more worried about… Santana"

Quinn looked at Sue's face, expecting to find shock, or some type of confusion, but instead she was very surprised by what she got.

Instead of any type of confusion, coach's face contorted in an angry frown, and her lips pressed together in a tight line. Quinn herself was really shocked by her reaction, but was broken from her stupor when coach started talking.

"Really? So we're concerned about Santana, now, huh? Wow, I. am. Genuinely. Amazed." She started clapping her hands in applause, and Quinn really didn't understand what the hell was going on now. "So you're finally noticing huh? Trying to make up for your and that gleek club's failure? How _truly_ moving."

Quinn frowned. She didn't really understand what this was about, but she refused to let coach distract her.

"I don't… Yes, I'm worried! She's my best friend! How do you know, did she say anything, or-?"

She was interrupted by coach.

"Oh, your best friend, is she?" the woman got up and leaned across her desk. "When's the last time you talked to her? Or even looked at her, huh? Oh yes-" she quickly went on when she saw Quinn try to interject, "I know you went to the Bean with her yesterday. Feeling proud now? Like you've done your job and can ditch her again? Well newsflash, _Barbie_-" she leaned down even further, her voice dropping to a growl. "That's not enough. You thought you'd be 'charitable' and hang out with her to make yourself feel better, so that you can go back to ignoring her?"

Sue was almost shouting now, anger apparent in her eyes, but when she saw the way Quinn's were tearing up, she took a deep breath and sat down again.

"C-coach… I -I didn't… I wouldn't…" Quinn had tears running down her face by now. The guilt she had been feeling earlier came back full throttle.

Coach shook her head but didn't say anything. She probably felt satisfied with how the girl reacted.

The younger blonde wiped away at her eyes, and looked back up to her former coach.

"What's happened to Santana, coach?"

Sue sighed and looked down. The office remained silent for a while.

"Please, coach, I promise I'll do better. I know I've ignored her and I'm sorry about that, really, but I honestly want to make things right again!"

Coach nodded and looked up again.

"I know, Q. It's not entirely your fault, or of the entire _Glee_ club. Sandbags herself has been working really hard to avoid people, in any way possible."

Quinn nodded. "Rushing through the hallways and not making eye contact, yeah, I know."

Sue shook her head. "Oh, but you don't know, Q. That's only a couple of things. She's build a fortress around herself by now, and nothing can come in or out. She looks and acts like the perfect Cheerio captain and friend, but she's…" She couldn't find the right words, but Quinn quickly shot in.

"She's not there… She's her own perfect shell…"

Quinn's eyes widened in understanding as she said it, and coach nodded as well.

They sat for a while, absorbed in their own thoughts. The bell had already rung, but neither of them moved.

"Q, you have to do something. I'm just a teacher, she won't confide in me, and I can't help her in any way either… Well, that's also because I'm Sue Sylvester of course. But you should do something. That girl isn't showing anything anymore, and even I'm beginning to get worried. And if this ever leaves this room I will have you shipped off to Antarctica, but… _please_, Quinn. Help Santana."

Quinn nodded dumbly. Coach motioned her hand to indicate she should leave, so the blonde got up and walked out in a daze.

She still didn't know what was going on, but one thing was certain; things were even worse than she had thought, and she didn't know what to do about them…

* * *

**A/N: Someone asked me if I have and updating schedule: well, I don't :P Normally I try to post bi-weekly, sometimes more, sometimes less, it all pretty much depends on the way my papers are progressing. This was a short one, btw, I know, but I just felt like writing this part, so there.**


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn was sitting in the auditorium now, her legs dangling off the stage, still in some kind of stupor.

She had no idea of what time it was, what class she was supposed to be in right now or anything. Everything that happened in Sue's office was still going through her mind.

_Sue asked me for help…_

That was the most shocking of it all. The part where Sue got angry at her was scary, and confused her, but she had gotten used to an angry Sue.

_A begging Sue, on the other hand…_

She kept replaying the moment in her head. Quinn had always known that Sue did somewhat care for her Cheerios, but she figured that the woman usually took control over them.

There would be two options: either she would kick you off the team, to give you some sort of wake-up call, or she would use her many connections to sneakily help you. Quinn knew the coach had used both methods on her, the first one being pretty obvious, and she was sure that Sue had helped her mother get rid of Russell Fabray, even though she 'had no proof'.

She sighed as she thought back to how Russell had suddenly and almost magically stopped bothering her and her mother after Sue had driven by on a motorcycle, together with a gang of Hell's Angels who just happened to have a former "legal" issue with the man.

Quinn smiled in herself. Coach had always held onto her story that she was "just passing by with some friends", that "she couldn't help it if they had issues with _Russell_", and that Quinn "had no proof whatsoever".

She laid down on the stage and closed her eyes. That had been one of the best moments of her life, even though she had been scared to death.

Sue had helped her, in her own crazy way, and Quinn would be eternally grateful for that.

_But now not even that Sue, with all of her crazy ideas, is able to help Santana._

Quinn frowned at the thought. If Sue said things were bad, they must be really awful if she can't even help her. But then again, I don't think even coach knows exactly what's wrong with Santana. She said she didn't confide in her because she was a teacher, so Sue must have just noticed a change in her behaviour, but mustn't have been able to do anything about her.

_Also, why isn't Santana kicked off the team? That doesn't make any sense, normally if Cheerios can't get themselves together, they're off. So either Santana is blackmailing Sue, which is nearly impossible, or…_

Quinn opened her eyes wide. Was Santana hiding away from everything and everyone so well, that not even Coach Sylvester knew what was going on exactly?

_It makes sense, I mean, it could be true. Santana has been avoiding everything and everyone, but… I should go ask Sue. Then again, though, she hasn't said anything so far, so I doubt she'll start talking now._

Quinn sat up again and gripped the edge of the stage hard, her knuckles turning white.

_What am I gonna do? Why am I so affected by this? Sue was right, I haven't cared about San for so long, and now suddenly I do? Ugh, I'm an awful friend! I care for Santana, I always have, I lo- like her so much, I always have, and I just dropped her, like it was nothing. What the hell am I going to do now!_

Quinn was gritting her teeth together as she was thinking, a combination of a sad and angry frown still on her face.

Suddenly, she jumped off the stage and rushed through the bustling hallway. It was lunch period already.

People backed away quickly when she passed. She might not have been a cheerio anymore, but that didn't mean she wasn't intimidating when she was like this.

She kept ignoring everything and everyone around her until she arrived at the cafeteria. She stormed in, but straightened herself out a bit when she noticed that people were obviously looking at her.

She pulled her sundress a bit straighter, lifted her head up high and 'calmly' walked towards the Glee table.

"Kurt. Blaine. Choir room in five."

She said it in a clear, low voice, her HBIC-mask plastered on to show that she wasn't kidding about this.

Kurt and Blaine looked shocked. She hadn't used that attitude for a while, but it still had the same effect on everyone – the sudden need to do everything she asked as quickly as possible, and Blaine did exactly that.

And even though he quirked his eyebrow questioningly, Kurt did the same and grabbed his stuff together quickly and followed after the blonde, who had already started going back.

When the two of them arrived at the choir room, Quinn had already placed two chairs separately. She crossed her arms menacingly and motioned for them to sit down, which the two boys did.

Kurt looked at her questioningly and was about to ask her something, when Quinn quickly shot in.

"Sorry guys, I was a bit… out of line just now…" She looked down bashfully. The adrenaline and determination she had felt moments earlier pouring out of her body.

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other, before Blaine grabbed her fidgeting hand.

"Hey, Quinn, what's wrong?" He looked at Kurt again when the girl refused to look him in the eyes.

"Quinn, what's wrong? Did something happen at home? You haven't been to class all day, and now you barge into the cafeteria like that… What happened?" Kurt tried to get her to look into their eyes as well, but the blonde kept looking down, tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh my god, don't tell me your pregnant again, because I couldn't-"

"It's Santana!" Quinn suddenly blurted out as she lifted her head to look at the other two, full-out crying now.

The guys looked at each other once again, and Blaine took out an extra chair to put in between theirs, motioning Quinn to sit down.

Kurt was pulled her in for a hug, and the blonde let every emotion she had been bottling up the past days out, crying against his shoulder.

Kurt and Blaine just let her cry, rubbing soothing circles on her back, and finally Quinn calmed down and started breathing more normally again.

She continued leaning into Kurt, though, glad that she finally found some support. She hadn't even noticed she needed to let it all out, but now that she had, she felt like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.

"Better?" Blaine asked as Quinn sat up a bit straighter, although they kept touching her affectionately.

Quinn nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, thanks guys… I'm sorry for dumping everything on you."

Kurt smiled back at her. "Well, I'm glad you got it out, but Q… What _did_ you just dump on us? Is something going on with Santana and you? What did she do to you that got you all riled up?"

Quinn's eyes widened in shock. "No! No, it's not that! She didn't do anything wrong! She didn't do anything, that's the whole point. And if anything did something wrong, it's me, 'cause I've been a lousy friend and too self-centred to even notice something was wrong, and-"

Her rambling was quickly interrupted by Kurt lifting up his hand, and she took a deep breath as he talked.

"Okay! Okay, we get it. It's not Santana's fault, she's… the victim?"

The blonde nodded. "Sort of… I'm not sure."

Blaine looked at her in surprise, his hand still on her shoulder.

"Well… What do you mean, you're not sure? Is something wrong or not?"

Quinn nodded hastily. "Yes! Something is definitely wrong, the problem is… I have no idea what. She doesn't show or tell anything!"

The guys looked at each other sceptically again, although they both were starting to get a little bit concerned. Kurt spoke up again.

"So… She doesn't show anything, she doesn't say anything, you don't _know_ of anything that happened, but… you're sure something's wrong?"

The blonde nodded again, although not as rapidly this time.

"That's the whole problem. Normally, when something is wrong in Santana's life, you'll notice it. She'll either be a lot bitchier, or entirely closed off, but now… she doesn't _do_ anything. She hardly ever bitches, she doesn't really talk to anyone anymore- and yeah", Quinn quickly went on before Kurt could say anything, "I know she still 'talks' to you guys and Britt and maybe others, but think about it. Doesn't something feel off to you?"

Kurt and Blaine were silent now, and from the frowns on their faces Quinn could see that they were thinking deeply about her question.

"Well… She doesn't have her usual snappiness, I guess. It's like she bitches, but just does it to…"

Quinn continued his sentence. "… go through the motions."

The two were thinking again, and Quinn could see that realisation was dawning on both of them.

Kurt's eyes widened. "Oh my god… She never stays late for glee, but also not for cheerios. She talks, but only about others, like clothing disasters…"

Blaine continued. "I can't remember seeing her in a real conversation with anyone in… weeks. Even last week, we went to the Lima Bean with her but it was like…"

"She wasn't there?" The boys looked up. They were thinking so deeply that they had almost forgotten Quinn was there too. They nodded, and Quinn sighed and looked down again.

"Yeah, I know. I noticed it when I took her to the Bean yesterday. And I noticed something else…"

She looked up sadly again, hoping that the guys wouldn't agree with her next statement, that it had been a one time thing.

"Did she… did you notice that she…" She took a deep breath. Why was this so hard to say, it didn't even seem that awful, but if she thought about it, it really was.

"When I was talking to her, she never, not once, looked into my eyes. Is that… Is it just me, or…?"

She didn't dare finish her question, but knew the two had understood it by the way their eyes were widening in realisation as well.

"Oh my god…" Kurt continued staring at his hands as he said it. "You're right… She doesn't, she hasn't… God, I knew something felt wrong!"

This time Blaine and Quinn looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean, Kurt? You noticed something?"

"Yes! Well, no, I mean, I didn't actually think something was horribly wrong with her – which I do now, by the way, thank you very much – it's more that I just thought something wasn't quite… right, you know? But I figured it was because she wasn't all that bitchy anymore to me even without Brittany, but now that I think about it,… She doesn't look me in the eyes, ever!"

The two others nodded, when Blaine suddenly spoke up as well.

"And she hasn't sung in ages either…"

Quinn and Kurt looked up in surprise again. He was right, she hadn't.

"But Satan loves singing!"

"Yeah, Blaine, maybe Rachel was always to fast for San, there's no way she doesn't sing anymore."

Blaine sighed. "Except there is… Think about it, last year, hell, last semester even ,she constantly tried to get solo's at least, now nothing! And she used to at least sing with everyone else in glee, or hum a song in the hallways, but she hasn't been doing that either!"

"Oh my god…" Kurt had said and thought it so many times in the past couple of minutes, but he just didn't know any other way to explain what he was thinking. "You're right…"

They all sat in silence for a few minutes, each consumed in their own thoughts, their shoulders slumped in defeat. They kept thinking about how they should have seen something was wrong, and looking for all indications at the fact that something _was_ obviously seriously wrong.

Quinn, however, had been doing this the past couple of days. She snapped out of her haze and got her determination back.

"We are going to fix this!"

She said it so suddenly and certainly that the other two's heads snapped up in shock.

"Yes, we will guys! We are her best friends. There's no need for us to be eating our hearts out in guilt or pity or whatever we are feeling right now. What's done is done, all we can do now is _fix it_!"

Kurt was still sitting frozen with the shocked expression on his face, but Blaine nodded his head at the blonde's words.

"Yeah, Quinn, you're right. We _are_ going to fix this! I don't know what's wrong exactly, but we'll just have to find that out! Kurt?"

At hearing his name, Kurt snapped out of his stupor as well.

"Yes! Yes, you're right." He slapped himself in the face a couple of times and sat up straight, crossing his legs and leaning closer to the other two.

"We need a plan of action. First point: get all the information as we can. Quinn, what do we _know_?"

Quinn and Blaine sat up straight as well, nodding.

"Well, we know that she has been 'off her game', not looking in people's eyes, not singing and not talking to anybody, and getting out of school as fast as she can, but without seeming suspicious…" she made the list with her eyes closed, envisioning every single hint of Santana's problems.

Blaine continued: "and we know it probably happened somewhere after the Christmas holidays, because I believe she was like this when school started again…"

Kurt nodded. "Right, so odds are that it has something to do with Brittany breaking up with her, right?"

"Yeah, but it can't have been only that though, right?" Quinn frowned as she said it, but she was pretty sure she was right. "I mean, I know she loved Brittany a lot, but if it were only that she would have come to me or you guys like she always used to do when something happened between her and Britt."

Blaine nodded, but Kurt suddenly looked up again.

"In that case... are we sure she changed only _after_ it happened?"

Quinn frowned. "What do you mean?"

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know, it's just that… The break-up might have triggered her, but maybe something happened before that? I just get the feeling that it must have been building up inside her-"

"-and that Brittany breaking up with her made her snap?" Blaine finished Kurt's sentence and looked up at Quinn to see what she thought.

The blonde nodded. "That makes sense, yes… But how will we find out? We can't ask her, she'll probably close herself in completely… Even Sue didn't know what's wrong with her."

"Really?" Kurt looked surprised at the news. Blaine wasn't all that shocked, but Kurt knew, that if coach couldn't do it, it was impossible for mere mortals like them.

"Fair enough, then we'll need to find another way. Do we have somewhere we can start our 'investigation'?"

Quinn wanted to start thinking about that, but Blaine immediately answered.

"How about that notebook she carries around with her?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Her notebook?"

Quinn was looking at Blaine in surprise, but Kurt was just nodding his head fervently.

"Yes, of course! She has it with her _all _the time, something important has to be in there!"

The girl still didn't get what they were saying. Santana had a special notebook? Had she ever noticed that?

"Wait," Quinn suddenly spoke up, "are you talking about that black little worn-out book?"

The two guys nodded, and Quinn finally remembered seeing Santana with it – only once though.

"But are you sure it's that important to her? I've only seen her carry it around once, I think, and it didn't really look that special to her."

Kurt and Blaine looked at her sceptically, the smaller boy wearing his regular lifted-brow expression.

"Seriously, Quinn? She looks into that thing every five minutes!" Blaine gave him a look, so Kurt quickly backtracked. "Okay, fine, not every five minutes, but pretty often anyways. Like, before and after classes, at lunch, before glee,…"

"Yeah, Kurt's right, Quinn. Not the five minutes-part, but she really does use that thing a lot. Sometimes she also writes in it, I think, but she always puts it away when you approach."

Quinn nodded. She hadn't noticed, but she figured that if the guys were right – and she believed them – that book would be _very_ important.

"Alright, that settles it then. Now all that's left for us to do, is to get our hands on that book."

The girl was enthusiastic and determined about it, but as soon as she had said that the two others visibly deflated. Quinn frowned.

"What is it? It's a perfect plan!"

"Yeah, perfect," Blaine said softly, "except that she never lets that thing out of her sight…"

The blonde sat down, her determination faltering, a frown on her face.

"I hadn't though of that…"

They seemed to fall back into their depressed state, but this time Kurt wouldn't have it.

"Oh hell no!", he said in a way that would have made Mercedes proud, "We are _not_ doing this again! It's time for action!"

The other two looked up in surprise. They had never really seen Kurt be this enthusiastic.

"Okay, honey, but how do you suggest we do that?"

Kurt was obviously thinking about it for a moment, when he suddenly shot up, clapping his hands and squealing.

"I got it!" He smiled at the other two, who were looking at him expectantly. "Cheerio practice!"

Blaine and Quinn were still staring at him with a dubious expression on their faces, so Kurt continued.

"Think about it! She wouldn't take it with her in practice, in case something happened to it. So she probably keeps it in her locker! We could have about 45 minutes to get that thing out, copy everything that's in there and put it back where we found it. It's perfect!"

"Of course!" Blaine shot up as well now, obviously happy about Kurt's idea and kissing him proudly. "You. Are a genius."

Kurt smiled back at him and they took a moment to look into each other's eyes dreamily, until they finally noted that they weren't alone in the room, and that Quinn hadn't said anything about the plan yet.

They turned to where she was still sitting down, their happiness fading a bit.

"Quinn?" Kurt asked, a bit nervous. "What do you think?"

Quinn kept still for a moment, leaving the guys to look a bit fearful. But then she smiled softly.

"I think we have ourselves a plan, boys…"

* * *

Quinn was walking through the hallways at the end of the day. After her 'meeting' with Kurt and Blaine, she had finally gone to class, but her mind was always on the plan they were going to execute today.

_It shouldn't be too hard, right? Wait until the cheerios are outside, sneak into the locker room, pry open the locker, copy the pages in the notebook on the cheerio copy machine, sneak back into the locker room, put the book back. Totally easy, stealing right under the nose of two freaking ninja's!_

She was working herself up a bit. She knew this plan was their only shot at ever getting the book, but there were really a lot of things that could go wrong. She felt nervous, but also giddy thinking about it.

When she met Kurt and Blaine by her locker, she knew that they too were pretty excited about the whole situation.

"Hey Quinn, you ready? Got everything? Oh wow, I'm so excited! This is gonna be awesome!"

He was nearly jumping up and down, flapping his hands in front of his face to cool off.

Quinn and Blaine smiled at his antics, but they knew they both felt exactly the same.

"Okay, so the cheerios are probably getting ready right now, but with coach's strict training schedule they will probably only be in the locker room for about 5 minutes, so Kurt, you just send us a message when they're all out there, got it?"

"Got it!" Kurt said seriously, but the excitement was still very much visible on his face.

"I will sneak in right after and give the book to Blaine. You will copy it as fast as you can and get it back to me."

"Right." Blaine nodded.

"Kurt, if Sue gives any indication of leaving, send us a text. Especially to Blaine. If she notices someone has used her copier, she will kill us."

He and Blaine nodded again, although the latter visibly paler.

"Okay, let's go then."

They nodded again, and Kurt went outside while Quinn and Blaine moved towards the cheerio locker room.

They inconspicuously placed themselves on the other side of the hallway, looking at what they appeared to think was an interesting poster.

The two of them pretended to be talking about the excitement that would be the upcoming pep rally, but Quinn was really glad when she felt her pocket buzz, because Blaine was acting visually nervous.

_The birds have left the cage – Kurt_

Quinn rolled her eyes, and Blaine stifled a nervous laugh when he read his own text.

"Wow, he really takes this spying thing seriously, doesn't he?"

Quinn just nodded, a smile playing on her face as well, and quickly shot a text back.

_Nice code, 007 – Q_

She immediately felt her phone buzz again, and chuckled as she showed it to Blaine.

_Stop laughing at me! This is serious! – K_

They shot each other one last amused look, before Quinn put her game face on and stepped into the cheerio locker room.

She quickly made her way over to Santana's locker, glad that there really was no one inside.

When she recognised the girl's locker, with her name next to the lock, Quinn couldn't help but pause a little as she looked at the locker next to hers. The locker that used to be her own.

She was getting lost in a nostalgia of the better times, her cheerleading times, when she felt her phone buzz again.

_You've been in there 5 min! Everything OK? – Blaine_

She quickly shot him an OK text back and went to work. Opening lockers was her hidden talent, and she was glad she had developed it back when she was 'dating' Puck.

In less than 30 seconds, Santana's locker was open and Quinn immediately saw the small black notebook that was lying underneath the girl's jacket. She quickly took it out, closed – but not locked – the locker and flew outside.

Blaine was almost glued against the door in worry by now, so when Quinn stepped outside, he nearly fell in.

"Ouch! Did you-"

Quinn didn't give him time to ask his question, and just moved towards the cheerio copying machine, not noticing the vibrations in her pocket.

When they got to coach's room, Quinn finally checked her phone as she opened the door, which fortunately wasn't locked.

Blaine was just standing next to her, when suddenly she pushed the booklet and her phone in his hands and shoved him through the door, closing it immediately after him.

The boy just stood there confused, peering through the shades of the windows to look at the blonde, who was standing with her back to the door.

Then he decided to read the text that was still visible on Quinn's phone.

_Evil Mama Bird has flown! – K_

* * *

**A/N: Writing fanfic: 1 hour = 4 pages. Writing thesis: 1 hour = - 400 words. I really wish fanfiction could help me graduate...**

**Also: thanks for the reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

Quinn was standing with her back against the door to Sue's office as she saw Sue walking towards her.

_Shit, shit, shit! This can't be happening! What the hell is she doing here? I hope Blaine isn't staring at me anymore, he seriously needs to get on with the copying, but I can't even look at him right now without looking suspicious. This calls for the Fabray-tear-charm._

She bowed her head down and made herself look sad.

"Well, well, Tubbers, to what do I owe the honour… again? Two times in one day, this has _got_ to be a new record. What the hell is happening to you, huh?"

Quinn looked up in tears.

"I'm sorry, coach, I just don't know what to do anymore"; she sobbed, and then she did the one thing she could think of in order to throw Sue off her game.

She threw her arms around the coach's waist and started crying into her shoulder.

Blaine saw it through the door, and he was apparently as shocked as Sue was, judging by the look on her face.

He finally snapped out of his shock when Quinn turned their bodies so that she could look through the window, and she gave him a meaningful glare, pretty much saying that she had not sacrificed herself so that he could stare at her.

When Blaine finally went to work, Quinn focused on Sue again. The woman was still frozen in shock, and obviously out of her comfort zone.

_Perfect_, thought Quinn with a small smirk as she pushed her crying to the extremes.

She loudly started sobbing about how it wasn't fair, and how Sue was the only one who could help her, and at that moment something apparently snapped in the coach, and she grabbed a hold of Quinn's shoulders and pushed her to arm's length, her eyes still widened in shock.

She was about to say something in response to Quinn's weird behaviour, but was cut short by the blonde ex-cheerio herself, who had fully turned on the Fabray-magic now.

She looked at Sue with big puppy eyes full of tears, and just wiped them away with her hand as she 'suddenly got angry'.

"I bet you're happy now, huh? Are you _happy_, coach?"

Sue looked like she obviously had no idea what Quinn was talking about, and the students that had stopped whatever they were doing clearly didn't have a clue either.

"Everything is so _fucking_ perfect for you, isn't it? _So_ easy!" No one had any idea what she was talking about, and neither did Quinn, but that didn't matter right now. She just had to get Sue's attention away from the door.

So Quinn herself decided to do a 'Sue Sylvester'; she went on a complete rampage in the hallway, tearing down posters, running after other students, throwing their books down, pushing them into lockers, whilst still screaming at the coach how _fucking_ perfect everything must be for her.

Sue was still in complete shock, but was by now finally moving away from her office to grab Quinn and stop her, because even though she liked a good rampage, this was going too far even for her.

While Sue was grabbing the blonde and screaming at her, the girl was watching the door to her office anxiously, hoping that Blaine would come out.

_Come on, he should be ready by now, right? What's taking him so long, I can't do anything anymore now! Get. Out. Of. There!_

When coach started pulling the girl towards her office, Quinn was really getting worried.

_No, no, no! Blaine, get out!_

Sue was still yelling at her about what the hell was wrong with her, but Quinn hardly even listened. He had to get out of there now, or else they'd be caught. And being caught using Sue's copier to copy private notes was a no-go, even if she had asked Quinn to help Santana.

Suddenly, when they were only a couple of feet away, she saw the doorknob move, so she quickly threw herself down on the floor.

Sue was beside herself with anger now, and turned around to scream some more insults at the younger blonde.

Quinn, however, couldn't care less. Just as coach's back was turned, she saw Blaine running out of the office with some papers in his hand.

_Score!_

Quinn quickly stood up, apologised and ran off before Sue could say anything else. She knew the coach wouldn't let this go that easily, but right now she had other things to do.

She quickly ran after Blaine towards the locker room. He was waiting by the door, and wanted to say something when he saw her, but she just shook her head.

"No, no time for talking, just give me the book, we don't have a lot of time to put it back!"

Blaine still looked shocked and like he wanted to say something, but Quinn quickly grabbed the book and went in, making a beeline for Santana's locker.

She immediately opened it, glad she hadn't locked it earlier, and threw the book underneath the jacket again.

She wanted to sigh in relief when she finally closed the locker, but froze completely when she heard something.

"Whatcha doing, Quinn?"

The blonde turned around slowly, to see the source of the voice.

"D-doing? I'm not doing anything, Britt… What are _you_ doing here, anyways? Don't you have training?"

Brittany looked at her with a quizzical expression, and showed Quinn the bottle in her hand.

"I forgot my water, and figured I could come an get it, seeing as coach was gone. What are _you_ doing here, Quinn you're not a cheerio anymore. Unless…"

Quinn swallowed. How much had the taller blonde seen or heard? Did she see her in Santana's locker?

She kept her face calm though, waiting for what Brittany would say, and hoping she'd figure out a good excuse.

Brittany was still looking at her with a puzzled frown on her face, but suddenly she jumped up with a smile and enveloped Quinn in a hug.

"I got it, I got it! You want to become a cheerio again, right Q? That's what it is, right? You were looking at your old locker!"

Quinn breathed a sigh of relief in Brittany's arms. _Thank god for Brittany's positive attitude._

"Sorry Britts, I'm not going to become a cheerio again. But I did come here because I miss it, a lot", she quickly added when she saw Brittany deflate.

The tall blonde went from sad to happy again in no time.

"Oh, yeah, I get that, it's okay, Q, you're always welcome in cheerio wonderland!"

She hugged the girl again, and quickly went back to training.

Quinn watched her leave, and nearly sank down on the bench in relief.

_Thank god that wasn't Santana, I don't think she would've taken 'nostalgia' as a good reason to break into her locker._

She quickly checked herself and hurried outside. She had gotten lucky once, but you never know who will come in next.

When she stepped outside, Kurt and Blaine were waiting for her on the other side of the hallway, looking extremely worried. Blaine spoke first.

"How did it go? Did she say something? Why didn't you just wait?"

Quinn frowned. "Wait, you _knew_ Britt would be in there? Why didn't you just tell me!"

Kurt rolled his eyes while Blaine just threw his hands up in frustration.

"I tried to tell you, remember? Before you just rushed in there. Kurt had sent us a message, saying that Brittany went in.

"What, but I didn't notice-" she looked at their faces and realisation dawned on her. She had given her phone to Blaine. She slapped herself in the face.

"Oh god, I'm stupid."

The other two nodded seriously, but quickly started smiling and linked their arms with her as they walked through the hallway towards the parking lot.

"It's okay, Q, everything worked out, and I have had enough excitement to last me a lifetime. Let's just go home and check out the results, okay?"

Quinn smiled with him and followed them to their cars. They had decided that they would go to her house to look into the notes, so the guys took their own cars and followed her.

When she walked inside ,Quinn was happy to notice that her mother was gone for the evening, something about a friend coming back to town, which was perfect for their plans.

She led the guys into the kitchen.

"Want something to drink? Eat maybe? Something to get your strengths back from all that meticulous spying?"

The two laughed heartily and accepted a drink as Quinn pulled out some cookies as well.

They laughed and talked a bit more about the excitement of the afternoon – Kurt was particularly impressed by Quinn's bitch fit – and gossiped about who Kurt had seen mess up in the cheerleading practice.

At some point, though, Blaine couldn't handle it anymore.

"Okay, enough about that. We worked so hard to get our hands on this notebook, and I for one am dying to look into it, but the two of you don't seem that interested.

Quinn and Kurt looked at each other and sighed. The blonde softly spoke up.

"You're right, Blaine, we are trying to avoid the notebook."

"But, why? This was our plan, right, get the notebook, and discover what secrets Santana is hiding behind her masquerade?"

Kurt answered this time, and took Blaine's hand into his own.

"True, sweetie, but that's the whole point. The plan and its execution were a lot of fun, and we were excited as well, but… it's not right."

Blaine looked shocked. "Wait, so _now_ you suddenly decide that it wasn't right for us to steal this book? Because then why di-"

"No, no, Blaine! That's not what we're trying to say. It's more that it's not right for us to have fun about it. It's like we've forgotten that this is really a serious situation!"

Blaine looked puzzled. "Why- What do you mean?"

Quinn sighed. "We had fun, it was exciting, and we got what we came for. But now comes the real deal, Blaine. What we find in that book might not be fun, and amusing, but awful. We are about to try and find out why Santana hasn't been talking to anyone, why one of our best friends hasn't looked anyone in the eyes for the past weeks."

Blaine looked down and squeezed Kurt's hand a bit. He hadn't thought about it like that.

"Quinn and I just wanted to relish the fun for as long as we could, because we don't know what we will find, but I'm pretty sure we won't like it one bit. No one likes to read about how their friends are in pain, or whatever Santana is feeling right now."

Blaine nodded in understanding. "Sorry, guys, I've been a bit too… thoughtless about this."

The other two smiled at him.

"Don't worry about it, Blaine, you have every right to be curious." Quinn said, putting a hand on his shoulder as well. She looked at Kurt, who nodded.

"I think now's the time to look into these copies we made."


	7. Chapter 7

They were leaning closer towards Blaine as he rummaged through his bag.

Quinn and Kurt sighed deeply. They didn't know what they would find in here, and weren't sure they really wanted to know. But this was the only way. Whatever was going on with Santana, the Latina would never tell them herself, so this was their only hope of getting to help her in any way.

Blaine pulled out a few crumpled pages, and Kurt looked at him accusingly. The boy just shrugged.

"What? I was in a hurry."

He put them on the table. Contrary to what Quinn had expected, The pile wasn't very big at all.

"How many pages are there? Are you sure you printed them all?"

Blaine nodded. "Six pages, and yes I'm sure. She apparently only used the middle few pages of the book, nothing else."

Quinn frowned. She wasn't sure _what_ she had expected exactly, but this wasn't it.

She thought the Latina would've used this book as a poetry or lyrics book to write down her deepest feelings. The blonde knew for sure that Santana had done that pretty often before. The dark-haired girl had booklets filled with painful poems and songs in her closet back at home.

This, however, was completely different. She was pretty sure they wouldn't find any poems in here, and it bothered her.

_What happened to the emotional Santana I knew?_

She was lost in thought about this, when she finally noticed that the other two were staring at her expectantly.

"Sorry, I'd just expected it to be songs. She used to write those all the time when she had something on her mind, but I guess she didn't do that this time."

The two others nodded and smiled sadly. They hadn't known this about Santana, but it made sense and it explained why Quinn was so quiet all of a sudden. Writing songs would have meant that Santana was trying to get over something. This seems to show that she wasn't even trying.

Kurt swallowed loudly. "So… Shall we look at the first page?"

Quinn nodded, and Blaine took the first copy and placed it in the middle of the table so that they could all see it.

It was a small notebook, so the page itself only took up a small part of the copied paper, and in the middle of the page were some words in capital letters.

* * *

_BITCH-FACE_

_For all people not in glee_

_Also in glee, unless: everybody singing and dancing = also dance and smile_

_Always for: Berry, Sugar, Rory, Joe, Finn._

* * *

They frowned. What was this?

"Blaine, get the next page", Quinn asked, without moving, her heat beating quickly.

_What the hell does this mean?_

* * *

_SMILE_

_Quinn/Brittany/Kurt/Blaine/Puck/Sam talks to you in person_

_When everybody else smiles in glee._

* * *

"What on earth is this?" Kurt asked, his eyes wide.

Blaine just shook his head dumbly, indicating that he had no idea either.

Quinn, however, clasped her hand in front of her mouth.

"_It's a manual_", she mumbled softly.

Kurt and Blaine had heard her though, and they looked at the pages again in shock.

"Blaine, next page," Quinn said, as she read through the words again. _This couldn't be true._

* * *

_SMIRK_

_Guys and girls that 'look good.' _

_Often in glee._

_Job._

* * *

"Bitch-face, smile and smirk… Her three trademark looks…" Kurt said quietly, as he read the small texts over and over again.

"It even says when she has to look like that… 'Smile when everybody in glee smiles'… It's like the foolproof way to pretend you're okay!" Blaine stood up roughly, and he himself wasn't even sure why he did that. He didn't know if he was angry, or sad, or frustrated, or scared, or…

Quinn just kept sitting down, staring at the pages in shock.

_Smile for Quinn and Brittany… Of course she would say that, we're the first ones to pry! Santana, what the hell is going on with you?_

She looked at the pages again, and found something that made her frown again.

"Guys?" She said, and the two others finally snapped out of their stupors and looked at her, Blaine taking his seat again. "Since when does Santana have a job?"

The other two looked at the last paper again and shrugged with a frown.

"I don't know, that's the first I've heard about that," Kurt said, putting his hand to his face in a thinking pose. "Maybe her parents set her up with a job? She is pretty spoiled, right?"

Quinn nodded at his words, but she wasn't too sure. She took a deep breath and looked at Blaine again.

"Three more pages, right? Let's go."

Blaine nodded quietly and put the next page in front of them.

* * *

_GLEE_

_Rachel: eye roll, eyebrow up or finger in throat. Manhands, Berry. Midget._

_Kurt: eye roll, smile, eyebrow up, Porcelain. Ladyface. _

_Quinn: smile, smirk, eyebrow up, Q, Tubbers. Stretch marks_

_Brittany: smile, smirk, laugh, B, Britt, NEVER STUPID_

_Finn: eye roll, glare, Frankenteen, Finnept. Manboobs._

_Blaine: smile, eye roll, Warbler. Bow ties._

_Sam: smirk, Trouty Mouth, Guppy Lips. Huge mouth._

_Mercedes: smirk, eyebrow up, Wheezy. diva._

_Puck: smirk, eye roll, glare. Puckster. Mohawk._

_Tina: eye roll, smile. Asian. Asian._

_Mike: eye roll, smirk. Other Asian. Asian._

_Artie: eye roll, smile, eyebrow up. Wheels. NO GETTING INVOLVED_

_Sugar: eye roll, glare, ignore. Not even nickname. Idiot._

_Rory: eye roll, glare. Irish. Can't talk._

_Joe: eye roll, glare. Teen Jesus. In Godsquad._

* * *

It took the three of them a while to get through this list, and their frowns appeared to grow deeper with every word they read.

Kurt was the first to speak up again.

"Oh my god! She has a manual on how she is supposed to deal with us without making us suspicious."

He sounded really angry as he said this, and Quinn and Blaine looked at him questioningly. Their shoulders had slumped as they read everything, and they felt more deflated than angry.

"Jezus, Satan! She has facial expressions for everyone, then nicknames, and then what she's supposed to make jokes about! This can't be real!"

The other two looked at the list again. They had figured it out already, but hearing Kurt say it again made it even worse.

"And you know what's the absolute _worse_ about it all?" He was walking around now, and turned in front of them, leaning on the table with his fists.

"That it actually _worked_! She has turned herself into a freaking flat character in a musical, and we have all just _bought_ it like freaking candy! How the hell did we only see her as a sarcastic girl who only smiled at her best friends? HOW?"

He was crying by now, and Blaine quickly got up to engulf him in a hug.

Quinn just continued to sit down and stare at the papers.

_Kurt's right… How the hell did I not notice what Santana was doing? I used to be able to see through her tough girl act all the time! But she's not using her tough girl act now, is she? She really planned this out, she planned out how she should hide everything she is underneath some type of perfect mask. How could we not have seen this?_

She was beating herself up in her head, and hadn't even noticed how hard her hands were clenching together until the two boys came up to her and took them in their hands.

She locked eyes with Kurt, who had a worried expression on his face.

Quinn just nodded to indicate she was fine, and swallowed her tears. There would be a time to cry later, she had to finish this first.

The blonde unlocked her right hand from Kurt's, and reached out for the last two papers, pulling out the first one.

* * *

_NEVER_

_cry_

_alcohol_

_talk to Sue_

_nice touch_

_EYES!_

* * *

They shook their head again in surprise. Santana didn't allow herself to cry, but that wasn't much of a surprise. Quinn was more surprised by the 'no alcohol'-part, but she did understand it. The Latina was a weepy drunk, and according to her first rule, she obviously wanted to avoid crying.

'_Talk to Sue'… Figures she knew about coach's need to help her cheerios. She was probably avoiding the woman like crazy_.

The final two points didn't make sense to her.

_Don't let anyone touch you nicely? So you won't break down, or is there another reason, Santana?_

The last one, EYES, was written in large at the bottom of the page. This showed that Quinn was right about her lack of eye contact, but it didn't explain it.

_What is up with her and eyes?_

She looked up to see that Kurt and Blaine had probably come up with the same ideas, and so she finally reached for the last page, hoping this one would be less awful than the previous ones.

Unfortunately for her, though, she couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

_WEEK_

_Monday: 7am: wake up – 8am: glee – classes (bell) – lunch at cheerio table – classes (bell) – glee – house - eat – 9pm: work – 4am: sleep_

_Tuesday: 6am: wake up – 7am: cheerios – classes (bell) – lunch under bleachers – classes (bell) – house - homework - eat – 9pm: work – 4am:sleep_

_Wednesday: 7am: wake up – classes (bell) – lunch at cheerio table – classes (bell) – glee – house - eat – 9pm: work – 4am: sleep_

_Thursday: 6am: wake up – 7am: cheerios – classes (bell) – lunch in auditorium – classes (bell) – house – homework – eat – 9pm: work – 4am: sleep_

_Friday: 7am: wake up – 8am: glee – classes (bell) – lunch at cheerio table – classes (bell) – glee – house – eat – 9pm: work – 6am: sleep_

_Saturday: 8am: wake up – 9am: work out – shower - 12: eat at house – 1pm: homework – 6pm: eat – 9pm: work – 6am: sleep_

_Sunday: 8am: wake up – 9am: study – shower - 12: eat at house – 1pm: study– 6pm: eat – 9pm: work – 5am: sleep_

* * *

They looked at each other with deep frowns on their faces again.

Santana's day looked like it was planned out to the minute, but especially her nights shocked them.

_Why the hell does Santana work every night?_


	8. Chapter 8

They just sat in silence, still looking at the final page, not caring about what time it was, or how long they had been sitting there.

Quinn swallowed audibly. This was really not what she had expected.

_She works every single night. She has like only a few hours of sleep per day, what the hell is wrong with her? How can she still be functioning? Why does she have to work this much? Why don't I know anything about this?_

Her mind was tolling, and she was starting to feel pretty sick by now.

Kurt and Blaine looked pale as well, and they pretty much had the same things going on in their minds.

Blaine was finally the first one to try and break the tense silence.

"Well," he tried, "so much for a fun discovery, huh?"

Kurt's head snapped up angrily, and he wanted to say something about how inappropriate the remark was, when he felt Quinn's hand on his arm.

She just shook her head, and gave a sad smile.

"Tell me about it. This was _not_ how I wanted this day to end. I'm sorry I dragged you guys into this, now we're all down because off me…"

Kurt's anger faded, and he grabbed the blonde's hand that was still on his arm.

"I'm glad you did, though. Fine, if you hadn't Blaine and I could have had a fun night out looking at Project Runway and laughing at their mistakes," Quinn smiled a little at his admission, she knew he just said it to make her feel a bit more at ease, but at least it was working.

"But, anyway, I am happy you did that, even if we all feel like Rachel Berry when she hears there will be a law against musicals. We are Santana's best friends, well, besides Brittany, but seeing as I'm afraid she had something to do with this, I don't really think we can count on her anymore…"

Quinn swallowed. She knew Brittany wasn't really to blame for whatever had happened to Santana, but she did still feel a bit angry at it all.

_Brittany _had_ her, San had given everything she was to that girl, and she just threw it away like it was nothing! If things had been different!..._

Her anger quickly disappeared. This was something that she shouldn't even think about.

_She wouldn't have been better off with me… I've been a train wreck these past years, and even now everything is fine again I've just forgotten about her… You don't do that to someone you lo-… care about, right?_

She focused on the guys again. Blaine was talking now.

"… which we all find hard, of course, but I don't even want to think of how had it must be for Santana! I mean, we're already almost in tears just looking at a silly notebook that doesn't even have any answers, what won't it be like for her! We should have been there for her, but we weren't, so the most important thing is that we have to be there for her now!"

Kurt nodded fiercely, Quinn just shook her head.

"How though?" She said it so softly, that the two boys looked at her with worried expressions. "How do you help someone who doesn't want any help?"

She just couldn't take it anymore. The situation seemed so… blank. She wanted to help the girl, but she just couldn't… she didn't know how… She was feeling so many things at the same time, she couldn't even understand her own emotions, let alone anyone else's…

Blaine looked at her sympathetically, but Kurt put his face right in front of hers and forced her to look into his eyes.

"So you give up?", he asked sternly, glaring at her more fiercely than she had ever seen before.

"You're going to just let her sink into oblivion? You're going to leaver her again? You're going to-"

"No!", Quinn shouted, a look of horror on her face. "I would never…! I don't want…"

Her shoulders were slumping again at the end, but Quinn grabbed them quickly.

"Then you will stop thinking about the past and start thinking about the future. We can't undo what has happened to her, but we can at least _try_ to make her the happy, bitchy and caring Satan we all love."

Quinn chuckled at those last words. Kurt was right. Now was the time, and whether Santana liked it or not, they were going to help her, if it was the last thing they did.

She wiped away her last tears and nodded at the two boys.

"You're right." She took a deep breath and talked louder again. "You two are absolutely right. We are going to do something about this, starting _now_!"

At that, she quickly stood up and ran into the hallway.

Kurt and Blaine were left in the kitchen, and looked at each other questioningly.

"Um, Quinn, sweetie?", Blaine asked hesitantly as the two followed her. "What exactly are we starting right now?"

Quinn was already putting on her jacket.

"We're going up to her house to confront her. It's still only-" she looked at her watch "-just past 7pm at the moment, so according to her schedule she'll still be home. We can confront her there!"

The two guys looked at each other quizzically, and Kurt asked her with his eyebrow raised:

"Quinn, are you sure we should do this right now? Maybe we should take a break, let everything sink in. Santana won't be gone tomorrow…"

"Won't she?" Quinn stopped her ministrations for a minute to look fiercely into Kurt's eyes. "We don't _know_ that, Kurt. Maybe nothing will happen to her overnight, an maybe you can say that she's been fine the past months without us knowing anything, but another minute of us not helping is like another minute she floats further away from us."

Kurt swallowed and took a shaky breath.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I just…"

Quinn just nodded. She knew what he had meant.

Blaine quickly handed him his coat and went for the door.

"We'd better get going then, right?"

Kurt thankfully grabbed his coat, and the three of them left the house in a hurry, a serious look on their faces.

* * *

When Blaine pulled up in front of Santana's house, their rush seemed to have ended, and they just sat in the car for a few more minutes.

They were staring at the house. The lights were on, which obviously meant someone was home at least. Quinn couldn't see any cars, but she figured they were in the garage, like usual.

She took a deep breath and looked at the other two, rising a bit from the back seat..

"So…"

Kurt nodded faintly. He looked like he was about to pass out. Luckily Blaine was able to keep it together.

He gave a fierce nod. "Let's do this."

The three stepped out of the car and into the smooth evening breeze. The way up to the front door, Quinn's thoughts were racing.

_What do we say to her? 'Hey, Santana, we stole your notebook and couldn't help but notice something was wrong?' 'Hey, San, working tonight?' 'Hey, why do you refuse to look into our eyes? Does it have something to do with Brittany?'_

Blaine obviously noticed her discomfort and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. We'll just ask her if she's alright and go from there, okay?"

Quinn nodded and took another deep breath. They had arrived at the door. Blaine rang the bell.

As they waited, you could almost hear their heartbeats ramming against their chests. Quinn was panicking on the inside, but forced her face to stay calm. She had to, she couldn't break down if Mr. or Mrs. Lopez opened the door.

When they finally heard a lock being turned on the inside, they looked at each other and nodded, bracing themselves.

However, what they saw was not what they had expected…

In stead of any of the three Latin people that were supposed to live there, a blond-haired man opened the door.

The three kids frowned and looked at each other. Who the hell was this?

Quinn spoke up first, her voice cracking at the beginning.

"Hi, um, I'm sorry to bother you. Aren't Mr. and Mrs. Lopez in?"

The man looked at her quizzically, and soon a brown-haired woman joined him and gave them the same expression. They looked at each other as well.

"Well, I'm sorry," the man said, "but the Lopezes don't live here anymore…"

The three opened their eyes widely in shock.

_What?_

The couple obviously noticed their discomfort, so the woman decided to be enthusiastically polite.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you must think us so rude! I'm Mary Smith, this is my husband Wilbur Smith. We just moved here a couple of months ago!"

She held out her hand for them to shake, which only Quinn did out of habit, and only half-heartedly.

"When?", she asked, earning her a confused look from both the woman and the man. "When did you move in here exactly?"

"Oh!", the woman's face cleared up again, "Well, that must've been in… November last year, was it? Yes, November."

Quinn noticed Kurt and Blaine look at each other, but she kept her focus on the couple in front of her.

"And… did they perhaps tell you where they were moving to?", she asked, hoping that the couple would be able to give them their new address.

Mary shook her head, but Wilbur nodded. "I think I hear Manuelo mention that they were moving to Florida. They had relatives there or something?"

This shocked the three even more? _Florida? But why was Santana still going to school here?_

She wanted to ask about this, but Kurt quickly shot in.

"Um, are you _really_ sure about that? I mean, their daughter is still going to school here!"

Now it was the couple's turn to look shocked.

"Daughter? No, no, we must be talking about a different Lopez family now! The ones who lived here before us, didn't have a daughter!"

Quinn got angry now. She was starting to suspect something, and she didn't like it one single bit.

"Maybe they just forgot to mention her to you?", she said through gritted teeth.

The man pondered this for a minute, but then shook his head. "No, I remember he specifically said he didn't have a daughter. And when they showed us the rooms, only their room had a bed and pictures, all of the two of them and some old lady, his mother, that they were taking to Florida with them. The other two rooms were an office and one completely empty room, no bed, no nothing. I'm pretty sure you've got the wrong address, kids, sorry."

Quinn wanted to snap at him, and almost started to move forward, when Blaine suddenly grabbed her arm and smiled subtly at the couple.

"Thank you very much, you're probably right, we're sorry to have bothered you."

And before the couple even had time to respond, he had dragged a struggling Quinn and a frozen Kurt back to his car.

As soon as they all got in there, Quinn started crying hysterically.

_Now what?_


	9. Chapter 9

Quinn kept on crying as Blaine drove, and Kurt was in the backseat with her, squeezing her shoulder, but judging by the way he was staring in front of him it was obvious that he was seriously shocked too.

The three of them said nothing to each other as they continued to Quinn's house. Even Blaine didn't even feel like trying to keep them in good spirits now. He had gotten them out of there, but now that that was done, his thoughts were running freely as well.

When he stopped the car in the blonde's driveway, none of them moved.

They weren't even sure why they were reacting so strongly. They knew her life had become some kind of sad mystery, but with this it was like… she never existed. Like all memories they had of her weren't true, like she was gone forever.

It was one thing for her to be drawn-back, if they at least knew she would be safe at home at night. But now…

"_We're losing her…_" Kurt mumbled, and at his words Blaine looked down sadly, but Quinn stopped crying and sat up a bit straighter.

"_No_… No", she croaked, her voice strained by her crying.

The two others snapped out of their depressed daze and looked at her.

"I am NOT losing her. I refuse to loose her! I've lost a lot of things, and I'm _not_ losing her too!"

Blaine just sat there looking at her from the front seat, with an empty look on his face, but Kurt shook his head.

"How though? I get that you're sad about losing your best friend, so am _I_… It just seems as if everything is too messed up!"

This time it was Quinn's turn to shake her head.

"I know", Kurt looked at her frowning and wanted to say something, but Quinn continued. "I know it looks extremely bad right now, trust me, I do. But Santana is my best and oldest friend. I've pushed away from me last year, even though she needed me, but I plan on doing everything I can to make that right again. No matter what it takes."

Kurt nodded dumbfounded, tears running down his cheeks.

Quinn took his nod as an okay, and put her hands on the two guys' shoulders.

"Just go home and sleep, guys. Tomorrow's another day. We'll get her back, you'll see.

And with those words she got out of the car and went into her house. She was still sad, but she wouldn't cry anymore. Her mind was set. Tomorrow, she would confront Santana, one way or another.

* * *

The next morning found a very determined Quinn Fabray walking the corridors of McKinley.

Today was a Friday, and Quinn had learned Santana's schedule by heart. Not only her notebook's schedule, but also her real one, so Quinn would know when Santana would be in what corridor.

She had an entire plan worked out. Quinn really did want to confront he with everything today, and force the Latina to get angry or emotional or anything at her, but she had to wait for the right moment to do so, of course. No use in jumping the girl simply in the hallway, where she could either block down completely or run away.

No, this time Quinn wouldn't let her run. She really wanted Santana to open up to her, and she would take whatever she could get. The blonde was even prepared to take a few hits from an angry Santana, if that was what it took.

First that day was glee. She was going to start then. No song though, that wouldn't really work on the Latina. Just asking the girl to lunch at the auditorium with her should do the trick, she figured.

When she walked into the choir room, only Rachel and Finn were there already, the first ones as usual.

When they saw Quinn walk in, they both smiled but gave her a quizzical look. Rachel – of course – was the first one to say something.

"Well hello, Quinn, you are here early. Is everything alright?"

Quinn rose an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm fine. Is there a reason why I shouldn't be?"

Rachel looked a little taken aback at her words, and tried to get some support from Finn, but he just sat there with his usual goofy grin.

"Well, no, not really, Quinn. It is merely that I saw you yesterday at lunch and you seemed a bit… out of it when you asked Kurt and Blaine to come with you, and I was just curious about what might have happened to get you so… worked up, so to speak."

Quinn rolled her eyes at the long speech, but smiled when she answered. It was nice to know she had friends who cared about her.

"Everything's fine now, Rachel. I had a small problem, but the two of them were able to help me."

As she said that, the rest of the club came into the room, and sat down in their respective places, close to each other.

Santana came in last and immediately went for the last row, as usual. Quinn quickly said her goodbyes to Rachel and Finn and sat next to the Latina.

Santana gave her a surprised frown, but quickly checked herself and smiled at the blonde.

"What's up, Q? Sick of Berry's constant ranting?"

Quinn smiled back at her, although at the same time feeling a tug in her chest.

_Santana 101. Smile at Quinn. Make a sarcastic remark about Rachel. Avoid eye contact._

Now that she knew about the notebook, the blonde could almost see how mechanical Santana was being. Every move seemed to be orchestrated and was completely in accordance with the way she was apparently supposed to act.

From her place in the back row, Quinn could see Kurt and Blaine walking in. The two guys still looked a bit sad, but when they saw Quinn sitting next to Santana, they smiled at her in encouragement, before they themselves went to sit down.

Quinn subtly turned back to Santana, who was now almost invisibly fidgeting with a rubber band.

The blonde frowned at that.

_Santana's nervous… Why, though? She didn't seem this nervous when I last talked to her…_

Quinn thought some more about this, still secretly observing the girl, when she noticed that the Latina was casting glances in her direction.

_Wait, she's nervous because of me! My seeking contact with her during glee was not part of her big schema! This is good! I mean, 'nervous' might not really count as an emotion, but I'll take anything right now!_

When there still was no sign of Schue, Quinn took a decision and fully turned herself to Santana, immediately noticing how the girl suddenly stopped fidgeting and put a smirk on her face.

Quinn smiled back at her. "So, I feel like it's been ages since we've really hung out."

Santana looked surprised for a moment, but quickly quirked an eyebrow at the blonde.

"You getting sentimental on me, Fabray? We went out for coffee two days ago!"

Quinn gave her a – fake – chuckle.

"Yeah, true, but I meant at school, you know? How about the two of us have lunch together today, huh?"

Santana's smiling mask stayed intact as Quinn said that, but when she spoke the blonde could notice she wasn't very keen on doing that.

"I'm sure that would be nice, Fabray, but I-I usually have lunch with the Cheerios on Fridays. You know, team captain and all."

Quinn smiled. "Of course I know, San, but they won't miss you if it's only one Friday, right? Just tell them you've got something better to do, and we'll have lunch together in the auditorium. What do you say?"

The blonde kept trying to look deeply in Santana's eyes, but the Latina was apparently fixated on her forehead. Finally, Santana rolled her eyes.

"Fine, let's have lunch at the auditorium. Just don't bring Berry – I'd like to have a calm and quiet lunch."

Quinn laughed quietly, but when Schuester came into the room she and Santana directed their attention to the front of the room. They didn't speak during the rest of the class, and Quinn could almost feel Santana tune the rest of the room out completely.

She didn't mind though. If she didn't have to talk to anyone, she'd have enough time to plan what she would say to the Latina over lunch.

* * *

When lunch period finally came around, Quinn was extremely nervous. She was glad the time for her big confrontation had finally come, but at the same time she was really dreading this moment.

Talking to Kurt during geometry hadn't exactly helped her calm down either though. They boy was more nervous than she was, and kept insisting he and Blaine should hide out somewhere in the auditorium, in case Santana brought Snixx out.

Quinn, though, wouldn't have that. She thought it would be better if she did this on her own. Santana was her best friend, and she hoped she could handle the girl better than most people. Kurt had conceded at that, but he did make her promise him to call when anything happened, bad or good, and Quinn had promised she would do so.

Honestly, though, she wasn't too sure that the Latina would be calmer with her. Santana had changed, and so had she. And even though she thought she knew everything about the girl, Quinn also knew that she had no idea what type of person she was going to be talking to later.

So here she was now, pacing across the stage.

"That a new dance you're practicing, Q?"

Quinn's head snapped up rapidly when she heard Santana's voice, and she was surprised to see that the Latina had already made it up the edge of the stage without Quinn ever noticing.

_Ninja…_ Quinn quickly thought, before sitting down next to her.

Santana was still looking at her questioningly, and Quinn finally got herself together and smiled.

"No, I was just… thinking."

Santana took a sip from her protein shake and brought her focus on her apple.

"Oh yeah, thoughts so deep you had to dig a hole into the floor to understand them?"

Quinn smiled wryly. "Yeah, that's exactly how I would describe them."

The Latina took a bite from her apple while she kept her vision on the audience chairs.

"Then I guess you were thinking about Finnept's huge manboobs. They make me want to crawl into a hole far away as well."

Quinn stopped smiling and looked at Santana with a serious expression.

_Honesty works best, right?_

"Actually, I was thinking about you, San."

Santana looked back up at her. Quinn could have sworn she saw a frown, but when they came face to face it was already replaced with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow.

_Smirk, eyebrow up, comment on how hot she is._

"Well, Q, I always knew you wanted all up on this.", Santana said, jutting out her chest and moving her appled hand across her body.

Quinn, on the other hand, kept her serious face glued on and tried to look the girl straight into the eyes again, which Santana avoided, of course.

"No, San. I was thinking about how I don't know you anymore. And I know it's my fault that I pushed you away and then forgot about you, but I know something is wrong with you, and I want to fix it."

The Santana Quinn knew would have gotten angry at her for saying something like that.

"_Yeah, well no shit Sherlock, did you figure that out just now? And _now_ you want to fix this? Well I have a newsflash for you, Barbie. It's too late."_

Quinn was expecting something like that, followed probably by a slap and/or a storm out.

That wasn't what she got though.

Santana kept her smirk and eyebrow glued on.

"Q, I know you've been having some issues lately, but that doesn't mean we all have those."

The blonde looked at her in surprise. This was not what she had expected, there must have been an extra page in the notebook. 'How to Avoid the Question'.

Santana's complete lack of response started to make her angry, and she decided to continue her plan of 'honesty works best', only taking it to the extreme this time.

"Stop it Santana!" She jumped off the stage, but stayed close to Santana from below and kept her eyes locked with the girl's… face.

"I know about everything! I read the notebook! I know you don't live at home anymore. Hell, I know that even your _parents _don't live at your home anymore! I know you work every night! I know you haven't opened up to anyone since Brittany broke up with you! I know you haven't made eye contact with anyone for months! I KNOW!"

Quinn finally stopped her rant, her heart beating rapidly.

_Shit, did I overdo it? What's San going to do?_

She looked at Santana, and already braced herself for the angry Spanish and the slapping.

Instead, she was met with silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: For those of you who have strange supernatural theories about Santana's behaviour: she was NOT abducted by aliens/replaced by a robot/…!**

**The idea is that she's a real person with real problems, although I guess I'll admit that her emotional state might be just a _tad_ exaggerated. Like, hardly at all.**

**So NO supernatural theme, just a lot of (possibly over the top) drama.**

**Also: don't you just LOVE cliffhangers?**

* * *

_7am: wake up, get dressed. _

_8am: glee, then go to class_

_lunch at cheerio table_

_class_

_glee _

_house_

_eat_

_9pm: work _

_6am: sleep_

_Wake up – glee – class – lunch – class – glee – work_

_Smile in glee and for Quinn._

_No eye contact_

_No touches_

_Smile for Quinn_

As Quinn was staring at her, Santana repeated her mantra in her head, while keeping the smile on her face.

_Smile for Quinn, no eye contact._

Quinn was still waiting for a reaction, any kind of reaction from the Latina, but the girl just kept smiling, her eyes fixed on the blonde's forehead.

_Don't think, just smile. She doesn't know. Forget everything she said. Get to class._

"That's nice Quinn. I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to get going. Class, you know. Bell's about to ring. We should catch up some other time."

_Smile, get to class._

She jumped off the stage, bypassing Quinn, and calmly walked towards the door.

Quinn was too baffled to act at first, but she quickly got out of her stupor as she saw Santana walk to the door. She hurried to step in front of the girl.

"How can you pretend like nothing is wrong! I just told you I _know_ about everything you've been trying to hide from us! I KNOW! Do something about it! Say something!"

Santana just continued smiling, but Quinn could see the corner of her mouth quiver. The darker girl's hands had also found there way to the rubber band again, and were shakily fidgeting.

_She doesn't know. She can't know. There's nothing to know. No eye contact, get to class. Smile._

"Nothing is wrong, Q. I'm fine. But I really should get to class now. Teachers always notice it when my hot ass isn't there."

She tried to move past Quinn again, but the blonde quickly thought back to the list, and did the last thing she thought she could do at that moment.

She threw her arms around her old friend's neck rapidly, but not too hard, softly hugging the girl from behind.

Quinn could feel the girl tense up beneath her, her heart-rate speeding.

_NO! No touching nicely! Get away! Go to class!_

Santana's breath caught. This was not supposed to happen. She knew she was supposed to move. That was her rule, people can't touch you nicely. She had almost forgotten why she had placed that rule upon herself, but now she remembered.

"_Santana_", Quinn murmured into her ear, "Just let go. I'm here for you. I care for you. I want to help you. Please, just let me help you…"

It had been so long since the Latina had been hugged, she'd forgotten how much she'd needed it. Someone to hold her. To be there for her.

She knew she had to get away, but something inside her was threatening to snap. She wanted so badly to give in to the sensation, to let Quinn take care of her in whatever way possible.

But as her body was swarming with emotions, her rubber band accidentally snapped against her wrist, and she got out of her stupor.

_NO! Get to class, get to class, get to CLASS!_

Santana quickly grabbed hold of Quinn's arms and threw them off of her, immediately making a beeline for the door. She literally ran out of the auditorium, leaving a shocked Quinn behind.

The blonde let out a deep sigh. That did _not_ go as planned. She wrapped her arms around her own body, hoping to find at least a bit of comfort in the motion, before she talked again.

"You guys can come out now. I know you're there."

She didn't even speak very loudly, but in the silent auditorium, she was as sure they would hear her as she was that they'd be there.

And she was right. Soon enough, she heard the sound of soft footsteps coming from behind the stage, and stepping down from it to join her.

She kept her head down until she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see Kurt look at her worriedly.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "That was…"

Blaine appeared next to him and stood in front of her as well. "Heavy…"

Quinn just nodded. She didn't know what to say right now.

Kurt, apparently, did though.

"I thought she would hit you. Get angry or something. Cry, or almost cry at least. But she just kept smiling… I don't understand what's going on in her head."

Quinn looked him in the eyes. "She's just following her manual. Everything she does or says is in there."

Kurt and Blaine nodded. They had noticed it too. The three of them fell silent for a while, each consumed in their own thoughts.

"But", Quinn suddenly spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence, "at least I got a response when I hugged her."

The guys looked up in surprise. They were still on the stage when Santana had started rushing out, and so they didn't really see anything special, except that Santana ran off without saying or doing anything special again.

The blonde just nodded. "She was nervous again, and I saw some cracks in her mask. And when I hugged her, she was starting to let go, but then she apparently completely put her walls up again and left." She paused for a bit. "I know it isn't much, but it's something, and right now I'll take any reaction I can get out of her."

The two guys nodded again. They hadn't seen it, but if Quinn said it was there, they believed her. At least it meant that Santana was still in there somewhere.

"It's odd, though…" Blaine suddenly said, making the other two turn to him questioningly.

"What is? Her reaction? 'Cause I can understand that you expected Snixx to come out as well, sweetie." Kurt said, his eyebrow rising when Blaine shook his head.

"No,… I mean yes, her reaction, but not that one. I meant her reaction to the hug."

Quinn and Kurt looked at each other, the same look of confusion on their faces.

"It's normal, though, isn't it? It was in her notebook. 'No nice touches.'"

The blonde agreed. "Yeah, I hoped she would react to that at least, because I couldn't force her to look me in the eyes."

Blaine just shook his head again. "Sure, her book says to avoid nice touches. But I know for a fact that Brittany still hugs her sometimes, and then Santana just smiles and moves away. Even when her cheerios try and be all team-y with her, she shrugs them off right away, but just keeps her smile on her face. Why did she react so strongly with you, then?"

Quinn looked at him with her eyes wide open, not really sure about what this new bit of information meant for her, but Kurt stood next to Blaine and gave a thoughtful frown.

"You're right, why _did_ she react so strongly to Quinn. Did you say something when you were hugging her?"

The blonde nodded. "Just some things, like that I cared for her and that I'd be there for her."

She mumbled the words, and bashfully kept her head down, which caused Kurt to look at her even more intensely.

"And those words have a special meaning to the two of you, don't they."

Quinn snapped her head up in surprise and looked into Kurt's knowing face, her eyes full of shame, fear, and something like guilt.

"H-how do you… W-what do you mean? She's my oldest friend, of course it has some meaning-"

"Yes, Quinn, but is she _just_ your oldest friend?"

The blonde's eyes went wide at the question, and she almost felt like running away, when a hand on her shoulder calmed her down. Blaine was looking at her intensely.

"Quinn, please. We're your friends. Whatever happened, you can tell us. Just talk to us, okay. We can see that this situation affects you more than us. We see how much you care for her."

Quinn swallowed. "So, you can see… everything?"

She looked up in fear, but Kurt placed his hand on her shoulder as well now, and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Of course not. We just know you care about her. And judging by what happened just now, we know you care for her more than you want to show us." Quinn lowered her head at that, but Kurt tilted it back up. "And that's okay, Q. We don't know what happened between you two, but judging by your reaction, maybe you should talk to us about it. And I know you're probably not ready yet, but now's as good a time as ever."

Blaine nodded as well, and Quinn just knew she had to do it.

"You're right." She choked out. "I should tell you, it – it might help us help San."

Kurt nodded, but he also added "and it might help _you_ too, Q, 'cause by the looks of it, you could use some help as well."

Quinn couldn't exactly disagree with that, so she just nodded quickly and told them to meet her in the choir room during their free period right before glee.

After that, they hurried to class, because their attendance these days wasn't exactly great, and they did _not_ need a detention on top of everything else.

* * *

When she finally got to the choir room, Kurt and Blaine were already waiting for her. This time, they had already set up the three chairs so that Quinn knew she was not getting out of this talk.

She took a deep breath and sat down in front of them.

"I suppose there's no escaping now, huh?"

The guys chuckled at the small joke. They could see the blonde was nervous, and they didn't want to discourage her.

"So, tell us… What happened between you and Santana?"

Quinn nodded and took a deep breath as she tried to recollect her thoughts.

"San and I… We were really close in middle school. We didn't really know Brittany yet, and we just hung out all the time. I loved spending time with her. She was my best friend. We could just spend hours together everyday without it ever getting tiresome or boring. We already missed each other if we had to go back home in the evenings."

The guys nodded. They already knew the two had been pretty close. After all, their Unholy Trinity was pretty tight right from the beginning of freshman year.

"When we went to high school, things changed. We got to know Britt during cheer camp before school started, and we immediately went to school as the unbreakable trio. Santana and I still hung out more often without Brittany than with her, though. We liked her, but she didn't completely fit in with us. So we just continued having sleepovers and talking about everything and nothing. I just… really liked those times. The just being with her, without having to worry about cheerios or popularity.

"We knew we were supposed to start dating boys and sleeping around, but I just didn't want to do that. I didn't want Santana to do that, either. I guess, in a way, I didn't want to have to share her. She was _my_ best friend, you know?"

Kurt and Blaine nodded again, but Kurt felt the need to interrupt this time.

"But you felt more for her than just friendship, didn't you?"

Quinn gasped in surprise at the bold question, but after a little while she swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I just…"

She fell silent again, but Kurt pressed on.

"When did you fall in love with her?"

Again, Quinn was shocked at his question, but she answered it anyway, not daring to look into his eyes.

"In our last year of middle school, right before graduation. I just, suddenly, _saw_ her then, like really saw her. She was still a bit of a tomboy, but she was just so…"

Quinn sighed, but this time she didn't have to finish her sentence. They knew what she meant.

"Did she like you back?"

This time, Quinn was pretty much prepared for the question, although she still refused to look them in the eyes.

"Yeah… I think… Yeah, she did."

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other.

"So, what happened? Why aren't you together anymore?"

This time, Quinn looked up with a sad look in her eyes.

"We've never been together. That's where it all went wrong…"

* * *

**A/N: I didn't want to end it with a cliffhanger this time, I almost finished it before she could start telling her story, but I figured some people would seriously start hating me for that. So I hope you'll find it enough that I let her tell at least a bit of her story, but it really feels right to stop the chapter here, so I'm just going to do that. But don't worry, I should be writing the new chapter soon.**


	11. Chapter 11

_FLASHBACK_

Quinn was standing against her locker, waiting for Santana to join her. Graduation would be coming soon, and the two had agreed to meet up after class for one of their last shopping trips as middle schoolers.

She smiled as she saw her Latina friend come up to her.

"Hey Q, ready to go?" Santana smiled brightly, and leaned against the locker in front of Quinn.

The blonde smiled back just as happily. "Totally, let's go!"

They nearly skipped out of the hallways and to the parking lot. Quinn's mom had agreed to come and drive them to the mall, and she was already waiting in her grey BMW.

"Hey mom", "Hey Mrs. F", the girls greeted Judy as they got into the car.

Judy Fabray smiled at them from the front seat.

"Hey girls, how was school today? Enjoying your last week?"

Santana and Quinn looked at each other and smiled. "Definitely, Mrs. F, although I can't wait to start high school after summer. Q and I are gonna rule that school!"

Quinn laughed and linked her hand with Santana. "Definitely! We'll be the most popular cheerleaders ever."

Judy chuckled at the girls and drove on. When they got to the mall, the teens quickly got out of the car, said goodbye to Quinn's mom and went off.

"So, what're we looking for, Q? Hot clothes for the party, or what?"

"Ugh, San, I don't get your need to always look 'hot'. My parents would get a heart attack if they saw me wearing what you do to parties!"

Santana smirked. "I would too, Q, but the good kind of heart attack." She winked as Quinn blushed, and they walked to the first store.

The Latina always did these types of things. They always bantered about either how hot Santana was, or how hot Quinn could be when she wore other things, and the way Santana looked at her in those moments made the blonde feel… things. Things she'd been feeling for a while now.

But those things weren't okay to feel.

She didn't look at Santana because she was attracted to her in a weird way. She looked at her because she was a friend.

And she didn't melt every time Santana did something sweet for her, like give her a rose on Valentine's Day or even just when she was excited because they were getting ice cream. The fluttery feeling just meant that she was extremely hungry, even if she'd just had a huge lunch.

And it wasn't like she couldn't help but feel like getting lost in the Latina's deep brown eyes and her gentle touches every time they were close. She was just…

… crushing on her best friend…

But again, something like that was _not_ okay. God would hate her if she were gay, not to forget her parents and everyone she knew would hate her as well.

_I don't even know if Santana likes me back…_

That was a lie.

She did know.

She knew for certain that same day, after they went home from the mall.

Santana had invited Quinn over to her place, since her parents would be gone – again.

The blonde always felt the need to comfort her friend because of her parent's absence, but Santana usually just shrugged her off with a smile.

"It's cool, Q, I've been telling you for ages. It's not like they're never home, they do this to afford everything we have, and whenever they do come home, they always make sure to spend time with me! It's like they only do the fun things parents are supposed to do, they let me do whatever I want when they're out, it's a win-win situation!"

Quinn rolled her eyes every time the Latina said that, but she dropped it anyway, seeing as Santana really did mean that she wasn't unhappy. If she was, Quinn would have noticed easily; she could read the other girl like a book.

They hung out on the couch in the living room, watching some episodes from _Friends_, sitting close together.

At some point, Santana's head fell onto Quinn's shoulder, and the blonde just smiled happily and put her arms around the smaller girl's waist.

Even though Santana pretended to be some badass chick, in preparation for her high school reputation, Quinn knew the girl loved nothing more than to cuddle, and she'd do so every time they would be together.

This time was a bit different, though. From her position on Quinn's shoulder, Santana took the girl's hand in her own and started playing with her fingers.

"Q…", she mumbled, in an almost pleading tone that immediately peaked Quinn's interest.

"Yes, San?" she said, a bit of humour in her voice at the Latina's odd tone.

Santana spoke softly from her place on the blonde's shoulder.

"I… I have something to tell you, but I don't… It's kind of…"

Quinn frowned, concerned with her friend, and tilted the Latina's head up so she could look her in the eyes.

"Santana, just tell me. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Santana just nodded, and looked into Quinn's hazel eyes.

"Q, I… I think… I like you…", she saw Quinn smile and open her mouth to say something, so she quickly went on. She really felt like she could only say this once, and now was the time. "I don't mean like a friend, Q, or even a best friend. I really _like_ you, like you."

Quinn's smile quickly faded and she looked at her friend in shock.

_This can't be happening._

Santana saw the shock on her face, and quickly put some space in between them, looking to the floor in shame.

"I'm sorry, Quinn, I know I'm not supposed to feel like this, and I know you don't feel the same way about me, I just… I had to tell you, I just… couldn't feel like I was always lying to you! I really am sorry, Q!" She looked at her blonde with pleading eyes. "I promise I won't talk about this ever again, I know you must hate me now because you're all Christian and stuff, but please, don't let this ruin our friendship! I don't want to lose you!"

Quinn just there in shock, watching her friend ramble.

She wanted to just engulf the girl in a hug and tell her she loved her too. She most of all wanted to kiss her, like she'd been dreaming off for so long now.

She almost did that, as well. She put her hand on Santana's shoulder and wanted to move forward.

Instead, she awkwardly stayed in place, and just sadly said:

"Yeah. Me too…"

_END FLASHBACK_

* * *

Kurt and Blaine looked at her, the former with tears in his eyes as Quinn told the story.

"After that, things were just awkward between us… We were still friends, but she just held herself back around me, and I just hated myself for not taking the chance…"

"Why, though?", Kurt asked, still a bit teary-eyed. "Why didn't you take the chance? You were in love with her, you knew she had feelings for you,… Why didn't you just go for it?"

Quinn stood up quickly and threw her hands up in exasperation.

"I don't know!", she shouted. "I don't know why I would do that! I was afraid of what my parents and my church would say! I was afraid because it wasn't part of my plans for high school! But most of all, I was afraid of what it meant for _me_! I couldn't be _gay_!"

They fell silent for a moment as Quinn sat back down.

"But you are, aren't you?" Blaine asked.

Quinn just looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, I am… After I was pregnant, I'd really lost her. She hated that I slept with Puck, she hated what I'd done with my life, and she hated that I was pushing her away so hard. When I finally got back on the cheerios at her expense, she hated me even more. But I…"

"You never stopped loving her", Kurt finished her sentence, giving her a knowing look. He had seen all the glances that were thrown around, he understood Quinn's feelings.

Quinn nodded, because he was right. She had kept pushing the girl away, and when she finally fully understood how much she needed her, … it was too late.

They all fell silent again, until Blaine spoke up.

"Well, then, I think you can probably get you hopes up again, because if we can judge by what happened today… she still has feelings for you, too."

Quinn looked up and didn't even ignore the fluttery feeling she was having in her chest.

He was right, she had had an effect on her. The Santana she started loving back in middle school was still in there, and she was going to do everything she could to get her out again as well.

She nodded at the two guys, who were watching her face go from sad to happy to determined in no time.

"I'm going to get her back guys. This time, I won't chicken out!"

And Kurt and Blaine smiled as well, and they quickly discussed the next plans in finding out Santana's secrets when the bell rang to indicate that their free period had ended, and the rest of the glee club joined them for their final session of the week.

* * *

When glee club ended, Quinn quickly hurried after the Latina, who snuck out right away again.

During glee, Santana's mask was on perfectly again. Apparently, the shock from the confrontation during lunch had already dissipated, and all emotion was gone from her face again, following her notebook perfectly.

But Quinn was determined to follow her booklet just as well. She knew that right after glee, Santana would be going home. All that was left for her, now, was to find out where the hell her home was these days.

When she got into the parking lot, she saw that the Latina was already at her car, so Quinn quickly hurried over to her own car, in an attempt to subtly follow her.

She followed the Latina out the parking lot and onto the streets, making sure to stay close to her, when suddenly she noticed that Santana pulled over at the gas station.

She had, of course, no choice but to wait on the street as Santana's red car drove up there, trying not to stand out to much in her own bright blue – very recognisable – car.

She waited for 10 minutes – 15 – 20, and she started to get nervous, so she quickly drove up to the gas station, and looked for the red car behind the building.

It was gone.

Santana had apparently taken some sneak-way out of there, making it impossible for Quinn to see her from the street.

_Okay, so I guess it's probably safe to say she saw me_.

Quinn sighed and parked her car in the gas station's parking lot as well, putting her head on the steering wheel.

She stayed like that for about ten more minutes, until she was suddenly jolted awake by her phone ringing.

It was Kurt.

"_Quinn? We got her!"_

The blonde smiled to herself.

_Who's the sneaky one now, Santana?_


	12. Chapter 12

_Quinn sighed and parked her car in the gas station's parking lot as well, putting her head on the steering wheel._

_She stayed like that for about ten more minutes, until she was suddenly jolted awake by her phone ringing._

_It was Kurt._

"_Quinn? We got her!"_

_The blonde smiled to herself. _

_Who's the sneaky one now, Santana?_

She quickly stopped smiling when she noticed she hadn't answered Kurt yet, and asked him how the search had gone and where she was now.

"_Well, we saw her drive from the parking lot on the other side through a small space. I think it's a good thing you were so obvious in following her, though, 'cause I think she would have noticed Blaine's strange driving if she hadn't thought she'd lost anyone who could follow her already-"_

Quinn nodded, and chuckled when she heard a flustered Blaine exclaim in the background that his driving wasn't _that_ strange, only to be cut off by Kurt again, who sarcastically said that it wasn't strange indeed to swerve left and right two cars behind to make sure Santana was still driving in front of them.

The blonde could easily imagine the two of them driving like that, a vat of nerves, but she finally let out a loud laugh when Blaine retorted by saying that he really didn't think the swerving was any less obvious than the fake moustaches and sunglasses Kurt wanted them to wear.

She only became serious again when she heard Kurt sigh indignantly.

"_That aside, though, Q… You won't be laughing for too long anymore if you come to her place. It's really… Well, just come and see for yourself. But try to make sure you park your swimming-pool blue car somewhere farther away. How about we come pick you up at the parking lot of the Walmart on Dingskesstreet, that sound okay?"_

Quinn answered with a quick yes, her amusement about the two boys disappearing when she heard Kurt's worried voice and hung up as she left for the Walmart in Lima Heights Adjacent.

Just the fact that Santana was actually _living_ in that neighbourhood now was enough to make the blonde worry even more than she already did. The Latina had always used LHA as something to make kids afraid to approach her, she'd always lived in a nice house on the 'right' side of the tracks.

Now though, things appeared to be different.

* * *

When she drove into the parking lot, she immediately saw Kurt and Blaine standing on the sidewalk. They hurried to her as she got out of the car.

Kurt was jumping up and down in excitement, and Blaine made quite a nervous expression as well when Quinn got out of the car.

"Everything alright? Did she see you? You two seem a bit… jumpy." Quinn quickly locked her car while waiting for an answer.

Kurt stopped moving a bit and just started fidgeting with his hands now. "No! No, she didn't see us, she's still inside the apartment block. We just _really_ don't like this place."

Quinn nodded. They were standing in the lights of street lanterns, but the houses and street looked extremely run-down, there was garbage everywhere, and groups of shady youngsters were wandering around.

"Yeah, I get that, this street is really kind of creepy."

Blaine shook his head, looking around nervously again. "This is still pretty okay. Wait till you see Santana's street. The lights don't work anymore in there."

The look on Quinn's face must have been really worried at that moment, because Blaine quickly backtracked and grabbed the blonde's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Q, we're here now. We're going to fix this."

Kurt nodded towards them, and then clapped his hands once in determination.

"Okay, guys, let's get going. It's almost 8, so we only have 1 more hour before she has to go to work, and we'll have to be there if we want to intercept her."

The two others chuckled at his words, and nearly started laughing when Kurt quirked an eyebrow at them.

Blaine looked at Quinn. "Nice to have the good old 007 back again, right?"

Kurt huffed indignantly, but the blonde laughed even harder. "Feels familiar, yes. It's nice to have something stay the same around here."

They finally got going again, Kurt rolling his eyes at their antics, and indeed walked into the dimmest street Quinn had ever seen – and it wasn't even completely dark outside yet.

She felt like her surroundings were getting darker and darker when Blaine and Kurt finally slowed down and looked across the road.

Quinn looked as well, and found herself staring at a small, mouldy apartment complex, with windows either so dirty that you couldn't see through them, or no windows and just wooden boards instead.

_I can't believe Santana is living here, this place is AWFUL! I just – I can't believe this! She's freaking 17, she should NOT be in a place like this!_

The two guys were looking at her intently, and took her shock as a bad sign.

"Quinn, don't worry, we'll help her, don't get upset now…"

Kurt was looking at her with anxious eyes, but when Quinn's eyes met his, he quickly noticed that she was not sad.

She wasn't feeling depressed or anything this time.

She was just. Plain. Furious.

It was one thing for Santana to be dumped and refuse to talk about it, but this was in a completely different league.

Santana should have come to her.

Quinn knew after these days that she couldn't really have helped her friend that much, but now she realised she hadn't just been angry at _herself_ about Santana.

She was angry at the Latina as well.

"How _could she_ do this to us! What the hell was she thinking not coming to us when this happened to her? Doesn't she know we freaking care about her? Didn't she think that it might just _hurt_ us to see her live like this? Fine, so she has issues with talking about her feelings, but she should _not_ be living here! It's not freaking okay, and I will not stand for it!"

Kurt and Blaine looked seriously taken aback by her exclamations, so Quinn stopped her rant and started pacing about the sidewalk in front of Santana's 'home'. She was still silently fuming, so the guys didn't dare approach her right then.

It was only when Blaine suddenly pulled her into the bushes next to the house that Quinn was shocked out of her angry thoughts.

"Blaine, what the-", she started asking, but immediately stopped talking when a hand was clasped around her mouth.

She looked at Kurt – whose hand was on her mouth now – with a frown, but when he shook his head and pointed in front of them, Quinn stopped struggling and looked through the leaves as well.

"9 O'clock sharp", he said, making Quinn wonder what was going on.

In front of them, she saw that a car had pulled up next to San's apartment building, and through the windshield the blonde could see a gruff looking guy in the front seat, obviously waiting for something. His car was a fancy black one, but weirdly enough it had a number in white lettering on the side.

Quinn was fully breaking her head on what the hell the guy was doing out there, when she suddenly heard a door open. She shifted her vision, and was shocked by what she saw.

Santana was walking out the door, wearing an extremely short black dress and an extreme amount of make-up.

The blonde felt a pull at her heart, and she felt like all the breath was pushed out of her lungs. Violently.

_Shit, shit, shit! This can't be true! San can't be… she can't!_

She felt tears pushing at her eyelids now, all her earlier anger flaring up again.

_No way, no way, don't get in!_ Quinn kept thinking as she saw Santana walk in front of them in her high heels. The blonde was still hoping it was all one big mistake, but when the Latina actually got in the car and it drove off, she just shook her head and shakily dropped to the floor.

Kurt and Blaine quickly joined her. They had all suspected something like this, but it had felt a lot better not being sure.

Quinn shakily reached her hand for her pocket, and took her phone.

"Uhm, Q, we're shocked as well, but I really don't think it would be a good idea to call Santana right now. She's working, so she won't have any time for us right now, and-"

Quinn was still shaking roughly, but she shook her head and looked Blaine in the eye.

"I'm not calling San, Blaine."

The two boys looked at each other in wonder, whilst Quinn typed in the number she had memorised.

A sultry female voice answered her.

"_Lima Escort Bureau, how can we please you?"_

* * *

**A/N: Just to be clear: I have no idea how escort services work, so let's just pretend that whatever type of stuff I use in the stories is actually true, alright?**


	13. Chapter 13

"_Lima Escort Bureau, how can we please you?"_

Quinn swallowed loudly. This confirmed their suspicions, but that didn't make it any less painful to hear it actually being spoken.

_Santana is an escort girl… She has to – to – to _sell_ herself to get money!_

The blonde was starting to go into an internal rant again, when she realised she was still on the phone with the… escort service.

"_Hello? Are you still there?"_

Quinn quickly made a decision. "Yes, I'm sorry", she quickly said, changing her voice to a much lower tone, "I'm still here. I was wondering if I could… hire one of your girls."

The two guys were looking at her in shock, but she had already made up her mind.

"_Why yes, of course, what type of girl would you prefer."_

Quinn quickly improvised further in her fake, deep – remarkably redneck - voice: "Well, the last time I hired on of yours I had a younger Latina girl… I think her name was Satan, or something?"

It was a long-shot, but she was glad she had corrected herself. After all, she figured nothing would be more suspicious than for her to actually _know_ on of them by name. It was a bit too… cop-like.

To her surprise, though, the woman immediately grabbed the bait.

"_Oh, you must mean Santa's Little Devil? Young Latina, long dark hair, gorgeous sensual smile?"_

Quinn looked at the guys, who had been following everything and looked just as shocked as she did at her success.

"Yes - *cough* - yes indeed, that's exactly who I mean! Is she still free tonight?"

The blonde was on the one hand hoping that the woman would say 'yes', but on the other hand she was also afraid. She really could use some time to prepare before she would be able to see the Latina.

Luckily for her, the voice quickly broke her from her thoughts.

"_I'm sorry, but it would seem that our Little Devil isn't free tonight. She is tomorrow though, I can set you up at 9pm?"_

Quinn swallowed loudly again. "Yes, yes that would be great, thanks."

She shakily ended the conversation by writing down the address to a hotel in a neighbouring city, and kept staring at the piece of paper in her hand long after she had hung up.

When she finally looked up again, Kurt and Blaine were looking at her expectantly.

"So… What's the plan, Quinn?"

The blonde gave them a wry smile.

"I'm going to get my Santana back."

The next morning, she got up feeling miserable.

Kurt, Blaine and her had stayed up late the night before. Quinn had insisted that she would wait until Santana got home, and the two others hadn't wanted to leave her alone, so they stayed hiding out in the bushes until 6 am, when Santana was dropped off again by the odd guy.

Quinn hadn't been able to do anything but stare at the girl and look for any sign of emotion.

But Santana had just gotten out of the car, her clothes a bit more ruffled than they had been earlier, but her face was still void of emotion.

It was only when the car had driven away that Quinn had seen it: Santana was trembling when she fumbled with her keys to open her door.

It was then that Quinn knew for sure that her San was still in there. All she had to do now was get her out again, in any way possible.

Now, however, she was lying in bed, wondering what the hell she was supposed to do this evening.

She looked at her alarm clock. It was past 12 o'clock, but she still felt tired.

_That's what you get for staying up till 6 am, I guess…_

She contemplated staying in bed until she had to go to Santana that evening, when she suddenly heard her phone ringing next to her.

Quinn reached over and saw that Brittany was calling.

"Hey Britts", she said unenthusiastically.

"_Quinnie, hey!"_, Brittany shrieked, making Quinn cringe. How her friend could be so cheerful this early in the morning – even though it was noon already – was a mystery to her.

"What's up, B? Did something happen?"

"_What? Oh no, silly! Well, Lord Tubbington has been reading my diary again, but I've already talked to him about respecting my privacy so that's no problem anymore. I was just wondering if you felt like hanging out today? I'm home alone, but my mom kinda wants me out of the house because last time I was home alone I set up a whole bunch of booby traps like in the movies and my dad had to go to the hospital."_

Quinn sighed. Even though Brittany was one of her oldest friends, she still did not understand what went on in the girls head.

That aside, though, she didn't have to think long about the question. If she had to choose between spending time with Britts and constantly having to think about Santana, she knew which one to choose.

"I'd love to, Britt. You coming over to mine then? We can watch a movie or something?"

"_Awesome! I'll be there in an hour, okay, Q?"_

"Okay, see you in a bit!"

Quinn dropped the phone next to her on the bed. She felt like crawling underneath the covers again and just shutting out the rest of the world, but she knew that it was a good idea to invite Brittany over.

Anything was good to get her thoughts away from what she was going to do that night.

So she finally got up, took a shower and had a very late breakfast. It was then that she also noticed that her mom wasn't home again.

Another note on the table reminded her of her mom going on a weekend again.

_Right, high school reunion, how could I forget? She's been going on about it for weeks. I guess I really have been out of this world for a while now._

When Brittany finally knocked on the door, Quinn was glad she was there. Her thoughts had been going into depressed-mode again, and she really did not feel like that tonight.

As usual, the taller blonde immediately wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug the moment Quinn opened the door, and Quinn felt herself hold her friend a bit longer than was usual for her.

She had really needed that hug.

When she finally let go, Brittany had a quizzical look on her face, but she didn't say anything as she followed the smaller blonde into the living room.

They lightly discussed which movie they'd watch – Disney of course – and they were both so submerged in laughing at the crazy Toy Story 3 toddlers and a Spanish Buzz Lightyear _(nvdr: proof again that everything sounds better in Spanish)_ that Quinn almost forgot about her issues.

It was only when the film had ended and they were chilling with some ice cream that Brittany asked Quinn about the hug earlier.

"What makes you ask that, Britt? I just felt like it had been a long time since I'd hugged you…"

Brittany shook her head. "Quinnie, I know I'm not book-smart like you and Sannie, but I understand people really well. And I know something's up with you. Last week you went from, like, Happy on Monday to Grumpy to Bashful to Doc."

Quinn sighed. Brittany may have looked like an idiot, but she really did get people. It was her special talent, even though she didn't always explain it all that well.

"It's nothing, Britt, really." Looking at her friend, who was watching her with an incredulous look on her face, she knew she had to explain more. "It's just that I've been… worrying… about Santana."

The taller blonde frowned at this. "What about San? Is this still about me and Artie, bec-"

"No, no!" Quinn quickly interjected as she saw that Brittany was getting sad again. "It's not that, it's just… Haven't you noticed something wrong with her?"

Brittany clearly thought deeply about this, forgetting about her melting ice cream.

"I'm not sure, Quinn. She hasn't said anything to me… I mean, she doesn't talk about what she's feeling, but I figure that's because I'm not her girlfriend anymore. And I think that's also why she doesn't make eye contact with me anymore, so-"

"Wait", Quinn exclaimed, eyes wide in shock, "you noticed that she doesn't look anyone in the eyes anymore?"

Brittany just nodded. "Well, yeah, but that's not all that weird, right? I mean, she always said she didn't like looking people in the eyes and stuff."

This time it was Quinn's turn to be confused. "Wait,… What? When did she tell you that?"

"Somewhere last year, I guess. I wanted to talk to her about us having sweet lady kisses and stuff, and that with Artie we talked about feelings, but she just said that it was better without feelings. She thought it was better if it didn't involve eye contact."

Quinn breathed in deeply.

_So… Without eye contact she doesn't have to get attached to anyone… That explains a lot. Especially with her… profession… Wow…_

Brittany nudged her, concern etched on her face. "Quinnie, are you okay? You look like I look when I get lost."

Quinn quickly shot her a smile and shrugged off the remark. "Yeah, yeah, sorry, I was just spacing out, I guess."

Brittany nodded in understanding. She spaced out all the time, it would be hard for her not to get the feeling.

"Why so worried, though? I mean, she's acting weird, but not _that_ weird, right? We're still friends and she's still nice, so everything's okay, right?"

At that moment, Quinn really didn't know what to do: on the one hand, she really wanted to tell Britt about everything she had found out. On the other hand, though, it was like she didn't want the blonde to get involved.

_Wow, Fabray, jealous much? It's not like Britt knowing will make her fall in love with Santana, you can't think you'll be the only one who wants to help her…_

She was broken from her train of thought by another nudge from Brittany.

"Quinn, please tell me. You're zoning out again being all frowny-face and it's scaring me."

Quinn sighed. She really should tell the girl. You can't keep something like that a secret from anyone, especially not if you know those people care about her as well.

So she took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a minute, and just started talking.

By the time she got to her meeting with Kurt and Blaine, Brittany's eyes were wide open.

By the time she got to the content of the notebook, the tall blonde started to shake, a shocked expression on her face.

By the time she got to Santana's 'home-situation', her eyes were tearing up.

By the time Quinn finished with last night's discoveries, Britt had tears running down her cheeks.

"She… Sh… Sannie…" The girl was obviously breaking down, so Quinn moved closer to her on the couch. "I didn- Quinn, I swear, I didn't know."

She started sobbing uncontrollably now, and all Quinn could do was wrap her arms around the usually so cheerful blonde and let her cry out.

When Brittany calmed down a bit, the smaller blonde just stroked the girl's hairs in a soothing manner.

"Wh-What are we going to do now, Quinn?"

Quinn sighed. "I've booked an… appointment with her tonight, to try and confront her again." She swallowed loudly. "If you want to… you could always come with me? I mean, she cares so much about you, maybe you could-"

"No…" Brittany had whispered it very softly, and Quinn could feel the girl shake her head against her chest. The smaller blonde frowned. She had thought Britt would demand to be there with her, not this.

"Why not, B?" she asked softly.

"Because…" Brittany tightened her hold on Quinn. "I've messed up enough already, haven't I? We were together and I didn't even notice that her parents kicked her out and that she had to… to sell herself to stay alive! And then I went back to Artie and she fell apart! I should have known something was wrong! This is all my fault!"

Quinn pulled the girl up a bit angrily, so she could look her in the eyes. "No! No, Britt, this is _not_ your fault. She hid everything from you! From us, from everyone! I've been beating myself up over this for the past couple of days, but we have to realise that if she'd have wanted us to know, she'd have told us! So we will _not_ give up! Do you understand me?"

Brittany simply nodded. "Yeah… Sure, you're right, Q… But if I'd have just pretended I still loved her-" she quickly backtracked when Quinn frowned at her. "Okay, no, I know, that wouldn't have been better, she'd just have been hurt worse later, I know… I can't pretend I love her… I mean, I do love her, but… as a best friend… Nothing more…"

Quinn let out a loud sigh and felt herself relax a bit. _Just as friends…_

"Besides, she always loved you the most, you know."

The smaller blonde gasped and looked at her friend in shock.

"Wait… Wh-What are you talking about, Britts?"

Brittany just shot her a sad smile. "Come on, Q, we both know she always had a crush on you. She sort of got over it when she was with me, but you never forget your first love."

At 8, when Brittany had long gone home already, Quinn was still in a bit of a shock.

_San still likes me… I can't believe it… I'm such a freaking idiot for letting her go! Ugh!_

Her conversation with Brittany had brought about two things:

1) Quinn was feeling even more emotionally overcharged than she had that morning.

2) She suddenly felt even more encouraged to help Santana, and she was determinedly preparing for her special 'blind date' with the girl.

_Should I dress nicely? I mean, what the hell am I supposed to wear to this kind of thing? Are the people of the hotel going to know what I'm doing there? Argh, money! Do I have enough money?_

This was one of the more tricky parts. She had already checked how much she was supposed to pay for the room, which already was more than enough. But she seriously had no idea how much she was supposed to pay for Santana.

_Ugh, how the hell can you put a price on a person?_

She finally just settled on nearly all of her saved up money she had in her room, and left her house really early. After all, she really needed to be in time. If Santana _– no, 'Satan's Little Devil' - _saw her in the lobby, she would definitely bolt.

So she took her bright blue car to the hotel over at a neighbouring city. She parked it a couple of blocks away, so that Santana definitely wouldn't see it in advance and be alerted.

She went to the reception, and nervously gave them her – fake, obviously – name, ignoring the subtle yet weird looks the receptionists were giving her and immediately hurrying up to her room when she got her key.

She opened the door to a rather spacious room, with a bathroom immediately to her right, and the big, double bed in the middle. The only other thing around was a tv that was attached to the wall, and two night cupboards.

When Quinn sat down in the middle of the bed and looked around the room, she felt dread creep up on her.

This was real.

She was really in an eerily quiet hotel room right now, waiting for an escortgirl.

Her best friend.

Her yearlong crush.

She looked on the television watch and saw that she still had half an hour.

So she just started counting away the minutes. She thought about turning on the tv, but decided against it eventually. She just felt that having a tv there made it all so much more… real…

She kind of wanted to turn off the lights, just to hide from the truth…

Unfortunately, at 9 pm sharp, the truth knocked on her door.

Quinn was shocked from her catatonic state, cleared her throat and let out a low and hoarse "C-Come in, please. It's open."

She heard the door open and close, and someone lock it behind them.

"There, no one can disturb us now, sweetie. Ready for your meeting with the devil?"

The blonde swallowed as she saw a tan girl stalk inside the room, swaying her hips, a smirk playing on her face.

Then the girl registered who was sitting on the bed.

"Q-Quinn?"

* * *

**A/N: Just one thing: boringsiot: the number was on the car that picked Santana up. I guess that wasn't exactly clear, huh :p I could have made her look for the number by making Quinn look up license plates and stuff like that, but I really didn't want her to take that long, so I figured that escort services use the pizza delivery system and put their phone numbers on their cars. Like I said, I really don't know a bloody thing about escorting!  
**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews!**


	14. Chapter 14

_The blonde swallowed as she saw a tan girl stalk inside the room, swaying her hips, a smirk playing on her face._

_Then the girl registered who was sitting on the bed._

"_Q-Quinn?"_

* * *

Santana froze in shock, standing just outside the narrow passageway to the door. Her smirk had completely disappeared from her face, and she just stood stock still, her mind obviously having trouble processing the situation.

Quinn was staring at her from the bed as well. Santana was wearing the same flimsy dress the blonde had seen her in the day before, inclusive an excessive amount of make-up and dark red lipstick.

The Latina looked hot, that was sure, but for someone like Quinn, who knew that the girl could look so much better when she looked natural (and happy), Santana looked awful.

In the too bright light of the hotel room, the blonde could see now how skinny the girl had become, how her face looked so lifeless, how she just looked… so un-schoolgirl like.

In this context, she looked like someone who'd seen some serious troubles in her life, like someone who was kicked out of her house and had to work as a… an escort to survive.

Quinn was finally the first one to speak up. She swallowed to get some feeling in her dry throat again, and stood up to move toward the brunette.

"San…", she hoarsely said, reaching out for the smaller girl.

It was then that Santana sprung to life again. She quickly jumped backwards, this time not even daring to look anywhere near Quinn's eyes, keeping her own eyes on the floor.

The blonde followed her movements closely, and Santana kept backing up until she was against the wall.

The Latina was obviously in shock, and even though Quinn was distressed to see her in this way, she also kind of saw it as a good sign. The cracks in the other girl's mask were becoming very clear.

"Q-Quinn… How… Wh-… I don't…. Don't… Why… Why?" Santana kept murmuring disconnected words, and the blonde wanted to wait until she calmed down, but when the girl also started banging her head against the wall harder and harder, in sync with whatever she was saying, Quinn decided it was enough.

She reached out and grabbed the girl's head with both hands, to stop her from hitting the wall, and tried to force her to look up.

"San…", she said in a soft, low voice, attempting to look the girl straight in the eyes. "San, please, calm down. It's okay… I'm here now, it's okay…"

She continued trying to reassure the girl, and was glad when at some point the Latina's murmuring stopped and she stopped struggling to get her head against the wall again.

Quinn was stroking patterns on the girl's cheek with her thumb, still refusing to let go, when Santana finally calmed down enough to say something.

"Quinn, how… Why are you here? You're not supposed to be here. This is my job-time, you're not supposed to be here. You should only be at school, not here. You're not supposed to be here."

The blonde sighed. "I told you, didn't I, San? I know. About the house. About your new house in Adjacent. And about your job… Stop trying to hide everything, San. I care about you. I want to help you."

Santana faintly shook her head. "No… You don't care. You can't know. You're not supposed to find out."

Quinn was starting to get frustrated add the girl's answers, but she knew that even these short and vague answers were more than anyone had gotten out of her the past months. So she stuck through.

"But I _do_ care. And I _did_ find out. And I _am_ supposed to know. You're my best friend, Santana, I care about you, so…" she felt a swell of emotion as she tried to make sure the girl knew she cared, "so _freaking_ much, you have no idea. So please, San, please!" Quinn was full-out pleading now, still trying to get the girl to look her in the eyes. "Please, let me help you! Let _go_!"

This was becoming too much for Santana. She started to struggle to get out of Quinn's grasp, but the blonde only held on tighter.

Her gaze still focused on the floor, Santana started to shake her head and tried to move towards the door.

"No, no, no, no, no, no-", she murmured constantly, struggling harder and harder, but Quinn refused to let go.

Instead, she made a quick decision like she had done in the auditorium, and moved closer to Santana, throwing her arms around the girl's neck, clutching her to her chest.

Santana continued to struggle, her protests becoming louder as well.

"NO! NO! Let go! Let me go! I can't do this! I can't-!"

She tried to push the blonde away, clawing roughly at her sides, scratching her as she did so, anything to make the blonde let go.

But Quinn did not let go. Santana struggled and fought, but Quinn just kept holding her tight to her gently, her eyes closed, waiting for the storm to die down.

It was only when Santana took a short breather from all her shouting, that Quinn softly whispered in her ear.

"No, San… _You_ let go… I'll be here to catch you…"

In that moment, she felt Santana's body tense against hers, before it broke down completely.

First her hands stopped clawing.

Then her shoulders sagged.

Then she just buried her face even deeper into Quinn's chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

She was shaking all over, and in no time her legs gave in as she broke down even further, apparently letting everything she had been feeling those past months, everything she had bottled up inside behind those masks of hers.

She let it all out, holding onto Quinn for dear life, both of them sitting on the floor against the wall.

Quinn just let her cry, she herself had tears running across her cheeks, just at the sight of Santana.

If it was up to her, she'd never let the girl go again.

* * *

At least an hour alter, they were still sitting in the same position against the wall.

Quinn had her arms around her friend, stroking the girl's hairs as she quietly sobbed. She wanted to talk about everything that had happened, but she knew Santana wouldn't want that right now.

And she really didn't think she could stand taking one step forward and two steps back, so she waited. Waited until the girl calmed down. Waited until the girl had let everything out.

Unfortunately, she didn't get that time, because suddenly Santana's phone started ringing.

Quinn could feel the Latina tense up, so she held her tight with one arm and took her phone in her stead. She had a pretty good idea who would be calling, judging by the Latina's reaction, and she refused to let the girl be taken away from her.

So she took the phone from Santana's purse, and before the girl could protest she picked up.

"Yes, hello?"

"_Um, who are you? Where's Little Devil?"_

Quinn put her HBIC mask on, even though the man on the phone would never be able to see her, it was what she needed to confidently continue the conversation.

"I'm Santana's friend. She's quitting this job."

The blonde had said it sternly, and was prepared for a bad reaction from the guy, especially after hearing Santana gasp loudly. The extreme yelling she was getting through the phone, though, were worse than she had expected.

"_QUITTING? THERE IS NO QUITTING THIS JOB, YOU BITCH! THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT WILL WORK FOR US! SHE ISN'T WORTH JACK SHIT ANYWHERE ELSE! SHE'S LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE US FOR A BIT OF MONEY! GIVE ME THAT FUCKING WHORE RIGHT NOW! SHE-_

_Wow, Russell is nothing compared to this guy_, she thought bitterly, before tightening her hold on the obviously frightened and shocked Latina and interrupting him.

"Now listen here, sir!" she said loudly, trying to get over his shouting, but without yelling herself. She kept repeating the last word until she finally got his attention.

"I would like to tell you right now that you should be ashamed of yourself for taking advantage of an insecure girl like Santana right now, but I won't. I'm just going to tell you one thing: either you let her quit and you never bother her again, o-"

"_HA! Or what? She came to _us_ for a job, and in our business it's blood in, blood out, and there's _nothing_ some self-assured bitch like you can do about it!"_

Quinn took a deep breath and quickly checked on the girl that was cowering in her arms. She gave her a reassuring smile, even though Santana was still keeping focus on the ground.

"Like I said, it's easy. You either let her go and stay away from her, or I'll go to the police and have them force you to leave her alone."

She heard the man let out a sick laugh on the other end, and quickly continued before he could interject.

"And before you interrupt me saying that it was her own choice, I'll just tell you one thing: Santana's a minor. Even if she begged you to give her a job, _you_ and your freaking service are still the ones in the wrong."

The silence on the other line told her that those guys didn't know about this. Eventually, the man started talking again.

"_That's… That's impossible, she told us-"_

"She lied. San's still in high school. I could just simply sue you right now, for child prostitution. Or…"

She paused, and was glad when the guy answered again.

"_Fine… The bitch is yours now. Enjoy, and tell her we _never_ want to see her again."_

Quinn started answering with a 'likewise', but the man had already hung up.

She took a deep breath and started to smile. She did it. Santana would be alright now.

It was then that she noticed Santana was shaking heavily.

"San? Santana, what's wrong? I did it, you don't have to work for them again, everything's okay!"

Santana was covering her head with her hands now, curling herself up in a ball underneath Quinn. The blonde leaned closer to her, and was able to make out some words she was mumbling.

"No… No… I need the job, I need the money, I can't survive! … I have to work! … I need my house! … I need food! … Cheerios! … No!"

Her breathing was getting ragged, and Quinn could see she was having a panic attack.

Santana was hyperventilating. She started scratching herself on her upper arms and neck, leaving red welts and drawing blood.

Quinn was starting to get really worried now.

"No, no San, this is good news! Calm down! You don't need their money anymore, you have me! Please, San, calm down, I'm here! You'll have me! You'll have my money! Please, stop!"

She had tears streaming down her cheeks, and had her hands on the girl's shoulders, shaking her, trying to get her to look her in the eyes, but nothing worked.

"San, please stop!"

The girl just continued hurting herself.

"San, please, I love you!"


	15. Chapter 15

"_San, please stop!"_

_The girl just continued hurting herself._

"_San, please, I love you!"_

* * *

Santana froze the moment the words left Quinn's mouth, and the blonde just continued holding her, shocked herself by what she had said, and waiting for a reaction. When the Latina continued staring at a spot around her stomach, she decided to keep talking.

"Please, San, let me take care of you. I… I love you too much to let you do this to yourself. You don't need that job. You don't need your crazy schedule. Just lean on me, I'll help you through it. Please… I _need_ to take care of you!"

Santana was shaking her head slightly, as if she couldn't believe it. This time, Quinn decided she would wait for the girl to say something, anything, in order to find out what was going on in her head.

After long moments of silence, the Latina finally started speaking.

"You don't want me. I'm not going to expect you to take care of me. You _don't_ love me."

Quinn put her hands up to the girl's face again, wiping away her tears, trying to lift up her head to make her look her in the eyes. When Santana's gaze got as high as her mouth, she answered firmly.

"Yes I do. With all my heart. Always have, always will." Her voice faltered as she went on. "I can't see you like this anymore, San. I want my Santana back, the girl who laughed like crazy when we played dance-off. The girl who cried watching _Marley and Me_. The amazingly sweet girl I fell in love with."

Santana's breath hitched at this, and Quinn could see her eyes start tearing up again.

"I don't know who that girl is anymore, Q.", she murmured softly. "I don't think she exists anymore. I… destroyed her…"

She wanted to let her head hang down again, but the blonde's hands stopped her from moving.

"Then we'll just have to build her up again from scratch."

At those words, Quinn swore she saw Santana's gaze fly up to her eyes for a moment, but the movement was so fast, the girl's eyes went back to her lips in no time. Quinn felt her heart swell with hope at the movement, and decided it was time for them to go.

"Come on, S. I'm getting you out of here. We're going home."

She calmly stood up, pulling the smaller girl with her. When they were both on their feet, she could see Santana's legs were shaking, and so she quickly made the decision to turn around and lift her on her back.

The Latina was surprised by the movement, and tensed up immediately at the contact, but she relaxed quickly when Quinn started walking.

It wasn't easy for the ex-cheerio to get the two of them out of there without looking too suspicious. She was glad she had already paid for the room in advance, so that she only had to hand in the key, sign some stupid sheet and get out of there, ignoring the strange looks she was getting.

When she had placed Santana in the car, the girl completely silent the entire time, she quickly got in on her side of the car and shot a text to Kurt and Brittany before leaving.

She noticed her inbox was already full with message from her three friends.

_Is she there yet? What's happening? – Kurt_

_Quinn, message me when something happens, okay? – Blaine_

_How's Sannie? – Britt_

_This is taking too long, what's going on? – Kurt_

_Kurt is losing it here, Q. Are you two okay? – Blaine_

_Quinn? Is she safe? Please answer me! – Britt_

She read over ten more similar messages, and quickly sent all three of them the same thing.

_Taking her home now. We're getting there. I'll text you in the morning. – Q_

She didn't know what else to write. She couldn't exactly tell them the Latina was fine, when she obviously wasn't. She just figured the truth should be good enough right now.

With a quick glance at the silent girl, she started her car and drove off.

By the time they got home, it was 3am, and Santana was fast asleep with her head against the window.

Quinn couldn't help but stare at the girl in the passenger's seat. She looked more peaceful than she had ever seen her, but a worried frown was still evident on her face.

The blonde sighed and brought her hand to the Latina's face to remove a strand of hair.

_How long has it been since she has actually slept?_ She sighed again and looked down, removing her hand. _I still can't believe what happened to her. It's all so… surreal if you see her like this. She's so small… She looks so vulnerable._

Then a happy thought made its way into her brain.

_At least she trusts me enough to fall asleep in my car. That ought to count for something, right?_

She smiled a sad smile to herself and got out of the car. Moving towards the passenger seat, she gently opened the door, unbuckled the small brunette and lifted her up in her arms, bridal style.

Santana moaned a little when she was carried out of the car, but she didn't wake up. It looked like she was completely out of the world at that time.

Quinn struggled to close the car door with her friend in her arms, and had an even worse time trying to get the door to open, but after a while she was finally able to get upstairs and put her friend to bed.

She quickly got rid of the girl's high heeled shoes, but hesitated when she went to take off her dress to get her into some pj's.

_It feels so wrong to undress her right now… It's like I'm abusing her,… Like all those dirty men have done to her when she was working._

She frowned to herself as she looked at the girl again, brushing some hairs out of her eyes.

_I still can't believe this happened to her… How did she do it… Why didn't she just come to me? I should've- No. I'm not doing this again, this is about helping her now. Let's just get her out of these freaking clothes._

Quinn swiftly took off her dress, ignoring the way too adult underwear Santana was wearing and quickly dressing her in some sweats and a tank top.

After that, she threw the covers over her, got changed herself and joined San in the bed.

She couldn't help but stare at the sleeping girl's face again, wondering how the hell she'd gotten through these past couple of months.

At some point though, sleep started to overtake her, so she threw her arm across the girl's waist protectively and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"_No… No… Don't do this… No… Stop! Please stop!"_

Quinn jolted awake when she heard someone scream, and when she realised where she was and what had happened the night before, she noticed that Santana was kicking next to her, still engulfed in her arms.

"San… Santana, what's wrong?" she tried to look at the girl's face, but the Latina was swaying her arms around in front of it, making it difficult for Quinn to see her.

"_Please… No… Don't!_"

It was then that the blonde realised Santana was still sleeping, so she held the girl tighter to her, even though it meant she got kicked even more, and started rocking her whilst whispering in her ear.

"San, relax. I'm here. Nothing's happening to you anymore. You're safe. Wake up, San."

She continued rocking the girl until she finally calmed down, and by the way she suddenly tensed, Quinn noticed that Santana had woken up.

"Q? What… What's going on?"

Quinn's heart broke at the sound of the girl's small voice, so she hugged her even harder.

"You had a bad dream, sweetie, but everything's okay now."

She felt Santana nod shakily against her chest.

"Wh-What time is it?"

Quinn glanced over the girl's shoulder at her alarm clock.

"It's almost 11… Wow, we've slept pretty long haven't we? Do you feel better now?"

Santana started to nod, because she did feel more slept than she had in a long time, even though she still felt pretty tired, but then she tensed up again.

"11? Shit, I'm behind on schedule! I'm supposed to be doing homework right now! If I don't work now…"

She started getting up, obviously distressed, but Quinn held her back, keeping her seated on the bed.

"San, stop fidgeting, relax. You don't have to follow your schedule by the letter, it will be fine if you only study in the afternoon.

Santana started shaking her head. "No, no, Q, I have to study. I have to graduate this year and get a scholarship and get out of here and go to university. I have to make my parents proud! I have to!"

She started shaking, and Quinn pulled her head up again, trying to make her look her in the eyes - but again, the girl's gaze stopped at her lips, which was good enough for her, for now at least.

"San, listen. You _will_ graduate this year and you _will _get into university, I swear. What's your GPA right now?"

She heard Santana mumble something about 4.0, and Quinn was seriously impressed, to say the least.

"4.0, are you kidding me? Honey, you could flunk all of your tests right now and still get into a good university!"

Santana shook her head. "No, I can't, I need a scholarship, so I need to be the best. I can't afford anything otherwise…"

Quinn looked at her emphatically. "You will get that scholarship, sweetie. Have you applied anywhere yet?" Santana nodded, but didn't elaborate. "Okay, and did you get any news yet?"

At this, Santana hung her head even lower. "…"

"What was that?"

"I don't know, Q. All letters would have been sent to my parents' new address, and I don't even know where…" She started biting her bottom lip, and Quinn could see she was trying to hold back her tears.

"They're still pretending you live with them in front of the law?" Santana nodded.

Quinn frowned at this. "San, that's…"

"… My own fault. It's my own fault, Q. I wasn't good enough for them. I should've been better. I should've studied harder. I shouldn't have been a fucking dyke!"

Quinn looked at her in shock an anger. She stood up quickly.

"Are you kidding me, San? You _were_ good enough for them, they weren't good enough for _you_! Those bigots should never have treated you the way they did!"

Santana started crying now, shaking her head, never looking up at Quinn.

"No, no it _was_ my fault! I should've been a better person, I should've been good! They always said it, if I hadn't been such an idiot, the would've had a daughter to be proud of! And if I hadn't been a dyke-"

She was stopped when she heard a crashing noise, which caused her to look up quickly. Quinn had thrown some perfume bottles from her table against the wall in anger.

"No, Santana!" she yelled, but she quickly got her voice down when she saw the fear in the girl's eyes. She stopped towering over her and kneeled down to her level, resting her hands on the girl's knees.

"No, San, they were wrong. You did nothing wrong. You are not the bad daughter, they are the bad parents! And don't say it isn't so, because it is. Would you have said I was the one in the wrong when Russell kicked me out?"

Santana shook her head, frowning. "No, but you were-"

"No, sweetie, I actually even made the mistake that caused him to bail on me. I made the mistake to get knocked up. You were _born_ this way, honey, it's part of nature, and if your parents can't deal with that, then _screw_ them."

Santana had tears rolling down her face, but this time at least, she wasn't shaking her head.

After a while, the Latina spoke.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when Quinn Fabray told me to screw someone."

She looked up slightly with half a smile on her face, and even though it was only a half one, it was the most genuine one Quinn had seen for the past months.

She chuckled, and she couldn't help but feel a little bit hopeful.

* * *

**A/N: I couldn't end with a cliffhanger today. So sad :( . That aside though, nearing 100 reviews, which is awesome, so thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

Quinn was waiting for her friend to come downstairs. She had started making pancakes a while ago, and although she already had enough of them to be able to feed the entire glee club, she continued baking, because she thought Santana could use it.

_She's become too skinny… I swear, if on top of everything she's gotten an eating disorder, I will hunt down those sorry excuses for parents and-_

"Stop thinking so much, Quinnie, you'll get wrinkles."

The blonde turned around, startled. "Mom, you're back already!"

Judy smiled at her from the doorway, bag still in her hand.

"You know, honey, it wouldn't hurt you to at least pretend to be happy I'm back."

Quinn smiled as well at this. "Sorry, I just didn't expect you to be home yet."

"Really? Who are all those pancakes for, then?" she put her eyebrow up in question, but her smirk stayed glued on her face. "Are you having a party I'm not invited to?"

"Mom, you're not invited to any of my parties", Quinn chuckled, "but no, Santana just stayed over."

Both of Judy's eyebrows went up in surprise now. "Santana? It's been ages since she's been around! I thought she had moved out of the state!"

Judy laughed a little at her own joke, but quickly stopped when she saw Quinn's smile falter. She moved up to her daughter and put a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Sweetie? What's wrong?"

Quinn shook her head, contemplating if she should tell her mother. She knew Santana wouldn't like it if she spread all of her secrets, but then again… this Santana wasn't anything like the old one.

… _and I could really use some parental help right now._

She turned off the stove, grabbed a couple of plates and motioned for het mother to sit down.

Judy started eating, but quickly stopped when Quinn got on with her story. She was giving her mom a shorter version than she had given Brittany, because Santana could come down any moment, but that didn't stop Judy from reacting as strongly as the other blonde had.

"So… her parents kicked her out and left her, and she's had to…?", Judy asked with tears in her eyes. "Oh, Quinnie!" she quickly went over to Quinn's side of the table to hug her, and they both hung onto each other for dear life, tears streaming down their faces.

A cough shocked them out of their haze, and they quickly snapped their heads to the staircase.

"You told her." Santana had said it calmly, not a hint of emotion visible on her face.

Quinn let go of her mother and moved a bit closer to the brunette.

"San…", she started saying, but Judy interrupted her.

She went over to Santana and engulfed her in a giant hug. Both the Latina and Quinn were shocked at the action, but the young blonde got over it pretty fast when she saw Santana give in to the hug and let go, sobbing loudly.

She went over to the two of them, and rubbed soothing circles on Santana's back, while her mother was whispering to the crying girl, she herself still tearing up.

"Shh… It's okay, sweetie. You're safe now, you're staying with us… Don't worry about those bigots, they can't touch you anymore, nobody can…"

Quinn could see that Santana still had trouble believing the woman, but at the same time she saw that the girl was taking comfort in the words and was at least trying to believe them, no matter how hard it was.

When they had all cried out, Judy broke the pressing silence with a laugh.

"Oh my, look at us, I haven't cried this long in ages! Come on, dears, Quinnie has made us an amazing breakfast, so dig in!"

Santana and Quinn looked at each other and chuckled before they joined Judy at the table.

Judy was stacking their plates and put them in front of the girls, and Quinn watched anxiously as Santana just stared at the food. She felt her chest constrict and wanted to say something to her, but her mother beat her to it again.

"What's the matter, sweetie? Staring at the food isn't going to make it disappear, you know?"

Santana looked up at Judy and focused her gaze around her forehead again, before shrugging.

"It's just that I haven't had food like this in ages… It's really nice, to have someone cook for me." She had said it in a casual tone, but her voice was still small, which caused the blondes' hearts to ache all over again for the darker girl.

Quinn took the Latina's hand in her own and made the girl turn her gaze to her face. "Don't worry, San. You're staying with us now, and I will cook you decent meals every day from now on. I swear, you'll probably get sick of having this much food in a few days!"

Judy chipped in. "Yeah, with the amount of bacon Quinn eats, everyone would get sick in no time!"

Santana chuckled and nodded before she finally started eating. She gave a small smile, and turned to Quinn.

"This is really good, Q, thanks…"

And Quinn knew she was thanking her for more than the food alone, and smiled back.

Santana might still not be able to look into anyone's eyes, but the fact that she can smile genuinely now and that she has been able to talk about her feelings at least a little bit showed her that everything might be okay.

* * *

By the time they had finished eating, Judy started on the dishes and the two girls went upstairs to Quinn's room.

The blonde gave Santana some clothes instead of the sweats she had been wearing, and went into the shower while the Latina changed and used the computer for a bit.

When she got out, Santana was simply lying on the bed and looking at the ceiling, her arms spread wide.

Quinn watched her silently from the door, a ton of emotions going through her, and was shocked out of her stares when the Latina suddenly spoke.

"Is this real?"

Quinn frowned and went up to the bed, sitting next to Santana. She put the girl's arm in her lap and started playing with her fingers.

"What do you mean, San?"

Santana sighed. "I just… Is this really happening? Is everything really… okay again?"

The blonde moved her hands from playing with the girl's fingers to rubbing her upper arm.

"Of course it's real, San. I'm here. You have me. You'll always have me."

The Latina swallowed loudly. "I just still can't believe it. I had hoped you would save me for so long now, I just…"

Quinn bent over her face, caressing the girl's cheek. Santana kept her eyes fixed on Quinn's mouth as she did so.

"Listen to me, San, I'm here, and I'm here to stay. I will always be there for you, do you understand me?"

Santana looked down at this, and mumbled something so softly Quinn had to process it in her mind a couple of times before she was able to understand it.

When she did, though, her eyes became a lot softer and her voice took on a much lower tone.

"You're right, I _haven't_ been there for you up till now, and I now I've let you down so much and I'm… sorry. I shouldn't have done this, I should _never_ have let you go."

Her voice was strained with emotion, and she herself knew that she was talking about more than just her forgetting about Santana the past couple of months. She saw a faint flicker of recognition in San's eyes, hoping but also fearing that she might have understood what she really meant, so she waited for the Latina to speak first.

"… Maybe it was for the best that you let me go, Quinn. I've been an emotional wreck, and so have you. It wouldn't have been good for you."

Quinn decided to press on. "Maybe, but maybe it would've actually been better if I hadn't let you go in the first place."

This time Santana's eyes flickered up for a moment, but she cast them down just as fast.

Quinn knew she may have pushed it a bit too far, so she moved away from the girl, but not before grabbing her hand and pulling her up.

"Come on, sweetie, we need to get your stuff from your apartment."

Santana followed, but frowned questioningly. "My stuff? What do you mean, Q?"

Judy had just heard them coming down from the stairs and answered in Quinn's place, already putting her coat on and taking her car keys.

"Well, sweetie, you can't honestly think that we're going to let you live in that place even a second longer, do you? We're getting all of your stuff, and you're moving in here with us. I've already prepared the guest room and gotten some cardboard boxes, so all you've got to do is put on your shoes and a jacket and we're going!"

Santana didn't even have time to object, because Quinn was already pulling her towards the door and handing her her jacket.

The Latina was still a bit frozen, but when the door opened she finally spoke up.

"Wait, Judy, I don't want you to do this!"

Judy and Quinn both looked at her with their typical eyebrow-arch.

"How do you mean, honey?"

Santana looked down as she answered. "You shouldn't want to do this for me, I'll be fine by myself, I can't just expect you to feel sorry for me and-"

"Oh, shush, San!" Quinn interrupted her, causing Santana to look up a bit again. "I told you you'd be safe with us, so why the hell wouldn't we let you stay here? You're part of the family now!"

Judy nodded and put her hand on the door again, but Santana interrupted again.

"No! You don't understand! You don't want me to live with you, I'm a bitch and a dyke and just a freak and I don't deserve your kindness! I deserve everything I've got!"

Quinn had angry tears in her eyes as she said this, but Judy just moved quickly and engulfed Santana in a hug.

"Listen up Santana, I love you. Quinn loves you. Your our family now, and _nobody_ talks about my family like this, not even members of my family themselves. You are not a freak, a bitch or a dyke. You may have your bitchy moments, sure, and you may be a lesbian, but most of all you are Santana Lopez, the sweet girl who beat up ten-year old bullies when she was 6, the girl who has helped my Quinnie on more than one occasion. You are amazing, honey, and I will be proud to call you my daughter."

And for the second time that day, all three members of the small Fabray family had tears in their eyes.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, this one is really short, and I guess it's what you'd call a 'filler chapter' (?), but I'm seriously busy, so there. I hope I'll be able to add a new one soon, but odds are seriously not in my favour.**

**And boringsiot: I may be horrible and rude, but you're totally awesome :) (or your reviews at least)**


	17. Chapter 17

They were on their way to Santana's apartment now. Judy was driving with Quinn next to her to give direction, while Santana sat silently in the back seat, staring at the road.

Quinn often stole glimpses of her friend, checking how the girl was holding up. She was glad to see that Santana seemed to be feeling a bit better after the heart to heart and the tears, and that life was slowly coming back into the girl's eyes.

She directed her gaze back to the front and saw that her mother was looking at her too. Judy smiled at her softly and Quinn nodded. She was really glad her mother had reacted the way she did. Santana did not need any more drama in her life, and she could really use a mother figure.

When they finally arrived, Quinn could hear het mother swallow nervously. She was getting nervous as well herself. They stayed seated for a while, until the Latina scraped her throat from the back seat.

"Ehem… So… It's probably best if I go in on my own and bring my stuff down. Just wait here, okay?"

She was already getting out of the car, determined to go up alone, but Judy quickly took the key out of the ignition and hurried out. Quinn followed as well.

"Oh no, sweetie, don't worry about it, we'll help. You can't bring all your stuff out on your own. Besides, we can get your stuff while you end your contract with the owner."

Judy smiled at the Latina, and she smiled back uncertainly.

"Yeah, but… Well…" She sighed. "Yeah, fine, you're right, that'll get us out of here the fastest."

The older blonde nodded and motioned for Santana to lead. If she had any doubts about entering the run-down place, she didn't show them at all.

Santana preceded them into a mouldy-smelling hallway. Even though it was only the afternoon and everything was bright outside, the moment they stepped inside it felt like they were in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night.

Santana hurried through the corridor, the two blondes close on her heels, looking around, taking in their surroundings.

The dirty brown wallpaper was crumbling of the walls. There were dirty spots on both the floor and the walls, some of them a suspicious colour that looked a lot like blood.

There was also a weird tension in there, which was why Quinn had been thinking of an alleyway earlier. She felt like thieves could jump her at any moment.

They passed a couple of almost black apartment doors with flaky numbers painted on the top, but Santana kept passing them and made for the stairs that were apparently located at the end.

Santana pushed the creaky door open and led them upwards. There were no windows in the small confined space, but luckily the lights were somewhat working in here.

She took the women to the second floor, ignoring the flickering lights she had already gotten used to, and once she got there, she pushed open the door and started searching around her purse for her keys.

Quinn saw that there were only four doors on this side of the floor, and followed Santana to the furthest one.

They stopped in front of another dirty door, number 24, and the Latina jammed the key in the door and twisted it with a lot of trouble.

Finally, she pushed the door open and walked in, flicking the light switch right away.

Quinn and Judy didn't follow as fast. They were standing frozen at the door, taking in the room.

"Santana…", the older blonde brought out. She couldn't keep her thoughts to herself anymore this time.

Quinn felt exactly the same way. If the outside had looked bad, the inside of the place looked even worse. The walls had that same dirty brown wallpaper as they had seen in the hallway, but previous owners had apparently thought it funny to write on there, like you'd imagine from prisoners or sometimes bathrooms in dirty bars.

The one tl-light on the ceiling cast an ugly light on the environment, clearly showing every trace of mould and dirt on the walls, the floor and the ceiling. Across from the door was one window, which was boarded up. Underneath of it was a blanket, which Quinn assumed was supposed to count as a bed.

The room was about as small as the Fabray bathroom, with the difference that this place was supposed to also hold a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom altogether. Looking to her right, Quinn saw a dirty toilet in the corner of the room, with a bucket of water next to it to flush. Santana had apparently tried to give herself a bit of privacy at least by putting some provisory curtain around it, but that didn't change the fact that it was still there.

And the kitchen? There were some cabinets on the other side of the window, of which the doors were hanging from their hinges, and the only type of stove was black all around; someone had apparently almost burned the place down.

Santana's stuff, then, was all spread out across the room. There were two large duffel bags in the middle of the room, stuff bulging out of them. Santana's school books were spread out on the floor next to some boxes of Chinese food. There were no chairs or tables, so Quinn assumed that that's where the Latina studied and ate.

Going back to her friend, who was standing in the middle of the room, she saw her shrug in response to Judy's question.

"I know, it's pretty… yeah, pretty awful… But it was affordable and I had a roof over my head, so… yeah…"

She was looking at the floor as she said that, and Quinn could see that her mother wanted to respond, but a look from the younger blonde stopped her – Santana did not need the 'you should have come to us'-speech right now.

So Quinn just went to the middle of the room and put her hand on the girl's shoulder.

"We'll start packing your stuff, you go end your contract, okay?"

Santana nodded silently and stepped outside, murmuring a soft 'sorry' as she went. Judy smiled at her reassuringly and joined her daughter in the middle of the room, checking the open door to see if Santana was really gone.

Quinn was looking around solemnly. "This is…"

Judy nodded. "It is… But I think she understands that it's for the best to come with us now. That's something, at least."

Quinn smiled softly. "Yeah, it's more than she would have admitted to for the past months. That should make up for something, right?"

Two sets of hazel eyes met each other. "I believe it does, sweetie. So… let's get started?"

The younger blonde nodded and started packing the books while her mother started folding all the clothes that were lying spread out in the room. She paled when she saw the skimpy escort-outfits, but Quinn could see her shaky hands steady herself and calmly continue packing.

_I'm so glad I have my mom with me now. She's responding the same as I did, but at least she's dealing with it as well… Having an adult around for this really helps…_

They continued packing, and when Quinn finished gathering her school stuff, she went to the 'kitchen cabinets' to check if they still held anything. She found some small things like a couple of glasses and two plates she figured Santana wouldn't really miss, but then, in the one cabinet that still had a good door, she found something that made her gasp.

In the cabinet was a small box that Quinn recognized as Santana's old 'memory box'. She remembered what was in there when they were little, and that at some point it had become too small for all of Santana's stuff so they bought another one. But here was the old one.

She gently opened the pink box with the glued-on sequins that said 'Santana', and looked in surprise at what she found inside.

Where the box used to be filled with little letters from school, or rocks she had found and stuff like that, there was only a red notebook in there now and a few pictures: of her and Quinn when they were younger, of the cheerios, of the unholy trinity and of the glee club in their first and second year.

Quinn smiled at the pictures and then went for the notebook. She thought back to the black notebook, but she wasn't afraid of finding the same kind of content in this one; she had the feeling that this one wouldn't be the same.

And she was right: this was one of the notebooks she remembered the old Santana had, with small poems and song lyrics and doodles of funny animals and friends. When she looked at the date on some of the entries, she saw that it was all from last year, except for the very final page. There, she found something in a black pen, like the one from the black notebook.

_Please, love me_

_I can't do it_

_I don't want it_

_I don't want me._

_Love me, please._

Quinn was shocked at the poem. This was obviously the most recent thing in the book, and she couldn't help but feel like it was directed to her.

She brought her fingers to trace the letters and the small blotches in the ink she thought might be tears. She felt herself welling up as well, but quickly shut the book and took the box when she remembered she wasn't the only one in the room.

When she turned around with the box closed and made her way to the two full bags, she noticed her mother looking at her with a questioning expression.

"A box with some old photos," Quinn said, not wanting her mother to know about the notebook.

Judy nodded. "Any of her family?", she asked.

Quinn just shook her head. "No, I doubt they let her take any with her, the way they wanted to get rid of her."

Judy just nodded again. "Good, then we can just make a new family picture of the three of us. She can keep that one in there."

The younger blonde looked up in surprise after she had zipped the bag up and smiled.

"What is it, sweetie?"

Quinn shrugged. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Her mother laughed heartily at that. "Well thanks, sweetie, you're not too bad yourself!"

Quinn chuckled and went over to hug her. "Thank you so much for helping me, mom. You have no idea how grateful I am."

Judy nodded. "It's okay, sweetie. I love Santana almost as much as you do, although I guess I love her a bit differently."

"What do you-" Quinn didn't get the time to finish her question.

"Well well well, ain't this touching?" a loud voice came from the doorway and the two women looked up in shock.

Two big men were leaning against the doorframe. They were wearing dirty clothes, had rugged half beards and smelled like booze and sigarettes.

Judy pushed Quinn somewhere half behind her and glared at the men, although Quinn could see her hands tremble.

"Whatcha think, Frank? Ain't it _cute_?", he asked the other, darker haired guy, moving into the room at the same time, coming closer to the two women.

"Yeah, 's cute, aight. But y'know what'd be even cuter, Bill?", Frank answered, moving in as well.

"No, whazzat, Frank?", Bill asked, stepping even closer to the two blondes until they had their backs against the window sill.

"If they was naked," Frank answered, his smirk growing as he pulled out a knife, putting his hand on the wall next to Judy's head.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, cliffhanger :) Also: if you like Harry Potter and if you think you might like the idea of Santana and Fleur together, you can always check out a new story I started writing: Back to Hogwarts, a crossover between HP and Glee.**

**If you don't like HP or Fleur: sorry to have bothered you, I'll probably update soon.**


	18. Chapter 18

_Judy pushed Quinn somewhere half behind her and glared at the men, although Quinn could see her hands tremble._

"_Whatcha think, Frank? Ain't it cute?", he asked the other, darker haired guy, moving into the room at the same time, coming closer to the two women._

"_Yeah, 's cute, aight. But y'know what'd be even cuter, Bill?", Frank answered, moving in as well._

"_No, whazzat, Frank?", Bill asked, stepping even closer to the two blondes until they had their backs against the window sill._

"_If they was naked," Frank answered, his smirk growing as he pulled out a knife, putting his hand on the wall next to Judy's head._

* * *

Quinn was clasping her mom's arm from behind her, pressed against the window sill. She could not believe this was happening.

As the dark guy's head loomed closer to her mother's, and he almost had his knife pressed against her neck, all the young blonde wanted to do was run.

Unfortunately for her, though, the other man, Bill, obviously sensed that, because he was suddenly caressing his dirty hand over her cheek.

"Now now, sweetcheeks, nuthin' to worry 'bout here. Just be a good girl, and y'll be fine."

Quinn closed her eyes when he started bringing his tongue towards her, but suddenly snapped them open again at the sound of a voice booming into the room.

"I wouldn't say that exactly, Bill."

The two guys turned around to find Santana in the doorframe. Quinn thought they looked pretty shocked, but they didn't let her or her mother go.

"Why'd you say that, neighbour?" The guy asked, and the young blonde gasped.

_These are Santana's neighbours? How the hell has she been dealing with them?_

"Well, Frankie…", the Latina says, walking slowly and menacingly into the room, her HBIC-face plastered on. "I don't think my _boss_ will be very happy to see you damage _his_ goods."

At this the men quickly let go and stepped away from the blondes.

"Wait… You mean these two r…"

"Escorts? Sure are. Now I don't think I need to repeat the rules to you, now do I, boys?" Santana was backing the two men into the wall on the other side now, as they were trying to shuffle out of the room.

"N-No…" "No, no, we know 'em", the two men mumbled, shrinking under Santana's glare.

"Good." She was face to face with them now. "Because I wouldn't want to have to tell this," she motioned with her hand to the two women, other hand on her hip, "to the boss. I don't think he'd like that, do you?"

Bill and Frank shook their heads quickly.

"Good. Now get out of here, and don't come near them _ever_ again. Understand?" She was towering over them by now, and only when they both nodded fervently did she let them past her and out of the door.

When the three of them could hear a door slam on the other side of the hallway, Quinn finally came to life again.

"Oh my god… I thought they were going to…"

Judy looked at her daughter as she spoke up and quickly hugged her, both their eyes still trained on the open door.

They were shocked out of their haze when they noticed that Santana was ruffling around with her bags, stuffing some final things in there and hoisting them over her shoulders, not looking up once.

Quinn went closer to the visibly distressed girl.

"San? It's okay, you made them go away. Everything is fine now."

Santana was still fumbling with the bags, but her hands were shaking so hard that she couldn't close the zipper to the second one. Quinn put her hands on the girl's, stopping her in her motions.

"San…?"

The Latina stopped moving, her face still down, avoiding Quinn's gaze.

"I should never have brought you here," she mumbled quietly.

The young blonde looked at her mother for a moment, and Judy immediately understood what her look meant. She made her way over to the girls and grabbed the other bag, zipping it swiftly.

Quinn pulled Santana to her feet. She wanted to discuss with the girl about this, but not there, and not then. Even though the men had left, she was still pretty shaken from the experience, and getting the hell out of there with her family was her top priority now.

Santana was surprised when the blonde pulled her up and looked at the other girl's face quizzically, and she nodded quickly afterward; apparently Quinn's pale and anxious face was enough of an answer to her.

The Latina sighed sadly as she turned on her heel toward the door, her head down as she let Quinn pass so she could lock it.

The blonde understood that Santana was feeling even worse about what had happened, but talking about that in that building was not what she wanted to do. So she did the only other thing she hoped would relax the brunette a bit, and grabbed her hand when the girl had locked the door.

Santana looked at their joined hands in surprise, tense at the sudden gesture, but she relaxed when she felt Quinn's fingers intertwine with her own, the blonde rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb.

Quinn quickly whispered "It wasn't your fault" in the girl's ear, and then pulled her towards the stairway, where her mother was waiting.

The Latina was still a bit shocked when Quinn had told her that, but followed the two other women quickly, mostly because her hand was still linked with the blonde's, who didn't let her go until they reached the car.

She handed Judy her bag to put it in the trunk, letting go of Quinn's hand to do so, quickly put an envelope with her key in it in the mail box and then moved to sit in the backseat again.

She tried to close the door behind her but was surprised when Quinn stopped her from doing so and stepped in next to her, immediately reaching for Santana's hand again and pulling it into her hand.

When Judy got in and started the car, Santana thought she could feel the tension in the car lessen, a thought enhanced by the fact that Judy let out an insanely huge, shaky sigh.

Even though she did that, though, none of the three women spoke until they had left Lima Heights and were back in the 'good side of town'.

"I-I'm sorry for taking you in there and leaving you alone… I should've thought things through more…"

Santana had said it with that same small voice, her eyes trained on the floor of the car.

This time Quinn wouldn't have it anymore, and she pinched the skin of the small girl's hand.

"Ow!" the Latina looked up with a scowl. "What'd you do that for?"

Quinn just laughed at the girl's expression, and was quickly joined by Judy, who was looking at them through the mirror.

"Oh come on, Santana. You didn't think you could say it was your fault _so_ many times without my Quinnie doing anything about it, did you? I think she went to easy on you!"

Santana scowled even more and looked at the woman with an incredulous look on her face, which caused the blondes to laugh even harder.

"I… I don't get this! I just brought you two in danger, and now you're _laughing_? They could've hurt you!"

This quieted the two women down a bit, although the looks of amusement were still on their faces. This time it was Quinn who answered, pulling Santana's head a bit so she would look her in the face.

"San, listen. 1: You didn't bring us into danger, we wanted to go ourselves, even though you'd told us it wouldn't be a good idea. 2: yes, it was scary and I was afraid of what was going to happen-" she swallowed as she though of it, closing her eyes, but quickly opening them again, "- but we're fine. Nothing happened, and it was all _thanks_ to you. The fact that we're sitting here and still able to laugh is _thanks_ to you. The possibility that something might've happened was not _because _of you. And 3…"

Santana was frowning but still looking at her lips, which Quinn saw as a good sign.

"… thirdly, I should have hurt you more because you keep saying you're sorry – for _saving_ us, again, not hurting us – but you should have said you were sorry for not telling us earlier how dangerous your life was! And don't tell me it was not-" she quickly continued when she saw Santana was about to interject ", because it's not because you had some kind of arrangement with your… _pimp_ that you were safe. You are not going to pretend to me that you felt safe, or are you?"

Santana was looking down again at this, which made Quinn's heart throb a bit. The small girl had really gone through a tough time.

She tilted the girl's head up again and continued, in a softer voice now.

"Listen, I get that you still don't really want to talk about all the things that have happened to you, and I'm not going to push you into talking either. Just… You just have to know that at some point, you can't keep everything bottled up inside anymore… It's not healthy. And when that time comes, I'll be here for you… To listen. To help."

She was looking intently at Santana's face, trying to read all the emotions that flashed across it: confusion, fear, shame, sadness, loneliness, and hope.

Santana looked down for a bit, and then directed her eyes up again, going over Quinn's lips, nose, and then up to her eyes.

Quinn's bright hazel eyes opened wide in surprise when they met chocolate brown directly, and she felt her heart well up.

Santana had only looked her in the eyes for a split second, and apparently the girl was able to find the reassurance she was looking for in them, because she nodded subtly and laid her head on the blonde's shoulder, relaxing into her completely.

Quinn smiled at her mother through the mirror and the older blonde smiled back brightly, tears evident in her eyes.

Judy might not have fully understood what just happened, but seeing the two girls so naturally close again after all this time warmed her heart anyway.

When they finally got home, it was already evening, and Judy decided to get started on dinner, motioning for the girls to go upstairs and start preparing the guest room for Santana.

Quinn took one of the bags and brought San to the room, which was right across from hers.

When she got into the room she plopped the bag down onto the double bed and turned around to face Santana, who was still standing in the doorway, looking around.

"Okay, so, this is it. You have your own bathroom, which I think is good, if you need extra blankets or something they're in the closet, but I doubt you'll need those right now, seeing as it's already spring and that would be weird, and uhm-"

She was stopped when Santana's hand came up in her face.

"Okay, stop the ramble!", the Latina said, grinning at the blonde. "The room is fine! Jeez, hanging out with Berry too much, Q?"

Quinn laughed a bit as well and rolled her eyes. "Whatever San, she's not too bad, you know?"

Santana's smile stayed on her face but became a bit sad as she looked down and went to sit on the bed.

"No, I don't know… I don't really _know_ any of those people, Q… And after what I've done to them, I doubt I'll ever get to know them."

Quinn just smiled and sat down next to her friend, putting her arm around her shoulder.

"But you'd want to get to know them?"

Santana curtly nodded.

"And you'd want them to get to know you? The real you?"

This time the Latina sighed. "I don't even know who that is anymore, Q…"

Quinn simply shrugged. "Then we'll just have to discover her together, right?"

She lightly nudged the girl's shoulder as she said that.

"And don't worry, the glee club will understand, and they'll make an effort too. And if they don't…"

Santana was waiting for the rest, but when the pause became too long she looked up to see Quinn grinning.

"… if they don't, Q?"

Quinn's smirk became even bigger. "Then I'mma go _all_ Lima Heights on their asses."

At that remark, Santana just started rolling her eyes with a smile, but when she saw Quinn's smirk still on her face, her smile grew bigger, and when the blonde wriggled her eyebrows like some kind of sappy comedian, she couldn't hold herself in any longer. She started laughing and was immediately joined by the blonde.

The two girls didn't stop laughing until they were rolling on the floor and Judy had to come and check what all that noise was.


	19. Chapter 19

"_And don't worry, the glee club will understand, and they'll make an effort too. And if they don't…"_

_Santana was waiting for the rest, but when the pause became too long she looked up to see Quinn grinning._

"… _if they don't, Q?"_

_Quinn's smirk became even bigger. "Then I'mma go all Lima Heights on their asses."_

_At that remark, Santana just started rolling her eyes with a smile, but when she saw Quinn's smirk still on her face, her smile grew bigger, and when the blonde wriggled her eyebrows like some kind of sappy comedian, she couldn't hold herself in any longer. She started laughing and was immediately joined by the blonde._

_The two girls didn't stop laughing until they were rolling on the floor and Judy had to come and check what all that noise was._

* * *

When they sat at the dinner table, the two girls were still giggling, and Judy just rolled her eyes at them.

"Seriously, girls, all you had to do was unpack, but instead you go into some kind of giggle-fest that literally has you _rolling over the floor_ laughing? Who does that anymore?"

At those words, Quinn and Santana laughed even harder, while still trying to eat something.

It took them a few minutes to finally calm down.

"I'm sorry, mom… I feel like a ten-year-old on her first sleepover or something."

Santana nodded and grinned. "Just like old times, right, Q? Only this time we didn't throw around popcorn, which I think is an evolution."

Quinn and Judy nodded seriously, and they finally had a relaxed dinner. Santana felt the calmest she had in a long time.

When they finished, Judy simply set the plates into the sink, but motioned for Santana and Quinn to stay seated.

"Okay, Santana, I'm sorry I'm doing this now that you're finally getting settled again, but I think we have to do this as fast as possible."

Santana swallowed and frowned, and Quinn took her hand in her own, curious about what her mother was talking about.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I'm not going to ask you about any details or give you any conditions for staying here, and I'm not going to force you to do anything either."

The Latina sighed loudly and nodded, but she still had an anxious face as she looked at Judy.

"I'm not going to _force_ you, but I do think it would be a good idea for you to see a psychiatrist. Not that I think anything's wrong with you-" she quickly continued when she saw Santana open her mouth to interject, "but I do think it would be a good idea for you to let some things out, to be able to talk to someone who you don't know and who won't judge you or might see you differently after you tell them the truth. Because I'm pretty sure it will be hard for you to tell Quinn or Brittany or any of your friends…"

Santana closed her mouth and slightly nodded. It was true, she really didn't want them to see her differently…

Quinn also nodded, but then she slapped her hand on her forehead so hard that her mother and Santana looked at her with a surprised look on their faces.

"Oh, sorry, I just forgot… I had promised Britt, Kurt and Blaine that I would call them… like, this morning. And seeing as I haven't checked my phone since last night…"

Judy chuckled and shook her head, and Santana smiled as well, but it was more of a sad smile.

"So Britt, Kurt and Blaine know too? About… everything?"

Quinn nodded and took Santana's hand. "Yeah, Kurt and Blaine helped me find out and B, well… she noticed something was wrong with me and, yeah…"

Santana nodded and sighed. "Well… I guess it's good that they know, then?" Quinn didn't miss the question in her voice, and knew the girl had meant something more when she asked that.. She thought for a moment before answering.

"I think it _is_ good, San… I'm not saying the entire glee club needs to know what happened, but these people care so much about you, even if they… even if _we_ haven't shown it these past couple of months. They can help you…"

Santana nodded again, but looked down all the same. "I guess… I just don't want them to pity me… Or to… I don't know…"

"They don't pity you… They care about you, San, and they're sad that all this happened to you… It's not a bad idea to let them in, alright?"

When Santana nodded again and smiled a bit a she looked up, Quinn smiled back and left the room to look for her phone.

As she went up the stairs, she could hear her mom say that they would discuss the rest after they'd done the dishes, and she was glad about that, because she wanted to be there for Santana, whatever discussion they had.

When she got to her room and found her phone, she sighed when she saw how many missed calls she had, although she did pretty much understand where they were coming from.

She called the guys first, figuring that if she called Kurt, Blaine would be close anyway.

"Hey K-"

"_Oh my god, QUINN! What the hell, call us or something!"_

Quinn chuckled a bit at Kurt's reaction.

"Sorry, sorry, it just slipped my mind… Is Blaine with you?"

"_Yeah, he is, and Brittany too…_" Quinn could hear the blonde shouting '_HI QUINNIE!'_ in the background. _"Hold on, I'll put you on speaker."_

Quinn smiled. "Hey Britt, what are you doing there?"

She could hear Blaine and Kurt's snorts, before Brittany answered. "_I thought they might know something about Sannie, since _you_ never called, even though you promised!_"

Quinn could almost see the pout on the blonde's face, so she quickly apologised.

"I'm sorry, Britt, and guys, but we had a lot to do today… We slept pretty long, with all that happened last night, and we went to get her stuff from her apartment, and-"

"_What did happen last night, Quinn?"_ It was Blaine now. "_You got her out of there without trouble?"_

"Actually, no…" And Quinn explained them everything that had happened, from the moment Santana walked through the hotel room door to what had happened this afternoon.

By the end of her explanation, the line went quiet.

"Um, guys?" Quinn asked, surprised by the silence.

"_Wow, sorry, just a bit shocked there,"_ Kurt answered. _"So you got chewed out by her… her pimp, she got a couple of panic attacks, and when you got her stuff from her apartment earlier you were nearly raped by her… neighbours… Did I get everything?"_

Quinn sighed. "I know, it sounds bad… It _was _bad… But there's no use in focusing on the bad things… She's out of there, she's safe with us, and she actually laughed earlier, so… Yeah…"

"_Sannie laughed?"_ Brittany.

The blonde smiled. "Yeah Britt, she laughed. She still has a sad smile most of the time, but she's… more relaxed, and when she laughed it was genuine."

She could hear a sigh on the other end. _"That's good… So, your mom wants her to see a shrink?"_

"Yeah, and I get that… It would be best for her. I think my mom has some other ideas as well to help her."

"_Really? Like what?"_ Curious Kurt.

"I don't know… They were going to talk about that when I figured I should call you."

"_Oh! Then you should definitely check up on them! Your mom's great, and I want to know her plans!"_

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll go check on them... And yes, I'll let you know tomorrow… Bu guys: tomorrow, could you just… act normal? I don't think San's ready yet to tell everyone, and she's kind of trying to find out who she really is again, so…"

"_Yeah, sure!" "Of course!" "No problem, Quinnie, I'll try to be as normal as possible."_

The blonde smiled to herself. For someone who thought no one cared about her, Santana had some pretty good friends. She said her goodbyes to them and went back downstairs to where her mom and Santana were finishing up the dishes.

Santana was smiling when she walked in, and Quinn stopped for a moment to smile herself at the sight. The brunette looked happier than she had seen her in ages, even though she was still pale.

Judy finally noticed her daughter standing there, and shook her out of her silence by throwing a towel in her face.

"Mom, what-?"

"What? You're trying to tell me that you just _happened_ to come down exactly when the two of us finish the dishes, sweetie?"

Quinn smiled when she noticed her mother wasn't serious, and as Santana hung up her towel as well the two followed Judy into the living room, where the two girls sat on the couch opposite the older woman.

"Okay, we can go back to the family meeting now, right?"

The younger blonde rolled her eyes and noticed that Santana calmed down visibly as she did so, smiling softly.

"Santana." The Latina looked away from Quinn to focus on Judy. "Did you think about going to a psychiatrist? Just know that I won't force you to go, like I've said, but I do think it would be-"

"I'll do it."

Santana had said it in a small voice, but her gaze was strong. Judy was surprised.

"Really? You don't feel like I'm pushing you? Because-"

Santana chuckled sadly. "No, you're not… I'm pushing myself, because I have to… I need to get it together again, and if you think a shrink'll help me do that, then I'll just go, no biggie…"

Quinn knew that it _was_ a big deal, but she was impressed that Santana had acknowledged to go see someone. It was like she had matured in those few months of hardship, because the old Santana never would have given in so easily.

"Well… Okay then, that's great Santana… I'll make some calls tomorrow and then we'll set up a date, okay?"

Santana nodded solemnly, and Quinn smiled at her and grabbed her hand before her mother went on.

"Alright, now the next thing I wanted to talk about… Tomorrow's school, and I know you don't want this to become public knowledge, so don't worry, but I do think that some people need to be alerted of the situation. Not the whole situation-" she quickly added, "just the most important parts, and also that you are living with us now and that your parents are out of the picture. Now, I understand from Quinn that your parents are still pretending that you live with them, and that they're getting all your mail from your colleges?"

Santana nodded again, but a bit more nervously, and Quinn could feel her hands get cold and sweaty at the same time.

"Well, we're going to do something about that. And for that, I think it would be a good idea to… explain the situation to coach Sylvester."

The girls both looked up in surprise at this. Quinn had not expected for her mother to reach out to Sue.

Judy noticed their expressions and smiled. "Oh come now, did you girls really think I bought Sue's story when she brought those Hell's Angels to our house to beat Russell up? I know she helped us, and I'm pretty sure she wants to help you too…"

Santana nodded softly, and Quinn looked at her questioningly. The Latina shrugged.

"She… was the hardest to get off my case… Until you came along, of course." She added the last part with a half smile.

"So, what do you think?"

Santana just shrugged, but when it became clear that Judy was expecting a full response from her, she answered.

"I guess, if she wants to help… And maybe she should know, because she's… coach and all."

Judy clapped her hands then, shocking the two other girls out of their silence.

"Very well, then. I'll go by her office after school tomorrow, and the two of you can join me after Glee. That sound okay?"

The two girls looked at each other and nodded, and Judy smiled.

"Perfect! Now then, how about I make some hot chocolate for you two, you can get changed and watch a movie, and have that sleepover you were talking about?"

Santana and Quinn smiled and nodded, and when the older woman stood up, Santana cautiously caught her sleeve when she made her way out of the room.

"Thanks, Judy… For everything."

Judy just smiled and gave her a quick hug, that Santana more or less reciprocated, after which the two went upstairs.

After they had changed, the two of them threw themselves on Quinn's bed in front of the TV, just sitting next to each other, watching _Friends_, Santana's hand once again in Quinn's.

They had already finished their hot chocolates when Santana suddenly spoke up, letting her head fall to Quinn's shoulder.

"Q…?"

Quinn was surprised that Santana had started talking, but just smiled and combed her fingers through the girl's hair.

"Yeah?"

"_What did you mean when you said you loved me?"_

"What?" The brunette had just mumbled the words, but Quinn hadn't caught them.

"Nothing… I just… said if we could go sleep?"

Quinn was pretty sure that wasn't what the girl had said, but she agreed anyways. It was only when Santana had gotten up and moved to the guest room – _her _room – that Quinn realised what the question had been.

And suddenly, even though she had been extremely tired before, she just didn't really feel like sleeping now.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, it took me some time to write this, I'm more of an action and less of an emotion person, I guess. Updated my fleurtana story as well now, though, so I guess I'm doing good again and I hope to update soon. Not sure how I'm going to make things go at school, though, so if you have any suggestions, shoot :)**


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning, Quinn woke up from the sound of her alarm clock. After thinking things through the night before she had finally fallen asleep, Santana in her arms.

The blonde reached over to shut off her alarm, still sleepily, but when she noticed there was no one else in the bed with her her eyes opened in surprise.

_The blankets next to me are cold already, so Santana must've gotten up ages ago. Where is she?_

Quinn jumped out of bed, staggering a bit because she stood up to quickly, and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes while she walked to the guest room, to see if Santana was there.

When she got to the other room, she quietly pushed the door open and saw the Latina standing in front of the mirror, her cheerio uniform on already, obviously deep in thought.

Quinn could see the girl frowning at herself in the reflection. She had her arms crossed, and it made her look so vulnerable that the blonde couldn't help but quickly go over there and put her arms around her.

Santana had apparently been too focused on herself, because she did not see the blonde coming behind her and tensed up immediately when arms encircled her waist.

When she looked up and met Quinn's eyes in the reflection she relaxed a little, though, and put her hands on top of the other girl's.

"You weren't in bed when I woke up," Quinn said, noticing right away that the guest bed wasn't slept in either.

Santana shrugged a little and smirked at her in the mirror. "Never thought I'd hear a Fabray say that about me. Missing my hot body, huh?"

Quinn just rolled her eyes and fiercely looked into the other girl's, without saying anything.

Santana sighed and her smirk disappeared. "Sorry, defence… You know how I do…"

The blonde just nodded and laid her head on the Latina's shoulder, who was looking down now.

"What's up, San? Couldn't sleep? Nerves or nightmare?"

Santana chuckled a little. This girl knew her well.

"Both, I guess… I was awake at 5, and I didn't see any use in waking you up as well, so I figured I'd let you get a good night's sleep."

Quinn wanted to say that she should've woken her up, but decided against it and instead asked: "Do you wanna talk about it?"

The smaller girl actually clearly thought about it, which Quinn saw as progress, but in the end she just shrugged.

"Naw, I'll be fine… I just… really don't wanna go to school today…"

Quinn laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood. "Do you _ever_ wanna go to school, S?"

Santana understood that she was trying to make her relax, and she appreciated it, laughing along with her.

"No, never, duh!" they smiled at each other for a minute, before Santana went on. "It's just, the whole 'stop using your notebook and become a real person again'- thing… I can't really see that working out… And then having to explain everything to Sue again…"

The blonde nodded and intertwined their fingers, playing with the tan girl's.

"Well, about you being you… Maybe you can be your pretend-person in front of the cheerios and stuff, but try and be more natural with the gleeks? You said you wanted to be their friend, right?"

Santana nodded but said nothing.

"Then we'll just try them first, one step at a time. And about Sue… If you want, I can ask my mom to tell her the story? You will have to go and see her, though, but maybe it'll be easier on you if coach already knows?"

The Latina smiled. "Yeah, that would be great…"

Quinn smiled as well and wanted to go and get dressed now, but Santana's hands kept her in place.

"Q… Just so you know… I'm really glad you saved me…"

Quinn turned the girl around and engulfed her in a big hug.

"Me too, sweetie, me too."

When they finally let go, the blonde swore she could see tears in Santana's eyes, but the girl quickly gave a laugh and pushed her away a bit.

"Come on then, Q, time's running out and I'm sure as hell not going to be late because of you!"

Quinn was still a bit shaken from the intimate hug and a blush had crept its way onto her face, but she pushed back at Santana a little and got out of the room anyways, smiling widely.

While she was in the shower, her thoughts kept going back to Santana, and to her word the night before.

_She asked me about loving her… Does she think I mean as a friend, or as something… more? I mean, I definitely like her as more, I'm just all butterflies when she smiles… And then that hug just now…_

She shuddered underneath the hot water. That hug had felt like electricity to her, and her heart was still thumping in her chest as she thought about it.

_But I can't just tell her that, though, can I? She'll probably never believe that I loved her even when she confessed to me years ago, and that I never stopped loving her… What if she thinks that I just pity-love her? _

Quinn wasn't sure how she was going to do it, but she was sure she didn't want that to happen. She would take it slow, even if she did feel like she had finally gotten her girl back, she was not her girlfriend yet…

Santana needed time to heal, and she was going to give her all the time in the world if she had to.

_That doesn't mean I'm going to let her go, though… No way, I'll try to make her mine, just… slowly and gently. She has to feel like herself again first, only then can I… can we…_

She was smiling to herself as she thought of what they could be, and blushed when she was jolted out of her thoughts by a knock on the door.

"YO, Q! Everything okay in there? We needs to be getting to school, pronto!"

Quinn was shocked by the sudden appearance of the subject of her thoughts, even though she couldn't see her.

_Get a grip, Q, she lives here now, of course she's going to talk to you while you're thinking about her, if only because you're thinking about her like _all the time…

"Q?" The girl's voice was worried now, and the blonde pretty much understood why. She hadn't answered yet, and in her surprise she had knocked over a few bottles.

"Yeah… Yeah, coming!" she husked out, quickly turning off the tap and grabbing a towel.

When she opened the door to go to her room, Santana was still standing there.

This time it was the Latina's turn to be shocked, as Quinn stood there in only a towel, still dripping water.

The girl's eyes went wide, and she quickly looked away blushing.

"Em, sorry… I was just…"

Quinn was holding back a laugh at the sight. Seeing Santana like this, stumbling over her words and trying to avoid looking at her was just too cute. So she decided to add some oil to the fire.

"What's the matter, San, everything okay?", the blonde asked, putting her damp hand on the girl's bare shoulder.

Santana jumped a little when she touched her, and Quinn was glad she wasn't looking at her right now, because there was no way she could hide the huge grin on her face.

"Yeah… fine… *cough*."

Quinn really couldn't hold back anymore now, so she sniggered: "Are you sure, you look a little… red in the face."

At this point, Santana did notice that the girl was laughing at her, so she turned around and frowned, and Quinn couldn't take it anymore.

She started laughing like crazy, and even louder when she saw Santana pouting.

"Are you kidding me, Q?" the girl huffed and crossed her arms, causing Quinn to double over with laughter. "Oh, wow, seriously? Ugh… whatever, just get dressed. I'm leaving in 10 minutes, and if you're not downstairs at that time I swear I will take your car and go on my own, m'entiendes?"

The blushing girl then stomped out of the room, leaving Quinn to catch her breath.

_Okay, maybe it would be a bit hard to take it slow if Santana continued being that cute…_

And with that thought, she finally started getting dressed.

* * *

By the time they got to school, they were only barely on time, but Quinn was still giggling and Santana was still pouting.

When it was time to get out of the car, though, Santana looked up and her face paled.

Quinn immediately stopped laughing and grabbed her hand.

"Hey, it'll be okay sweetie… No one knows something has happened to you this weekend, or the months before… Nothing's gonna change."

Santana just nodded mutely and gave her a short smile, but Quinn could still see the doubt in her eyes.

"Don't worry, we'll get through this… Together." She gave the girl's hand a final squeeze and then made her way outside, Santana following shortly after.

When they went through the doors, some people looked at them, surprised to see them arriving together, but besides that nothing really happened. Quinn thought it was pretty logical, but she could feel Santana tense up under their stares, so she walked closely to her and nudged her with her shoulder.

"Don't be so tense, San. We're the 'hottest bitches in this joint', as you'd normally put it. Of course people are staring at us!"

Santana gave her a disbelieving look, but snorted after a bit.

"Quinnie, dear, what the hell kind of influence am I having on you?"

Quinn shrugged but laughed as well. "A positive one?"

Santana laughed and nudged her back. "Definitely."

They arrived at the choir room together, laughing, and were met with the disbelieving faces of everyone in there.

Quinn felt Santana pause in the doorway, tensing up again, and she was afraid the girl would shut herself off again.

But the Latina took a deep breath and smiled at Quinn for a minute, before grabbing her hand and leading her to the rest of the group.

Quinn was pleasantly surprised by the motion, but when they stood in front of the gleeks she understood that this was as far as Santana would go. The girl obviously didn't know what to say to the now silent group, but to kept a nervous yet genuine smile on her face all the same.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Quinn quickly asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

Kurt, who was watching them walk in with Blaine next to him and had also noticed the surprised faces of his fellow clubbers answered, hoping that his friends would snap out of it.

"Oh, nothing much, just waiting for Mr. Schue… I swear, that man is _always_ late!"

The others nodded with a smile, and were looking at Santana, probably waiting for a response about his vests or something. When that didn't came, and Santana just looked at them all with that same nervous smile on her face, Rachel spoke up.

"Um, I'm sorry, but is everything alright with you two?" She had addressed Quinn and Santana, but was mostly looking at the Latina as she was waiting for an answer. Everyone else was as well.

Santana shrugged and gave her a sheepish smile.

"Yeah… I mean, yeah, everything's fine… Why'd you ask?" She sounded extremely insecure and nervous, and Quinn had to hold herself back from hugging her right there and then.

Some other glee clubbers also noticed that she was insecure, but Rachel, with her amazing people-reading abilities, jumped to another conclusion.

"Oh no, don't tell me you're up to something again? What is it this time? Did coach Sylvester tell you to steal Quinn away from the Glee club by blackmailing her?"

Santana and Quinn wanted to say something, but they didn't get a chance because Rachel was now addressing the blonde.

"Come on, Quinn, don't let this… this _charlatan_ seduce you once more! You know that those cheerleaders are only mere popularity-driven harlots who only care about their looks. I though you had grown past that stage of your puberty already! And you, Santana-" she turned herself to the Latina now, who was looking at her in shock. "I cannot believe you _dare_ try and do this against _your family_, against the people who have always been there for you! Was it not enough to humiliate us with slushies on a daily basis? Do you have to steal away our members again, now? What is the matter, did the IQ of all cheerios combined drop so low that you need our Quinn to get it back above 90?"

Rachel looked around herself, feeling very proud about her ramble, but only Finn appeared to be proud of her 'standing up for herself', as she liked to call it. The others weren't even looking at her, but at the broken look on Santana's face.

Nobody said anything for a while, too shocked by both Rachel's horrible words and by Santana, who was obviously close to tears.

"So you're calling me stupid, Rachel?" Brittany suddenly spoke up and broke everyone from their trances.

Rachel at least had the decency to look a little taken aback at this.

"Oh, Brittany… Well, I assure you, I didn't mean it that way, although I suppose I could understand if you-"

"No, Rachel, I don't think you do understand." Brittany stood up from her seat next to Artie and walked closer to Rachel and the rest of the group.

"Frankly, I don't even care about you calling me stupid right now. I know I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar. But you have NO RIGHT to speak that way about Sannie!"

She looked absolutely furious right now, and the others were shocked by the anger in her voice and on her face.

Rachel stepped back a bit and put herself next to her boyfriend.

"Em… Well… I'm sorry Brittany, but I think everyone here will agree that I said these things for the greater good of this club. I mean, Quinn is my friend, and I will not have her fall for one of the repulsive schemes that Santana is executing here and-"

"LOOK AT HER!" Brittany shouted, making Rachel jump a little. "Does that even _look_ like the face of someone who is making repulsive schemes?"

Rachel and the rest of the club turned to Santana, who was leaning into Quinn now, tears streaming down her face. The blonde had her arms around her and was keeping her in place. As far as she was concerned, Santana wasn't going anywhere until Rachel had apologised, and the only reason _she_ wasn't up there shouting at the dwarf was because she needed to be there for San.

Rachel was shocked, to say the least, when she looked at the Latina. She had expected a scowl, or maybe some fake tears… But this… this looked real… painfully so.

She hadn't expected this and was still trying to wrap her head around it, when Finn suddenly stood up beside her and put his hand on her shoulder.

Brittany had gone over to Santana by now, and hugged her tight as the others went over to them as well, Blaine patting Santana on the shoulder. They hadn't expected Finn to speak up suddenly.

"Oh come on, don't be ridiculous. This is just like that time Rachel told her the only job she'd have would be working on a pole. She can diss it out, but she can't take it! What was it this time, huh? Someone tell you you'd be a great prostitute? Because that's not even an insult, that's just the truth and-"

SLAP!

His hateful monologue was interrupted by a hard slap on his face, that echoed throughout the room.

"Hey gu- What's going on in here?"

And of course, Schuester walked in exactly at that moment…


	21. Chapter 21

_Brittany had gone over to Santana by now, and hugged her tight as the others went over to them as well, Blaine patting Santana on the shoulder. They hadn't expected Finn to speak up suddenly._

"_Oh come on, don't be ridiculous. This is just like that time Rachel told her the only job she'd have would be working on a pole. She can diss it out, but she can't take it! What was it this time, huh? Someone tell you you'd be a great prostitute? Because that's not even an insult, that's just the truth and-"_

_SLAP!_

_His hateful monologue was interrupted by a hard slap on his face, that echoed throughout the room._

"_Hey gu- What's going on in here?"_

_And of course, Schuester walked in exactly at that moment…_

* * *

Everyone looked from Schuester back to the scene in front of them. Finn was still standing there like an idiot, hand clasped over his sore cheek.

He was shocked, but no more shocked than Quinn. When Finn had said those things, she was ready to hit him where it hurt. But before she could even start moving, Santana had left her grasp.

And now the Latina was standing in front of the boy, in a position similar to the one months before, after Finn had outed her. Only now, instead of pure anger, the girl's face portrayed only sadness.

Quinn's heart broke as she saw Santana standing there, tears still streaming down her face, her shoulders slumped in defeat, her hand still in front of her.

She wanted to go over to her, but was interrupted by Mr. Schue stepping in between the two of them.

"What is going on here, guys?" He looked between Finn and Santana. "I thought we were all a happy family, when did that change?"

He looked at Santana for a moment, but seeing her distressed state, he was pretty sure Finn would be able to give a better answer.

"Finn?"

The tall boy tried to put his hands on Rachel's shoulders, for moral support, but the small girl shrugged him off with a shocked look on her face. She may not like Santana very much, but at least she could see that the girl was truly hurt this time.

Of course, this made Finn all the more angry.

"Ask her!", he said, pointing at Santana. "Me and Rachel were just defending the club from her! She was going to do something bad again, mr. Schue, I swear it! And she thought that just by crying she could get away with it!"

Mr. Schue didn't even have to ask if that was the whole truth; the yells coming from the rest of the glee club were enough to tell him that there was quite a bit more to the story than his protégé was telling him.

He turned toward the rest of the group, where Santana was still standing alone with her eyes downcast. Quinn was moving toward her, but clearly didn't really dare touching the girl. The others were too busy shouting insults at Finn to notice Santana.

"Alright, ALRIGHT!", Schue yelled, trying to get them to calm down, "fair enough, Finn, I'll do just that."

The group was obviously not pleased about that, until they saw that he was cautiously moving over to Santana and placed a hand on her shoulder – an action that caused the girl to visibly flinch, so Schue took his hand away.

"Santana, can you tell me what happened?"

He tried to catch her eyes, but the girl didn't budge.

"San…? " Quinn had moved closer as well now. She stood next to the girl and put a hand on her shoulder as well, only this time the girl only tensed up, but didn't shy away.

Santana just shook her head, and Quinn could see her slipping away from her again.

"San, please, just talk?"

Schue and Quinn were starting to get worried now, but the others weren't faring any better. The entire club was looking on silently, all except Finn with pained looks on their faces, although most of them had no idea what this was about.

The room was silent, and the only noise came from outside, where the halls were bustling with students.

_Breathe in, breathe out._

Santana was still not moving. She was shutting it out, all of it. The questions, the looks, the silence… It was all too much for her.

So she did the only thing she could think of.

_Monday – glee club first._

_Smile when everyone smiles._

_Smile at Quinn._

_Eyeroll at Schue._

_Bitch at Finn._

_No eyecontact._

She suddenly brought her head up and rolled her eyes, followed by her perfect HBIC-face.

"Ugh, nothing happened Tubbers the Clown just wanted to practice another one of those stage-slaps, you know? And I only agreed because the way his fat moves when he is slapped reminds me of pudding. So thanks for making a big deal out of nothing, y'all."

She turned around and smirked at Quinn and the rest of the glee club as she did so, but the smudged make-up on her face and the crack in her voice did nothing to ease their worries. Especially in the cases of Quinn, Kurt, Blaine and Brittany, this robotic state made them even more worried.

At that time the bell went, and Santana smiled as she bent to grab her bag.

"Well, time for class, don't wanna be late. Later, losers!"

And she rushed out of the room. Quinn started to go after her, but when she got to the door, she couldn't see the Latina any more.

With a defeated look on her face, she slowly walked back towards the baffled group.

Brittany immediately got to her and hugged her roughly, and Quinn could feel the girl's tears against her neck.

"She's gone, Quinnie. She's gone again…"

Quinn put her arms around the taller girl, but she didn't know how to respond.

_Is she really gone again? I just had her back, she can't be gone._

Tears were starting to form behind her eyelids, but she bit them back as another emotion than defeat forced its way out:

Anger.

Anger at the person who had caused this.

At the person who had caused all this in November.

Finn Hudson.

Quinn gently pushed Brittany away, and went for the boy, who was smiling happily because of how cheap he had gotten off.

She almost reached him and started clawing at his stupid face, when she was pulled back by a bunch of strong arms.

Sam and Puck were holding her back, but although they were a lot stronger than the frail-looking girl, they had a lot of trouble keeping her from killing the boy – mainly because they also felt like punching him.

"Let me go! Let me go! He did this! He did all of it! She was in _hell_ because of him! IN HELL! And now I finally got her out of there, _he_ pushes her back in! LET GO OF ME, GODDAMMIT!"

The boys, of course, did not let go of her, but the looks on their faces showed that they were more than ready to jump on Finn themselves.

Quinn continued screaming, but was cut short when Mr. Schuester rushed in front of her and stood next to Finn.

The tall guy looked relieved when he saw his favourite teacher – because even he was able to understand that everyone else in the room was ready to hit him – but when he saw the disappointed look on the teacher's face, he felt himself go in defensive mode.

"Listen, Mr. Schue", he whispered to his teacher, but of course even in whisper he could be heard by everyone else in the quiet room, "Whatever they say I did, I didn't do it… This is obviously, like, another one of Santana's tricks. You know, like before, when she tried to destroy the glee club."

Mr. Schuester was clearly not impressed by this explanation. Crossing his arms, he said, "Really, Finn? That girl's obvious sadness is a ploy to destroy the glee club? When was the last time she tried to do that, huh?"

He didn't give Finn time to answer this, especially when he saw the boy put his thinking-face on. Instead, he directed himself to the rest of the group.

His face was sad when he looked at them, especially at Quinn, who was being calmed down by Kurt and Blaine.

"I have to say, you guys…", he started, and was sad to see them look at him with fearful eyes. _I've been taking Finn's side too much_, he thought.

"I'm sorry…" From the looks on their faces he knew he surprised them with that admission. He went on: "Here I was, shouting from the rooftops that we were all one happy family. And I didn't even realise that I wasn't treating all members of our family equally… That I wasn't paying equal attention to all of you…"

He took a deep breath as he saw them all with ashamed looks on their faces, especially Rachel. (Finn looked down as well, but Schue – and everyone else – thought that this was probably more because everyone else was looking like that).

"I guess we've all been a little negligent lately, haven't we… Everyone has… evolved from their stereotypes into being who they are, because we tried to help everyone do that… But we've never bothered to help her… And I'm sorry about that…"

They were all nodding now, agreeing that they should have tried, like Quinn and Brittany had said a couple of days before.

"Quinn."

The blonde looked up in surprise, emotion clearly visible on her face.

"I'm sure you know more about what is going on with Santana, and although I don't think it would be right for you to tell us all what has happened to her, I do hope you're confiding in someone. And if not… Please come to me…"

Quinn gave a barely visible nod, at which Schuester gave a sad smile.

"Very well then…" He coughed awkwardly as he looked at the clock.

"I've made you half an hour late to your classes, so I suggest you all get going now. Don't worry, just tell them I needed you a bit longer… And I'll see you all this afternoon."

They all made their way outside, still shocked from what had happened. Quinn still couldn't believe it. She didn't feel like moving, but let Blaine guide her out of the choir room either way.

"Come on, Quinn, it'll be okay." Quinn looked up as Blaine said this, and wanted to give an angry response, when Kurt chimed in.

"Don't do that, Q", he said with a sad smile, "we can't think negative now. We're the Light side, and we have to try and pull Santana back from the Dark side. If we go over to the Dark side now, we'll never get her back."

He was met with a look of confusion from the blonde, and a look of pure adoration from Blaine.

"What? It's Star Wars? Blaine got me into it."

The two lovebirds immediately started cooing at one another, but Quinn zoned out.

_They're right - although the reference really wasn't necessary – but they are right. I need to stay positive… Maybe she didn't sink back too far… Maybe it was just a momentary defence mechanism. I mean, she lives with me now… And I was able to touch her without her pulling away, so that's gotta count for something…_

But then the bell rang again, and as if it was happening in slow motion, she saw a Latina in a cheerio uniform walk right past her, HBIC-face plastered on, throwing the three of them a smile, her chocolate brown eyes completely void of emotion…

She could vaguely make out a small, black notebook hidden in the girl's hand…

* * *

**A/N: So,... Inspiration's back (thanks to homobo's rant about the story, really nice :p) Apparently I haven't updated this in months, so I'm really sorry. Like, really, really sorry. I think I'm back on track now, although I'm still not sure whether I like how the story is going, but I promise that I'll be updating more regularly again.**

**Happy New Year in any case!**


	22. Chapter 22

_But then the bell rang again, and as if it was happening in slow motion, she saw a Latina in a cheerio uniform walk right past her, HBIC-face plastered on, throwing the three of them a smile, her chocolate brown eyes completely void of emotion…_

_She could vaguely make out a small, black notebook hidden in the girl's hand…_

* * *

Santana was vaguely aware of some people watching her intently, but she just continued walking, dead to anything that wasn't part of her usual routine.

She had shut herself off again, and a small part of her knew she had promised she wouldn't do that again. That she had even promised someone that she would never do that again. That her heart almost ached for that one person to hold her.

But she didn't have too many problems ignoring that part of her. She had done it for so long, after all, it had become her default mode by now.

So she just hid herself in a very small part of her head, only focusing on what she had to do next.

_HBIC-face_

_Keep walking, shove anyone in your way_

_Get to next class_

_No eyeco-_

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when a member from Glee suddenly blocked her way.

_Mercedes_

_Wheezy_

_Smirk_

"Wheezy.", she said, a smirk forming on her face. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Mercedes was looking at her with a frown on her face, her hands in her sides. She just kept staring at her, so Santana figured she should just get rid of her.

"Oh, wow, diva-mode, really? Unfortunately, I don't have time for that right now, gotta-"

"…get to class, I heard."

Santana was shocked for a second at how Mercedes talked back to her, but recovered quickly.

"Exactly, so I'll be on my way, afores they-"

"-miss my sexy ass in there?" Mercedes still kept her hands in her hips to block her way, but the expression on her face turned much softer, almost sad.

_NO!_

Santana was getting nervous. Mercedes was _not_ reacting like she should be.

She _really_ needed to get out of there, right now!

Mercedes, however, had obviously noticed her reaction, and knew her suspicions were head-on. She quickly kept talking before Santana could try another evasive manoeuvre.

"Listen, Santana, I know I haven't been a good friend to you, but even _I_ can see that you're hurting. This face you're putting up? Not convincing me. Or anyone in our club, for that matter."

She came a bit closer and completely let go of her diva-mode, moving to put a hand on the girl's elbow.

"Just talk to me, Satan." She had said it really sweetly, her voice laced with concern.

Santana was clutching her books in front of her, and quickly moved away when Mercedes tried to touch her.

"Oh please, I've been convincing you for months, _ALL _of you so-called friends! Don't suddenly act like you care! NOBODY cares."

She had raised her voice during her rant, but those last two words were said so quietly, they were almost a hiss.

Santana kept looking at Mercedes angrily, but she almost remembered that she had to compose herself when she felt someone behind her put their hand on her shoulder.

She looked around quickly. The halls were almost empty, because the bell had already rung, but of course the entire _freaking_ glee club was standing there, all looking at her with _those_ eyes.

"San…" Quinn was the one with the hand on her shoulder, Kurt and Blaine standing right behind her, all three with pained expressions on their faces.

That was it for Santana, she couldn't handle it anymore.

_FUCKING EMOTIONS_, she thought, as she tried to compose herself and quickly bolted.

She heard some footsteps following her, and Quinn calling her name, but she just kept running, faster and faster, until she was a whole way out of the school.

Quinn, Kurt, Blaine, Puck and Sam had followed her all the way outside, but none of them could catch up to her.

They saw her running across the street, and soon all they could see was a small speck of red rounding a faraway corner.

"Shit", Quinn whispered, all her emotions in that one word.

"Maybe we should let her go for a bit." Kurt had come to stand next to her. "It's already a good thing she exploded like that, right? Maybe she needs some time to think…"

Quinn nodded, but didn't feel so sure. "Yeah, but what if what she thinks is even worse than before?"

She finally let her tears run free when Kurt hugged her tight.

They stayed like that for a while, until Puck broke the silence.

"Can someone finally fucking tell me what's going on?"

* * *

"What the hell?! Are you _fucking_ kidding me?"

Puck was the one who was shouting, but all the glee kids looked like they could punch someone, or break something, or whatever.

It was after school, all the glee clubbers were sitting in the choir room (except for Finn. Mr. Schuester had decided that he should be left out of this completely) and Quinn had decided that it would be best to tell them all what was happening. Her mom and Sue were also there, Judy finding it the perfect time to tell her what was happening as well.

Quinn had just told them about her parents leaving her and where she was living when she had found her, and the clubbers had all reacted in shock.

The blonde was telling them everything from the moment she found out that nobody had really had any contact, or eye contact with the Latina, over the notebook all the way to following her to her apartment.

Her listeners went from shocked to even more shocked, and all looked ready to jump right now.

Four of them were silent though. Kurt, Blaine, Britt and her mom knew that what she had told all of them so far wasn't even the worst of it.

She looked around, waiting for them to get over this part of the shock.

The boys had all jumped up and were shouting their anger. Tina was crying and was being comforted by the other girls, all huddled together holding hands. Even Rachel had joined them and looked seriously sad. She obviously was ashamed of everything she had said, and felt guilty for actually backing Finn up, while he was being the biggest douche in history.

Sue, on the other hand, was sitting on the side, legs and arms crossed, her face a stone mask. The only thing that showed what she felt was the way her frown had deepened with every new bit of information she received.

_Well, looks like Santana learned from the best_.

When everyone was over the initial shock, Quinn decided it was time to tell them the rest.

"Guys…That's not all." they all looked at her right away. Even though she had spoken quite silently, the seriousness in her voice was enough to get them all to settle down.

She closed her eyes, preparing for what she was going to tell them next. Taking a deep breath, she began:

"So when we found her apartment, we were pretty much in shock, so we stayed outside We knew from the schedule we'd found in her notebook that she would start working at 9. We wanted to know what this job was, because we couldn't imagine her doing anything at that time. So we waited until 9."

She swallowed as she was trying to find the words to describe this. The lump in her throat, however, wouldn't go away, and she was glad when Kurt came to join her.

"When a car suddenly stopped by the apartment, we hid ourselves behind the bushes," Kurt continued, "Santana came out the door and got in. There was a phone number on the door, and we wrote it down. When the car was gone, Quinn called the number."

He took a breath, and with a determined look on his face he went on.

"The phone was picked up by… the Lima Escort Service…"

"NO!" The entire room was shell-shocked and could not even move, like the information hadn't even reached their brains yet. Only Sue shot up, looking more furious than anyone had ever seen her.

Within seconds she was next to Kurt and Quinn, grabbing the blonde's shoulders angrily.

"Tell me this isn't true", she hissed, "tell me Santana Lopez did not go into _prostitution_ because of this fucking glee club."

"Sue", Judy tried to appease her, but Sue would have nothing of it. She let go of a shaking Quinn, and moved her anger onto Schuester.

"_YOU_ were supposed to help these misfits! Give them a family! Give them some confidence! _I'm_ supposed to be the one to break them down, _you_ should rebuild them. And _this _is what you do?"

Schuester tried to talk back, but Sue gave him no chance.

"One of your kids has had to _sell_ herself because you neglected her, and instead decided to give more confidence to that no-brained neanderthal." She turned to the rest of the shocked group. "ALL OF YOU should have helped her! Where was the big, happy family when all this happened? Too concerned with your pretty little voices. Well, congratulations, you have all _destroyed_ a girl. I hope you're happy with yourselves."

After giving pointed looks to each and every glee club member, Sue left the room.

They all still had guilt-stricken faces when she walked in again a minute later.

"No, hm-hm, you do _not_ get to sit here like idiots, feeling sorry for yourselves."

This time, Rachel found the guts to say something back to her.

"I can assure you that we are rightfully feeling an enormous wave of guilt pass over us, as we should, and that it is quite hard for us to process what's be-"

"Shut it, Oompa-Loompa." Rachel immediately shut up again, and the others, hearing Sue's no-shit voice, turned their attention to her. "You think this is _hard_? Try imagining what … - _she_ must have felt the past couple of months! I can't even call her names anymore, that's how hard she's had it! So no, you all do not get to feel sorry for yourselves. Lopez has been gone for more than 7 hours now, and no one has seen her since. I've even checked with my 'contacts' – she hasn't been near that old apartment, her old house or the Fabray house all day. This girl is DEPRESSED, HATES herself, has had to SELL HER BODY, and WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL SHE IS."

Realisation dawned on everyone there, getting their faces from sad to worried again.

"So instead of sitting here, MOPING like a bunch of babies, you had better get yourselves together and get the hell going!" She ended her rant more silently.

"Unless, of course, you want to lose her." She went around the room, addressing them separately. "I mean, who cares about her, right? You haven't even looked at her for so long, why start now, right?"

"Like hell we will!" "Are you crazy?!" "Never!" They all jumped up, finally with some fire in their eyes.

Sue looked around the room, pleased that they finally wanted to fight for their friend. She locked eyes with a fierce-looking Quinn as she continued.

"Then you better get the HELL out of this room and START LOOKING!"

And for the first time, they all simply listened to Sue Sylvester and followed her outside, hoping that Santana would be fine.

They were just a bit too late… Three hours late, to be precise…

* * *

**A/N: So, I guess not a lot has happened in this chapter, but the next chapter should make up for that (although I hope it will be okay to your liking). I actually still don't really like this story, but I decided I'll finish it just the same - nothing worse than an unfinished story, right?**


	23. Chapter 23

"_Oh please, I've been convincing you for months, ALL of you so-called friends! Don't suddenly act like you care! NOBODY cares."_

_She had raised her voice during her rant, but those last two words were said so quietly, they were almost a hiss._

_Santana kept looking at Mercedes angrily, but she almost remembered that she had to compose herself when she felt someone behind her put their hand on her shoulder._

_She looked around quickly. The halls were almost empty, because the bell had already rung, but of course the entire freaking glee club was standing there, all looking at her with those eyes._

"_San…" Quinn was the one with the hand on her shoulder, Kurt and Blaine standing right behind her, all three with pained expressions on their faces._

_That was it for Santana, she couldn't handle it anymore._

_FUCKING EMOTIONS, she thought, as she tried to compose herself and quickly bolted._

_She heard some footsteps following her, and Quinn calling her name, but she just kept running, faster and faster, until she was a whole way out of the school._

* * *

_Run run run run run run run_

_Don't stop_

_Keep running_

_Out_

_Get out_

_GET OUT!_

Her breathing was laboured, her legs were burning, but she still did not stop.

The school was far behind her by now, there were less and less houses, but the Latina didn't even notice.

She was stuck inside her own head again. The last place she ever wanted to be.

Her head was swirling with thoughts and emotions. It had started that morning and gotten worse just now in the hallway.

_I don't want this, I don't want you_

_GET OUT OF MY HEAD!_

Her legs and stomach started cramping now, she had the taste of blood in her mouth, and black spots in front of her eyes made it impossible for her to see anything anymore.

But she still kept on running. Crossing road after road.

_Run. Just run. _

_Don't think. _

_Just run._

Suddenly, a loud screeching noise brought her out of her trance.

She only had a moment to turn her head to the left, when she felt herself being hit by a car. Her cheerio reflexes caused her to jump at the last moment, causing her body to bounce off the windshield before falling a couple of feet down the road.

Finally Santana was able to give into a sort of nothingness.

She couldn't hear anything.

She couldn't see anything.

The only things she perceived were a beep in her ears, and the feeling of the hard earth beneath her.

_Nothing._

_There is nothing. Nothing matters anymore._

_It's over… It's all over._

_I'm free…_

Vaguely, she heard the click of a door.

Although she wanted to be in her own space, she couldn't stop her ears from listening for the noise.

She wanted to ignore it, and go back to that peaceful beep she heard before.

But she could hear footsteps approaching her quickly, and more clearly with each step.

She could feel again. Not only the hard road, but also her body's physical pain.

"_Nooo…_", she groaned. She didn't want this to be happening.

"Sweetie…? A-Are you okay?"

A woman's voice brought her back to the world completely. Santana tiredly opened her eyes.

She found herself lying on her stomach, the car that hit her a bit further, the door open. Next to her head she vaguely saw a woman kneeling down.

The Latina blinked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Q-Quinn?", she croaked, her voice hoarse from her run and the shock.

She felt a nice, cooling hand on her face and felt her heart welling over.

She blinked again, trying to see the girl more clearly.

When she finally got a good look, the warmth in her body quickly went away.

_It's not Quinn._

She quickly sat up, ignoring the woozy feeling in her head, and looking at the woman sitting next to her.

_She's not even blonde…_

"Wow, take it easy!" The woman tried to push the girl down again. "Don't worry, I called the ambulance, they'll be here any minute. I'm so sorry! You just came running out of nowhere, and… I didn't exactly expect anyone out on the roads at this time, aren't you supposed to be at school, sweetie?"

Santana immediately stood up as the woman said that, ignoring the pain she felt… everywhere.

The woman tried to grab her elbow and steady her, but the Latina pulled away quickly, glaring at her.

"No, no, don't move yet! You're seriously hurt, you could have a concussi- hey!"

Santana had stopped listening and started walking again.

"Wait!" The woman was quickly walking behind her, trying to get her attention, to get her to stop, but the Latina wouldn't listen anymore.

Her thoughts were elsewhere already.

_I was free, I could've been gone and free._

_I could've finally stopped living…_

_Then why was I so happy about Quinn bringing me back?_

… _That was what 'happy' feels like, right?_

_Her being with me would've made me… happy?_

_Her being with me would've made me feel happy to be… alive?_

_So in other words, she is my only reason to live?_

Suddenly, her emotions were overflowing again, beating at her insides, filling her with doubt.

Despite her physical pain, she _had_ to start running again, and so she did.

The woman, who was still trying to stop her, looked shocked when the Latina suddenly ran. She tried to run after her, but had to give up pretty quickly when she saw that the girl only went faster.

She watched her run a while in the distance, and then returned to her car, deciding to wait for the ambulance.

Santana, however, did not stop.

She just couldn't.

She didn't want to look at these feelings.

These freaking awful, horrible feelings she had.

_Keep running._

_Don't stop._

_Don't fucking think._

* * *

_**More than three hours later**_

"You find anything?"

"No, you guys find anything?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Nothing, not a damn thing."

Quinn worriedly looked around the circle.

Almost everyone was back from their first round around the town. They had checked her old house, her rundown apartment, Quinn's house, Puck's house, every street in every part of the town.

She saw Sue and her mother standing there worriedly as well. The coach's face didn't betray anything, but Quinn could see the way her hands were fiddling behind her back.

Sue had made an entire plan and sent everyone on their way. In groups of two they had taken their cars and combed out the entire city, promising to send whatever they could find to her as their central person.

But in the end, everyone had come back to Quinn's house without any sign or sighting of the Latina.

Quinn was at the end of her wits. Kurt and Blaine luckily refused to leave her side, and Brittany was holding her hand the whole time since they'd gotten back from their search.

They weren't the only ones, though. The entire glee club was there, comforting and being comforted at the same time.

At this moment, Quinn was glad that she'd told them everything, even though it should probably have been Santana's place to tell them about her… problems. But she had needed this, this unconditional support, this kind of friendship… And she knew Santana sure as hell could use it as well.

She heard the door and looked up quickly.

Sam and Mike entered, but Quinn could see right away that they hadn't found anything either. When they shook their heads at the group, everyone else looked down again as well, getting back into their own world.

Quinn looked around the room again. Team Schuester – Artie were the only ones who hadn't come yet, but the blonde didn't dare put all her hope on them. She really did not want to be disappointed yet again.

From the corner of her eye, she saw her mom give some cups to the boys that just came in, and ushered them to sit down with the rest of the group, even though she herself was too nervous to sit for more than a second.

After they were seated, everyone went completely silent again. The only sound was that of the clock on the wall.

Quinn could feel the seconds ticking by, and every second her anxiety grew.

After what felt like hours, a loud buzzing sound shook everyone awake.

Sue quickly grabbed her phone on the table and picked up.

It was Schue.

"_Sue? I found someone who saw her_."

The entire group gasped collectively and looked up at Sue.

"Very well, who is this woman? Where did she see her? Where is Santana now?"

She had asked these things very quickly, knowing that everyone was listening intently for every word an clue, but there was a silence on the other end of the line.

"WILLIAM? Talk!"

"… _Right… This woman saw her on XXstreet at the edge of town… When she hit her with her car…"_

"No!" Quinn had shouted, together with the others. She quickly stood up and ran to her car, ignoring Sue's shouts, and went for the street Schuester had mentioned.

She drove as in a haze, hardly even noticing how she got there, until she saw the lights of an ambulance flickering in the beginning darkness of the evening.

When she haphazardly parked her car closeby, she noticed that the others had also followed her, and saw the rest of the Glee club, and her mom and Sue, following her up to where the ambulance and a police car where gathered.

When she saw Mr. Schue and Artie talking to a woman and a cop, she ran over to them.

"Where is she? Is she okay? Was she hurt badly? Can I-", she started, but she was quickly stopped when Schuester put his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him with a bewildered look. He tried to look comforting, but she could see the worry in his eyes.

"We don't know where she is, Quinn. She was hit by Mrs. Daniels here, and she had a wound on her head and wounds and bruises on her legs and arms, so I thought it would be pretty bad, and she was out for a while, but then suddenly she woke up and she mistook me for someone else, and then she stood up and just… ran."

"She mistook you?"

Quinn turned around and saw the other standing there as well. It was Kurt who had asked the question, and he looked at Quinn for a moment as he asked it.

"Yeah… Um, she called me Quinn I think." The woman looked intently at the blonde. "That was… your name, wasn't it?"

Quinn nodded mutely. She felt happy that Santana woke up because of the thought of her, but at the same time she also knew that _she_ was the reason Santana bolted again.

Brittany's hand in hers brought her back to the present, where she noticed the cop was talking now.

"… and if she does indeed have certain, um, issues, then we really have to find her, and fast. Now, Mrs. Daniels here told us that Ms. Lopez was running in that direction-" he pointed toward the forest on the other end of the road, "and with her wounds, your friend cannot have gone far. An all-out search is probably the best idea here, especially with the size of the area, so I suggest you partner up as well and spread out. I will give you all my number, so the moment you see anything, and I mean _anything_, from a piece of hair to a footprint that is probably recent, you call me. We all clear?"

The glee clubbers and other cops were nodding fiercely and immediately partnered up again and left, some by car, some on foot. They understood that this was their best chance of finding the girl, and that they'd better hurry up if they wanted to see her safe.

Quinn and Kurt went in through the east side of the forest, following a small path. Even though she was exhausted, the blonde kept walking hurriedly, her worry edging her on.

_Please, Tana,… Please be okay?_

* * *

**A/N: So I guess a lot of you disagreed on the telling everything to the glee club thing, which I understand, but I really just wanted it out in the open, so they can fully support her. That aside, I hope this cliffhanger isn't too bad, I actually had an even more dramatic ending in mind for this chapter, but unfortunately I didn't have time for that, so you'll have to wait for that still, hopefully I'll be able to update tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed it. Also thanks for the reviews, they really help with the motivation!**


	24. Chapter 24

_Huff, huff, huff… _

_Gotta… Keep going…_

Santana couldn't even think about her feelings anymore.

After running from that woman, she had only barely made it into the forest when she just couldn't run anymore.

Yet she still didn't stop, but kept struggling to walk on. She had to get away from there.

From that woman who was confronting her with feelings she didn't want to feel.

From Lima, the town that had been her horrible home all her life.

From her former house and her apartment, neither of which she had ever felt happy at.

From that school, where she had once thought she could be happy.

From those glee clubbers that had formed a family she honestly had though she could belong to. She had wanted to belong to.

From Brittany, the girl that was the only bright light in this miserable, stinking world.

From Quinn, her first..

_NO_

Even though she was dead tired and in pain, she tried to start running again, pushing through ferns and thorns, dragging her feet, constantly nearly falling, but ending up putting her feet down again just before she could.

Her horrible run continued, until she just couldn't anymore.

Couldn't run.

Couldn't think.

Couldn't even stand.

Closing her eyes, she dropped to her knees, and the rest of her body immediately followed, finding peace on the damp forest floor.

* * *

"This cannot be happening. SANTANA!"

Quinn was rushing through the forest, pushing branches to the side, shining her flashlight in every direction.

"SANTANA! Santana, _PLEASE_! Answer me!"

The blonde was in a frenzy. She couldn't stand still, she wanted to find Santana, she was worried that because they had kept following that narrow path, they had already passed her.

_Maybe she can't answer me._

_Maybe we already passed her a while ago, and she couldn't hear us because she's lying somewhere, cold, in pain, maybe even-_

"No! Santana! SANTANA!"

Kurt was following right behind her, as worried as the blonde. He too feared for Santana, in every way possible, and he was shouting throughout the forest as well, but he was by now also worried about Quinn.

She had had an emotionally very rough day, and right now the girl had been shouting for over 2 hours, without any result.

All they had heard from the other groups was that they couldn't find anything either, and Quinn was really losing hope by now.

"SANTANA!"

"Quinn? Quinn, maybe we should-"

"SANTANAA! Talk to me!"

Kurt was immediately cut off by the blonde, like she hadn't even heard him.

"SANTAN-"

Kurt moved in front of her and grabbed her shoulders.

"QUINN!" The blonde finally seemed to step out of her trance, although she was still looking at him with unseeing eyes. "Calm down for a moment, sweetie."

"Calm…? Kurt, do you even-" she started angrily, but the boy stopped her.

"Yes, I know. But right now, you're not thinking clearly."

"Really? Now why would that be, huh? Maybe because the girl I love COULD BE DEAD SOMEWHERE IN THIS FREAKING FOREST, AND BECAUSE SHE HASN'T BEEN SEEN IN _HOURS_? WHAT DO YOU-"

"I KNOW!" Kurt shouted, shutting the girl up. He was thinking the same things, but hearing her say them out loud made him flinch internally. "Quinn, I know. I feel the same. And no-" he quickly added, "in my case she isn't the love of my life, but that doesn't mean that I'm not FUCKING worried as well, okay?"

He had finished saying that really angrily, and that shocked Quinn enough to calm her down for a bit.

Kurt let go of her shoulders and moved away after his outburst, and the girl watched him sit down in silence.

After a while, she finally felt how tired she really was, and sat down on a tree branch in front of him, keeping her eyes trained on the ground.

_How did this happen? How could a normal day at school become… this? Finn Hudson? – No, it was me… I should've stood up for her… I should've told him off the moment he opened his mouth… I should've been the one to save her, I'd promised her I'd keep her safe, I promised her I'd-_

A bottle of water held in front of her shook her out of her thoughts. When she accepted it, she looked up to see that Kurt had moved next to her, and in his blue eyes she saw all the worry she knew could be seen in hers as well.

"Don't."

The blonde looked at him in surprise as she drank.

"Don't what?"

He put his arm around her shoulder. "Don't think like that. Like this is all your fault. You couldn't have stopped what happened this morning. You can't go into Santana's head and force her to see what an amazing person she really is. You can't make her see she has the right to be happy. You can only try and help her as she figures that out. But don't hate yourself for this. This was _not_ your fault."

Quinn shook her head, forcing back the tears. "If I'd have been there for her months ago, when she needed me-"

"Then we would probably not be here, that's true. The two of you would be making plans by now, about living together in New York, or finding another way to make your relationship work as you both happily get into college."

He was smiling lightly at his own image, but saw that Quinn's expression had only grown sadder, so he quickly went on.

"But that's not what happened, sweetie, and not just because of you. You, me, the glee club, we were all to blame, but she is as well. She could've looked for help, but she decided not to. I know" he quickly went on when he saw her try to interrupt, "You could've tried harder, right? No, you couldn't, you had no idea of what was going on, and she didn't want you to know. And we both know that secrets kept by Santana are hard to uncover."

He stood up, keeping eye contact with the blonde.

"In other words, it's a lot of if's. 'If I had done this, IF she had done that, IF we would've paid attention.' But that's all in the past, and we can't change it. What matters is the now. She is in need of us right now, so we can either go crazy thinking about what we didn't do in the past, or accept that it is the past, and focus on helping her right now, so that we can have the future to make up to her."

He held his hand out to her as he finished.

"So, what will you do? Think about how you might've failed saving her, or will you actually save her?"

Quinn was full-out crying by now, but she didn't even care. She had needed Kurt's words. He was completely right:

_Screw the past. I have to save her now. I want that future, living in New York, living together. I want it all!_

With a determined face, she took Kurt's hand and stood up, immediately surprising him with a bone-crushing hug.

"Thanks Kurt, I really needed that", she whispered next to his ear.

Kurt smiled softly. "Yeah, well, so did I…"

They kept holding onto each other for a while, relishing in the warm feeling, when Quinn's attention was suddenly drawn by a noise to their left.

She let go of the boy and looked in the direction of the noise.

"Is that… water?"

* * *

The taste of wet earth in her mouth woke her up.

_Ugh… not again…_

Her entire body was stiff with cold and pain. She tried to move her arms, but her muscles protested.

_Can't I just stay here… Lay here forever._

'_If I lay here…. If I just lay here… _

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?'_

The song popping up in her head got her moving again. Moving to her meant being able to ignore her feelings. Especially now, with the pains in her body, just slowly sitting up was enough movement to keep her from thinking.

Santana tried to push herself up. When she was on her knees, she grabbed hold of the piece of metal to her right and pulled herself up on unsteady feet.

When she was halfway up, she suddenly froze.

_Metal?_

She squinted her eyes to try and see more clearly. It was pitch black in the forest, but she noticed that she was in a more open space now, where the moon gave her some light.

And then she saw it. She didn't understand why she hadn't noticed it before, but in the light of the moon she could see it clearly.

_Water…_

She was standing on the bridge of a river.

_I had no idea there was a river flowing through this forest, especially one this big… But then again, I have no idea what forest this is…_

She clung to the railing, holding herself up, feeling more at peace than she had in a long time.

She let her eyes wander over the river.

She loved every part of it. The way the moonlight reflected on it. The way the water moved. The flow was rough, but that only made the scene that much more… natural.

_I could live here._

_I could stay here for the rest of my life._

_Be at peace._

_Not having to worry about what others think of me._

_Not having to be worried about anything or anyone._

_Just… be here…_

_Forever._

She was as in a trance by now.

Slowly, she pushed herself up.

She climbed the railing of the bridge, not once taking her eyes off the rumbling water.

She smiled to herself and closed her eyes as she prepared to jump.

"SANTANA! NO, WAI-"

_Plunge._

* * *

**A/N: Okay, a couple of things. One: I have no idea what the US (including Ohio) look like geographically, so it is very well possible that you don't have forests with big rivers. I haven't got a clue, but let's just go with it? Two: Santana standing up after getting hit by a car is, I guess, indeed pretty incredible in the literal sense of the word. But in my head she is only lightly injured, like not having any broken bones and stuff, but still injured. So um I think I'd just like to ask that you all suspend your disbelief? Then hopefully the story will be alright. So I hope you enjoy it till the (nearing) end!**


	25. Chapter 25

_Just… be here…_

_Forever._

_She was as in a trance by now._

_Slowly, she pushed herself up._

_She climbed the railing of the bridge, not once taking her eyes off the rumbling water._

_She smiled to herself and closed her eyes as she prepared to jump._

"_SANTANA! NO, WAI-"_

_Plunge._

* * *

When she heard her name being called, Santana looked up.

She had not thought she'd hear that voice again.

She had thought that she was free now. That she had let go of every part of her life.

But _her_?

She just didn't seem to be able to let go of her.

When they made eye contact, she wanted to say her final goodbye to the blonde.

Let go of her, for real.

She gave her a sad smile, preparing herself to jump.

Quinn tried to speed up, but the muddy ground next to the river was too slippery.

And then it was too late.

Before her body could hit the ice cold water, her head hit a stone on the bank of the river.

She quickly lost consciousness and was swept away.

As she was sucked into the river, two pairs of unbelieving eyes followed the movements of her body in shock.

Kurt was shouting something, but she couldn't even hear it.

She was seeing black.

She could not believe this was happening.

One moment, she had been ready to jump.

To leave this stinking world behind.

To let Quinn live her life happily, without her, but happily.

And now she was standing here, still on the railing of the bridge, watching a head of blonde hair get swept away.

She felt like her heart had stopped.

_No… No, this is not supposed to happen! I'm supposed to die, not __her__! Never her! She deserves to live, she has to graduate and leave Lima and go to Yale and look after her kid like she promised and look out for __me__like she promised! She said she would help me, that she'd stay by my side, forever! SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME! I LOVE HER! She can't di-_

The truth hit her like a ton of bricks.

_I love her…_

And suddenly, all her thoughts of peace in death were gone.

_How can I leave her? She saved me, or she tried to at least. She's the only reason I need to live._

_And now it's my turn to save her._

Kurt was still shouting in shock, but Santana ignored him. She quickly spotted the blonde, and immediately dove into the water.

She felt like all the oxygen was pushed from her lungs when the water surrounded her, but she bit through the cold and tried to find Quinn.

Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy to see a blonde head in the light of the moon while in the water, so she frantically kept looking around.

She was completely freaking out, and had to struggle keeping her head above water while the stream was strongly pulling her along.

Santana was really freaking out by now, the cold was making her body numb, and she s_till_ hadn't found her! They were also going into a darker part of the forest, so the moonlight would be of no help in a bit.

"SANTANA!"

Startled, the Latina looked to her left. Kurt was running along the river path. In the dark, she could see him pointing somewhere in front of her.

"LOOK! TO YOUR RIGHT! BIG TREE!"

Santana anxiously looked to her right, and saw a blonde head struggling to stay above water about 6 meters in front of her.

She immediately forgot about her numbing body and propelled herself forward, watching now as she got closer to Quinn.

The blonde, for her part, had sort of regained consciousness, but with the difficult way she flailed her arms to barely keep her head up, Santana immediately understood that the girl was not okay.

At all.

She looked like she was on the verge of losing consciousness again, when the Latina grabbed her.

"_Wha… San_?" The blonde struggled to husk out, her eyes hardly opening to see her.

"Shh.. Yeah, it's me babe. Don't talk. I've got you."

Santana was kicking hard at the water. She had put her arms around the blonde's waist, right under her arms, and had put Quinn's head on her shoulder.

"_I thought you were dead? You were gonna jump? How are y-"_

Quinn's consciousness was fading away again, so Santana jolted her a bit.

"Don't sleep, Q. Not now, not yet. Stay with me, babe."

Quinn tried to stay awake, but Santana could see it was really hard for her. She looked around to see if there was _any_ way out of this, but she couldn't find anything. And frankly, keeping the two of them up was really hard. She hadn't eaten anything all day, and the injuries from the accident were seriously hurting her.

She was trying to think of ways to get out, when she heard Kurt calling out to her again.

The duo had drifted towards his side of the bank, and he was running right next to them by now.

"Santana! There are some steps over there!"

"I… ca…" She was struggling to keep her head above water now.

"WHAT?"

"I can"t keep this up much longer!" she got that out in one go, but the water filling her mouth afterwards was not helping her.

_If I could just keep this up until then…_

Then an idea hit her. A lesson her father had taught her when … Before… everything. She had never thought she'd actually need it, and silently she thanked him for at least that little help in her life.

"KURT! Throw me your pants!" A hard wave hit her as she finished it, but she kept eye contact with the boy as she coughed.

"Throw my… what?" The boy's face would've been funny if the situation hadn't been so freaking serious.

"YOUR PANTS! NOW!"

He knew better than to disagree now, so he hopped from one foot to another, thanking himself that he was not wearing his tightest pants.

When he finally had them off, he made to throw them to Santana, but she stopped him and told him to tie up both of the pants' sleeves.

Kurt quickly did as he was told, and threw her the pants. The Latina let go of Quinn with one hand, and quickly smashed the pants underwater with the other, so the sleeves would be filled with air.

Holding the cushion she created, she held it under Quinn's chin to keep her head up, and laid her own head on it as well, right next to the blonde's.

The movement shook Quinn awake again.

"San…" It was quiet, but their faces were so close together, that Santana could easily hear her.

"Quinn, shh, don't talk. I'll get us out, I promise."

The blonde ignored her order though.

"Why did you run? Why would you try and k-kill yourself?"

"Quinn, don't, not right now." Santana was trying to focus on finding the stairs out of the water, but her hard stare on the river bank was becoming antsy as Quinn talked.

"I thought you wanted a new life. I thought you said you'd try to get better. That I could help you. That you'd lean on me? So why-?"

"I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? It was too much! I didn't deserve a new life! I didn't deserve _you_ in my life! Finn only reminded me of that…"

"San-" Quinn was fading again, but she wanted to stay awake. She had to say this.

"You do deserve… More like I don't deserve you… Should've saved you… Should've told you… Want you in my life… Have to have you in my life… Please… Don't go."

If her face wasn't so wet already, Santana was sure the tears would be clearly visible. Quinn's words had come out slowly and difficultly, but she had let her speak, and was now obviously happy she had.

She pulled herself together when she heard Kurt shouting above her, and was only barely in time to grab the railing of the steps. Kurt was with them in seconds, and helped Santana pull Quinn up.

Together, they struggled up the stairs, gently laying the girl down in the grass.

Kurt immediately took off his coat to put on top of the girl, and held his T-shirt to the wound on her face.

He had gone through so many freights this evening, he was glad it was over. He had called everyone while running behind the duo, and an ambulance was on his way.

_Thank god it's over… _

"God dammit Quinn, we already had one person to worry about, and then you go and do this…", he whispered to the girl.

Quinn gave a soft smile, followed by a nasty cough. She tried to talk, but Kurt stopped her.

"Shh… Just rest up for a bit… Help is on its way."

He was glad to see the girl really did settle down.

_That was awful. I couldn't do anything, I was just frozen… If things had gone differently, and Santana had jumped…_

He looked around, expecting to see the Latina next to the blonde, but he couldn't spot her.

"Santana?" Quinn's eyes opened at Kurt's shout. She tried to sit up, but the boy pushed her down again.

_Don't tell me…_

"Santana?!" From where she was laying, she could vaguely make out Kurt's silhouette in the dark as he stood up.

"Sant- Oh god! HELP! SOMEONE!"

When she saw his form fall down to his knees, Quinn couldn't stay down anymore. She tried to crawl over to where he was sitting, but it wasn't easy with the way she was feeling. She could see lights hurrying over to them out of the corner of her eye, and she could even hear someone shouting "THEY'RE HERE!", but seeing the group didn't matter as much as seeing the Latina right now.

"Kurt, what's going-"

"No, Quinn, lie down, she'll be fine, just go back!"

"Kurt, what is-"

It was then that the flashlights arrived, lighting up the scene, and showing Quinn the unconscious form of a battered and bruised Santana.

It was the last thing she saw before passing out herself.

* * *

**A/N: So... Yeah... I liked Santana taking action. I just prefer her more... heroic. I'm not sure if anyone will agree with me, but I just went with it anyways. Sorry?**


	26. Chapter 26

"_Kurt, what's going-"_

"_No, Quinn, lie down, she'll be fine, just go back!"_

"_Kurt, what is-"_

_It was then that the flashlights arrived, lighting up the scene, and showing Quinn the unconscious form of a battered and bruised Santana._

_It was the last thing she saw before passing out herself._

* * *

"Oh God, I can't stand this anymore! What's taking them so long?!"

_Wha? What's going on?_

"Kurt, shh, be quiet. Hospitals don't like loud people. It scares the healing fairies. And besides, Quinn's still asleep."

_Britt? Wait, what's happening? Am I asleep?_

Quinn's eyes were still closed, but she slowly squeezed them open. Her entire body felt so heavy, that even the little attempt at moving her head in the direction of the voices caused her to groan.

"Oh my god, Quinn!"

"I told you you should've been quiet!"

The blonde's eyesight was rather blurry, but she could see two faces suddenly coming closer to hers, and she felt her hand being grasped by one of them.

She tried to talk, but her voice was raspy and all that came out were separate sounds.

"Q, hold on, I'll get you some water."

She felt a straw being pushed at her mouth, and slightly lifted her head to swallow. When her head hit the pillow again, she still felt tired, but at least her sight was better and she felt like she could talk again.

"Is that better sweetie?"

She could see Brittany's worried face clearly now. The girl was still holding her hand. Kurt was sitting at the edge of her bed, an equally worried look on his face.

Quinn nodded and smiled softly. "Yeah…", she husked out, "better."

Kurt and Brittany both smiled, before the boy started talking.

"Good, the doctor said you should be feeling a bit woozy. You have a serious concussion, but the wound just needed stitches so that's okay. He also said your body temperature dropped too low from being in the water too long, and then the exhaustion from the day as well would make you feel extremely tired and your body feel really heavy, so you should really lay still and rest. The others weren't allowed in because of that, by the way, the doctor said you should rest and that only two people at a time were allowed in. Coach Sylvester wanted to come in first, together with mister Schue, but we were pretty sure that that wouldn't exactly help you rest, so they stayed out in the waiting room. Puck and Sam wanted to come in with you as well, but I mean we couldn't exactly let those boys near you whilst you were unconscious, I mean seriously, that would be like-"

"Kurt!"

The boy stopped and looked up sheepishly. Quinn had listened to his nervous babble for a while, but the moment he had talked about the water, her heart had stopped.

She couldn't believe she only thought about it now, and seeing the way Kurt was looking at her, she was afraid to ask him about her.

"What about… Santana? How is she? Is she…?"

Both Kurt and Brittany looked down at her question. Quinn tried to sit up, even though her body was protesting. The taller blonde helped her and pushed her backrest up, but still refused to meet her eyes, although Quinn could see the sadness even without direct contact.

"Guys? Is she…? Did she…? Wh… Ho…?"

Her breathing was getting ragged. She could feel tears streaming over her cheeks, and she was pretty sure she was hurting Brittany with how hard she was squeezing her hand.

_No! No no no no no no NO! This can't be happening! Not her! _

She felt like she was hyperventilating. She could see that Kurt was trying to talk to her, tears in his eyes as well, but nothing came through to her. All she could hear was a buzzing sound in her ears.

_This can't be! She saved my life! She was going to get better! We were going to have a future together! I loved her! Why did she have to go? Why did-_

"QUINN, stop it!" She felt herself being pushed back against the bed roughly, and noticed that her feet were hanging off the edge. She had unconsciously tried to get out of the bed.

"I can't… Let me go! I have to go see her!"

"Quinn, you can't! You can't go see her, she's still in surgery!"

The blonde froze at that last word.

_Surgery_?

"Wait.. What do y-"

"She's not dead, Quinn!" Brittany quickly said, before Quinn could go back into her head. "She in bad condition, but the doctors are trying to make her better!"

Quinn relaxed back into the bed, although her muscles were still pretty tensed up.

"So she's… alive?"

Brittany sat down next to her head, running her fingers through her hair in a calming movement like only the blonde could do.

Kurt sat in front of her, taking Brittany's place holding her hands. He nodded at her question.

"Yeah, sweetie, she's alive, but… it was pretty bad when they brought her in. She'd fainted right after she dragged you out of the water… The ambulance doctors had to treat her for hypothermia right away, but when we got to the hospital after your ambulance, they told us that that wasn't all she had…"

He paused a bit to see how Quinn was taking in all this information. The blonde had gotten over her initial shock slash happiness about Santana being alive, and was now intently listening what exactly was wrong with her girl.

"She… Well, being hit by a car apparently had a worse effect on her than it seemed. I mean, she stood up and ran off, for crying out loud! And she jumped after you and was able to rescue you and keep you up the whole time!"

He was running his hand through his hair, pretty much ruining it and trying to fix it with each move. His frustration was clear, although Quinn wasn't sure if he was frustrated with Santana for putting herself in such danger, or with himself for not noticing it sooner.

She squeezed his hands in comfort, and when he softly smiled back at her, Brittany decided to continue.

"The doctors said it was crazy that she was able to do that. She must've wanted to run away from her problems so badly, that she even was able to ignore the pain coming from every movement she made."

Quinn started to look glum at that bit of information, but Brittany didn't give her the chance to do so.

"What was even more crazy, though, was that after that she was even able to jump after you without thinking about that pain." She turned Quinn's head below her a bit so she could look her in the eyes. "She did that because she loves you, Quinn. She ignored her pain because her feelings for you were greater than her feelings of pain. So don't beat yourself up over this. It's not your fault. In fact, if you hadn't been there, and maybe even if you hadn't fallen into the water and bumped you head, she would've probably jumped in to die, not to live, and who knows how that would've ended."

She put her hand on Quinn's cheek. "She's alive now, Quinn. And she came back to you right before she fainted. The real her. So don't hate yourself, and you either Kurt." The boy looked surprised, but also sort of comforted that she had mentioned him as well, "All we can do now is wait. Wait for the doctors, and wait for her to wake up."

Quinn was crying by the time Brittany stopped talking. She felt better, though, and softly smiled up at the girl.

"Thanks Britt, you're a genius."

Brittany smiled brightly at her words, scooted down on the bed and hugged her tight.

Kurt nodded as well. "Yeah, Brittany, you really are." He patted her on the shoulder in thanks, and grinned a bit afterward. "I'd come and join you on the bed, but I'm afraid my pants are still wet from when Santana used them as a life raft, and I don't think you'll like the way they feel right now.

The other two smiled at his words, and Quinn just grabbed him by his collar and pulled him next to her.

"I don't care, come over here, mister wetpants. I need some cuddling while we wait."

"While we wait for your favourite cuddler?"

"Exactly."

"Fair enough." Kurt laid down next to her, but immediately jumped up.

"Oh God. The others! Your mom! The coach! We didn't tell them you woke up yet! Crap, they're gonna kill us!"

He hurried out of the room, leaving Brittany and Quinn to chuckle softly before they fell silent again.

In the silence of the hospital room, surrounded by Brittany's comfortable warmth, Quinn felt safe again.

_If only these arms belonged to someone else... What's taking these doctors so long? If they mess up, or if something happens to San, I'll-_

"Ouch!"

She was pulled out of her thoughts roughly when the taller blonde flicked her nose. Quinn scowled at her.

"What was that for?"

"You were thinking badly again, Quinnie. Just believe in San. She's remembered how much you mean to her, how much life means to her. She'll fight to be with you again, trust me."

Quinn smiled. It never ceased to amaze her how smart Brittany was when it came to people. Almost like she could read her mind.

"You're right, Britt, I just… really wish I could be with her right now…"

From the corner of her eye, she could see the other blonde smile at her.

"What, so my cuddles aren't good enough for you?" Brittany poked her playfully.

Quinn smiled back and decided to play along. "Well…"

She pretended to think about that, causing Brittany to sit up straighter, putting her mock-hurt-face on, clearly channelling her inner Rachel Berry.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray, I am shocked! How dare you! I hope you realise that this kind of behaviour will not go unpunished!"

Just as Quinn was about to apologize, a mischievous glint came into Brittany's eyes, and she started tickling her. Quinn was laughing like crazy, all thoughts of Santana pushed to the back of her mind as Brittany pretty much tortured her into laughter.

The thoughts came back pretty quickly, though, when a doctor walked in the room and coughed loudly to get their attention.

When they heard the cough, Britt immediately jumped off the bed, and Quinn tried to sit up even straighter, ignoring her tired muscles and pounding head ache (- the tickle fight might not have been the best idea, in retrospect).

"You're… Santana's doctor, right?"

Quinn looked at him with fearful eyes. She pretty much guessed he was Santana's doctor, judging by the many people that were following him into the room. Judy immediately came up to her, standing on the other side of her bed and putting an arm around her shoulder. The woman didn't try to talk to her, but just redirected her attention immediately to the doctor, who was standing in front of the bed, just staring at his file.

The others filed into the small room as well, giving Quinn small encouraging smiles she didn't even notice, before they as well gave the doctor all their attention.

Even Sue and Will were quiet for a change, giving the room an eerie quality as they waited for the serious-looking doctor to start talking.

He was apparently waiting for everyone to come inside the room and get settled down a bit, or something like that, because he looked pretty hesitant. After the long minutes of silence, Quinn seriously just wanted him to start talking. Her mom could apparently see that the girl was ready to jump out of bed and pull the information out of him, so Judy decided to act before her daughter could.

"Dr. Myers, we're all really worried about Santana, so could you please just start talking?"

The doctor looked up in surprise as the woman opened her mouth, but as he saw the worried faces throughout the room, he sighed and looked at Quinn and Judy.

"Right, I'm sorry about that… It's just that this situation is rather… difficult. Normally, the information about a patient should only be disclosed to his or her family, and in this case-"

"In this case the bastards that should call themselves their family and should have been there for her are not around." Everybody looked in shock at Quinn as she said it, but most gleeks pretty much nodded and went back to staring at the doctor, who continued to look shocked. Because he didn't continue speaking, Quinn quickly added: "We're the closest family she has here, and we are _not_ waiting to know about our friend's health until those deadbeat idiots come back from Florida or wherever they are right now, _if_ they would even care enough to actually come back for the daughter they abandoned."

She could see the doctor swallow clearly, but nod afterwards.

"R-right, th-that's what miss-" he looked shiftily at coach, who smirked and said her name, "Sylvester, right, miss S-Sylvester was telling me just now as well… So, indeed, uhm, you are the closest family she has and… yes, I talked about it with some people and it should be alright if I-"

"Oh stop the blabbering and get on with it!" Coach Sue interrupted him, looking angry, but also more nervous than Quinn had ever seen her.

"R-right! Yes, of course, I'm sorry." He finally looked serious again when he said that last phrase, and Quinn felt that he was genuinely sorry about everything. His voice was a lot calmer when he started talking next, and he looked her straight in the eye with a soft look as he continued.

"Ms Lopez was unconscious when she was brought in. At first look, the problem seemed to be a severe case of hypothermia and exhaustion, suggested by the fact that she had been in the water for too long. The description of the facts given by mr. Hummel here seemed to suggest that that was the worst to it. He had told us she had been hit by a car earlier today, but judging by the fact that she had been able to stand up and run away after that, we believed that this accident could not have had too much of an effect on her."

He paused for a bit, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes in a tired motion before he continued.

"Unfortunately, we hadn't taken into account the girl's tenacity. Her body had suffered a lot more from the crash than we had anticipated. Some of her ribs had cracked, and –"

Quinn zoned out as he continued talking. She felt like she was drowning, and all she could do was sit and stare at his mouth.

_Hypothermia_

_Exhaustion_

_Believed_

_Unfortunately_

_Suffered_

_Cracked_

_Unfortunately…_

She felt like she couldn't breathe anymore, like she didn't remember how to do it, and her body was just struggling to breathe in and breathe out at the same time.

Her ragged breaths caught her mother's attention. Judy took her head in her hands and made Quinn focus on her face, not on the doctor.

"She'll be fine. Relax. Breathe. Breathe, baby, breathe."

She kept talking to her, and after a while her mother's soothing words actually got through to her, and she could breathe normally again.

When Judy stepped back, concern still evident on her face, Quinn looked at the doctor again, and saw that Sue was suddenly standing next to him, whispering things into his ear, like her mother had done to her, only she could see from a distance that instead of calming him, the things Sue was whispering weren't doing that to him.

At. All.

So when Sue saw that Quinn was okay again, she gave a final glare at the doc, gave him a pat on the shoulder that caused him to jump up violently, and she went back to her place in the corner.

"I… I…" The doctor chanced a glance into the menacing corner, before he took a deep breath and tried again. "I believe apologies are in order. You obviously did not need an enumeration of everything the patient has suffered, I believe you already understand the… gravity of her condition."

He glanced up at Sue again as he went on, noticing the woman give him a look that clearly meant 'no more allusions to how bad her situation was (or I'll kill you)'. "*cough* I suppose I should skip to the conclusion then… After long hours of surgery, with the necessary… troubles, I can say that ms Lopez's condition if now more or less stabilised. She is still rather fragile, and has lost a lot of blood, so we will be keeping her under narcosis for a little while longer, but…"

Again, Sue was making a hand movement that told him to get on with it, and this time, finally, he could look Quinn straight in the eye and gave her what she had wanted to hear all along:

"Ms Lopez, Santana, with a lot of rest and good care, will be fine. She'll make it through."

And that was all she needed to put a smile on her face again.

_She was going to be fine!_

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews! No cliffhanger this time, hope you like._**


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